Another Path for Another Life
by mmeoakenshield
Summary: Thorin - the exiled Prince - and Laurelin - a young maid - met for the first time only a few days after the fall of EREBOR, following Smaug's attack. This meeting will be the beginning of a true relationship wich will end, someday, by the union of these two soulmates.
1. HOMELESS

Erebor was lost, and Dale was no more than ashes and ruins. Everything had burned around them, leaving them all scorched and wounded and homeless. The sky was black with smoke, hiding the sun and turning the world into a black chaos full of corpses, full of weeping women and screaming children. The air was full with the stench of charred wood and death. The small river running through the valley, between Erebor and Dale, was choked with a thick layer of gray ash, turning the water into poison. Men and Dwarves alike were standing outside, listening to Smaug's loud roars of ecstasy as he wallowed in the mountain's gold like a pig in the mud.

**« And now ? »** Lady Dis asked slowly, her voice hoarse from breathing in so much smoke.** « What are we going to do now ? »**

Tears were running down her face, into her soft black beard.

Thorin put an arm around her shoulders, and a kiss on the top of her head. As devastated as he was, he still had strength enough to comfort his beloved little sister, as he had done so many times during their childhood. She looked up at him, then she burst into sobs against Thorin's large chest.

**« Home, Thorin... This was our home... This was everything... What do we have left, now ? »** she said miserably, clutching at the front of Thorin's tunic with both her hands.

Thorin looked at the high gates of Erebor, now closed to them – probably forever. A wave of despair washed over him as he thought of all the things they had just lost : home, shelter, safety... And the treasure, of course... The legendary treasure of Thror, the mighty King Under the Mountain... How could it be possible ? How could it happen so suddenly ? Without even a warning ? Yesterday everything was normal, everything was fine, and today... he glanced at the desolation all around him, at the brink of utter despair. Not far from him, a little girl was crying, her face smeared with soot a man was still clutching his sword uselessly and yelling curses at the dragon a pair of Dwarf women were hugging each other and over there, not far from a pile of blackened wood, Dwalin and Balin were talking softly to each other. They were both dirty and disheveled, but alive. Thank Mahal for this small mercy.

**« What do we do, now ? »** Dis asked her brother. Her tears had stopped, now, and she seemed to have recovered at least some of her usual determination.

Thorin sighed heavily.

**« We live, I suppose, »** he said wearily, and then suddenly a flare of boiling anger woke in him. **« We live, so that one day we can take back Erebor. We live, so that one day we can avenge our dead with Smaug's blood. »**

_And maybe we will even be able to kill that arrogant little Elf-king, at the same time,_ he thought bitterly. _The world would undoubtedly be a better place without Thranduil and his thrice-damned battle elk._

**« Did you see Father somewhere ? » **Dis asked worriedly, as she pulled away from Thorin to gaze at the people around them. **« And Grand-Father ? Did you see him ? »**

Thorin nodded slowly.

**« Yes, I... »** He cleared his throat, unsure about what he would say next. **« I found him in the vaults and I helped him to get out, but we got separated when the dragon smashed the wall of the Eastern Watchtower. »**

In truth, the King Under the Mountain would have died in a vain attempt to recover the Arkenstone, if Thorin had not dragged him away by force. But he didn't think his sister needed to know this piece of information right now. There would be more important matters to discuss before the end of the day, and anyways Thror's gold sickness would probably not be an issue anymore, now that the treasure was permanently out of their reach.

Dis sensed something was wrong with her brother, though, and she frowned suspiciously at him.

**« He is tough, and a skilled warrior, and I am sure he is still alive, »** Thorin said to reassure her. **« Let's go find him, and find Father. »**

She nodded bravely. She wiped away the last remnants of tears with her torn sleeve, and took a deep breath.

**« Let's find Father, » **she agreed.

* * *

><p>Among the haggard and bedraggled survivors, there was a young dwarf woman called Laurelin. She was the only child of a married couple of Dwarves who had devoted their lives to serving the royal family, in Erebor. Laurelin's parents had been humble and modest, hard-working and loyal folk, and the daughter had been raised, from her earliest childhood, to take up their trade once she would be old enough. But then the dragon had come, smashing their lives to pieces, and killing Laurelin's family in his fires. She could still hear their cries of agony, and see their faces twisting in pain every time she closed her eyes. The only member of her family who had survived was her old grand-mother, and both women clung to each other as if their lives depended on it. Laurelin was shy and reserved, and most of the time she enjoyed the peace and quiet of a solitary life. Her face was round, with soft cheeks and full lips, and big brown eyes framed with dark lashes but what made her really stand apart from the other women was the lack of beard. Her face was smooth as a baby's. She was also less heavy than most Dwarf-women, with a slender silhouette, which made her look more like an undersized Human girl than a real Dwarf.<p>

They had been driven off from Erebor three days ago. Laurelin and her grand-mother followed the other Dwarves as they all wandered aimlessly through the wilderness. The young woman was in pain her feet, not used to walk such long distances, were covered in bleeding blisters, and every muscle of her legs was aching. She had taken her last bite of food two days ago, and by now her stomach was growling loudly, her strengths dwindling with every passing hour. Since she hadn't taken any flask with her when she had fled Erebor – the dragon hadn't exactly waited for them to finish packing before he attacked – she could drink only hen they encountered some river on their way, and the water was not always the best quality. And Laurelin also had to support her grand-mother, pulling an arm around her waist to help her keep up with the other Dwarves' pace, and whispering words of encouragement into her ears. Her old age and her worn body made everything even worse, for her. Laurelin's heart filled with pity and dread every time she looked at her grand-mother, yet she did her best to hide her fears. Worrying about things she couldn't change would not help them.

She took a deep breath, steeled herself, and kept walking before the others were too far ahead.

When night came – yet another wet and cold night, sleeping on the bare ground, with no blanket to warm their shaking bodies – she couldn't sleep in spite of her exhaustion. Every time she closed her eyes, she kept seeing her parents again. She kept hearing their last words. _Get out of here,_ they had told her, without caring for their own safety. _Get out and don't look back, little one. Run. Save your life. _And she had run, her eyes filled with tears because of the smoke, her lungs burning as if she had breathed in fire. A few moments later, the ceiling had collapsed and her parents had been engulfed in a sea of roaring flames. She had wanted to turn back, try to save them, try to do something, but they had told her to run. Laurelin felt tears well up in her eyes as she remembered those dreadful memories. The pain was unbearable, as if someone had ripped her chest open to stab her straight in the heart. She had loved her parents so much. They had been a modest family, but neither the lack of money nor the low social status had ever been a problem to Laurelin they loved and supported each other during the hard times, and laughed together when life was more generous. They had been a happy, tightly knit family. Laurelin's mother used to kiss her on the forehead, and her father's eyes were shining with pride every time he looked at his beautiful daughter.

_And now there's nothing left of them - nothing but a pile of ash between the empty walls of Eerebor, and bitter-sweet memories that bring more pain than happiness._

She cried for a while, till her tears ran dry.

Next morning, they got up for another long day of hardship and privations. Laurelin did her best to smile at her grand-mother, and to be strong. The old woman had worked hard all her life, and lost everything at the evening of her existence. Laurelin was afraid for her, afraid to lose the last member of her family still alive.

The young woman knew she would eventually have to find work, to support them both. She was very young, and she had not yet completed her apprenticeship she still had a lot to learn about being a good servant, but she was brave and willing and eager to learn. Her parents had raised her in the respect of the royal family of Erebor, so it was very naturally that she thought about offering her services to young Prince Thorin, whom she admired greatly for having taken up the leadership after the fall of Erebor. While King Thror and his son Thrain had left the wandering Dwarves to negotiate some help from the Iron Hills, Thorin had stayed close to his people, leading them through this ordeal with courage and honor.

So when they decided to settle for the night in a small grove, she took her courage in both hands and decided to talk to the young prince. She sensed this was her true place, at the side of the last descendant of Durin's line. He had lost almost everything, as well, and Laurelin knew he would not be able to pay her full wages, but it didn't matter. She just wanted to serve him, like her parents - and their parents before them - had served Thorin's forebears it was her way to honour those who had brought her into this world, and to perpetrate the family traditions.

She waited for the hustle and bustle of the camp to calm down, then she walked over to Thorin's sleeping place as the night was slowly falling. But as she stood in front of the prince's tent, she suddenly hesitated. Who was she, to bother the Prince Thorin of Erebor ? A mere serving girl had no business asking favors from people so far above her in the social structure. And what if she made a fool of herself in front of Thorin ? That would be such an humiliation !

_Maybe I should leave, and forget about it, and consider a more realistic option to earn money._

Then she took a deep breath.

_Do it, or you'll regret it later. Don't be a coward._

As there was no door, she couldn't knock. So she just announced herself by clearing her throat loudly, then she opened the piece of crudely cut leather that hung in front of the entrance.

**« Prince Thorin ? »** she asked tentatively.

It was very dark inside, and at first she saw no one. Then, when her eyes had adjusted, she spotted two silhouettes inside. She recognized Thorin, and his sister. It made her nervous. She had expected to speak with him alone, but having to face two royal siblings would be even worse. Yet she had gone too far, now, to back down.

**« Enter, »** the Princess said gently. She was a typical Dwarf-woman short and stout, and as strong as a man. Along the line of her jaw she wore a soft black beard, the same black as her thick wavy hair. Her dress was worn and dirty, and all the jewels she used to wear in Erebor were gone, probably sold off to buy some food in one of the villages they had crossed.

Laurelin obeyed, and bowed respectfully in front of them, trying to look as gracious as possible in spite of her nervousness. Thorin was a very impressive man tall and strong, with broad shoulders and a deep voice. He said nothing when he saw her enter the tent, but he contemplated her from head to toe with his piercing blue eyes. She felt her cheeks grow very hot, but she forced herself to continue :

**« Prince Thorin, would you be as kind as to give me a few moments of your time ? » **she asked, biting her lower lips nervously.

Dis shot her brother a reproving look, then she answered in his place, once more.

**« Please, young lady, speak and we will listen. »**

**« Prince Thorin, Princess Dis... » **she started, looking frail and shy and sweet. Her voice was shaking a bit, but it was also filled with a certain tenderness. **« My name is Laurelin. Back in Erebor, my family and me we used to serve the Line of Durin, and now I would love to keep serving you as best as I can. I am aware of my young age and my lack of experience, but I pledge my life to you and I will do whatever is in my power to bring you a bit of comfort, day after day. I will do whatever you ask of me. And I am not asking for privileges or gold, of course, »** she added quickly. **« I just want to do what my parents taught me to do. »**

When she was finished, she lowered her head, unable to look Thorin in the eyes. She had to press her hands against her chest to keep them from trembling.

Thorin, probably surprised by this unexpected demand, crossed his arms over his broad chest. He was watching her intently, as if trying to size her up or to read her thoughts. It made her feel even more nervous. She was sure here legs would not be able to support her any longer. She took a deep breath, and talked about how her parents loved to work for the royal family, before Smaug's attack, and how it would make her happy if she were given a chance to prove herself. Then she talked, in a soft and sad voice, about her old grand-mother who was now too old to find work, and who relied solely on her grand-daughter to survive.

Once more, Thorin remained silent. Laurelin felt a tight knot in her stomach. _And what if he refuses ? What will I do, if he refuses ? Where will I find work, if he doesn't want me ?_

**« Will... will you accept my offer, Prince Thorin ? »** she insisted shyly, when the silence lingered. She had never felt so ill at ease before. She wanted to run away and hide herself in a dark corner, but she suddenly realized she couldn't move. She was paralyzed, like a frightened mouse in front of the snake that's going to eat her.

Thorin cleared his throat.

**« Young lady, I appreciate your devotion to my family, I really do, but unfortunately I will have to refuse your offer, »** he said slowly, looking sincerely sorry.

Laurelin's heart missed a beat as she realized Thorin just said the words she had feared to hear. He had refused her. She felt tears prickle her eyes, but she refused to let them run free. She didn't want to humiliate herself even further. But right then, when she was about to leave in shame, the young Prince's gaze softened up.

**« We have just suffered a terrible blow, »** he said in a deep, gentle voice. **« We are wandering the wilderness, ans we don't know what tomorrow will be made of. We... »** He looked around, at Lady Dis. **« My dear sister and me, we have lost everything, or close to. We are still alive, for now, but if we don't find a way to get back on our feet we may not last very long. I... don't even know how I am going to survive, when the snows of winter will start falling. If your work for me you will be under my responsibility, and your grand-mother as well since she depends on you – and I can't afford it. Not right now. »**

**« But I won't ask anything of you ! »** she exclaimed, without knowing where she got the courage to stand up to him like that. **« I just want to help you, Prince Thorin. Help you, and offer you my humble services during these hard times. »**

**« The answer is still no, young lady,** » Thorin replied. He looked genuinely sorry, but he was unyielding. **« Maybe some day, if our luck changes, I will be glad to hire your services. But right now I can't. »**

Laurelin felt her heart sink in front of such a staunch refusal. She kpet her eyes on the ground, trying to hold back her tears.

**« Laurelin ? »** It was Lady Dis who had spoken, with a smile that made her look very pretty. **«Would you mind waiting outside, while I speak with my brother ? »**

**« Of course, my lady, »** Laurelin replied, showing her the same respect as she did for Thorin. She bowed, and left the tent on her weak, trembling legs. The young daughter of Thrain was well known for having a strong and stubborn temper. _Maybe she will make Thorin change his mind ? Maybe there's still hope ?_

After a moment that seemed to last forever, to Laurelin, Lady Dis came out of the tent.

**« My brother did not lie to you. We don't have much, and therefore we won't be able to give you much, but we accept your offer with gratitude. Your presence and your services will be very welcome. » **Thorin came out of the tent as well, and was about to say something, but Lady Dis just frowned at him and gave him a threatening look. **« My brother and me are deprived of almost everything one needs to survive, but your situation is even worse than ours, and it is our duty to hold out our hand to those who have most need of our help and protection. »**

Her smiled was very welcoming, as well as the warmth in her voice.

Laurelin felt her heart melt with gratitude, and this time the tears in her eyes were tears of happiness.

**« Thank you, my Lady, » **she said from the bottom of her heart. She bowed deeply in front of her, before thanking her again and again. **« I promise you, my Lady, that neither you nor your brother will regret this decision... I will always do my best to be both useful and pleasant, and I swear in Mahal's name that I will never disappoint you ! »**

Then she left the tent to tell her grand-mother the good news. She had never felt so relieved.

Her life was worth living again.

* * *

><p>The red-hot iron hissed as Thorin plunged it into the bucket of cold water, releasing a cloud of silvery-white steam. When it came out of the water again, dripping wet, the horse-shoe had turned dark again. Thorin inspected it closely, and found no flaws. He threw it on the ground, next to the three others. He was done now, at last. The farrier could come and gather them whenever he wanted. Thorin wiped his sweaty brow with his hand, and slipped back into the stained shirt that hung from a nail in the wall. One of the sleeves was torn, but that was the least of his worries. He drank cold water from his goatskin, then he went to his next task. Nails. He hated doing nails. Tedious, boring work. And not very well paid, on top of everything else. But if he refused to do them, no one else would give him work anymore. Thorin hated working for the humans, and he hated that smelly, dark forge he was a prince, and it was humiliating for him to be reduced to such a base work - but he had no choice. If he wanted to earn some money to pay for food and shelter, he had not other choice but to accept grovelling at the Men's feet as if he were no more than some sort of lowborn scullion. He knew they were all laughing behind his back, mocking the homeless prince, the beggar prince who had been unable to defend his own kingdom against the enemy. Whenever this happened Thorin forced himself to act as if he didn't hear them. <em>Let them talk. Let them laugh. We are the proud Dwarves of Erebor, and one day we will reclaim our heritage, and then <em>we_ will be laughing while they crawl in font of us._

Every time Thorin's hammer hit the anvil, sending tiny sparks flying in every direction, he imagined it was Smaug's head he was smashing. Or maybe Thranduil's. For the despair he had felt during the first days had been replaced by anger, and by hatred. Those feelings burned in him day and night, making him feel as if his very blood was made of white-hot steel. His desire for revenge was the one thing that kept him going, day after day, in spite of the tragedy that had befallen him and his people.

_One day, Durin's folk will have their vengeance, even if it means the death of me,_ he vowed silently.

Shortly after the bells rang the mid-day, Laurelin came at the forge with a basket for Thorin, as she did almost every day. Within the Prince of Erebor found a small loaf of bread, a morsel of hard cheese and a tiny slice of cheap salted pork. He thanked her, and ate with the strong appetite of a man who's been working hard all morning. Then, when there was nothing left but a few crumbs, he grabbed his hammer again and resumed his work. Laurelin didn't linger, and returned home with the empty basket to finish her work there. Even if Thorin never said it aloud – he was usually sullen and silent, at the forge – he was very grateful for all the small attentions the young maid had for him.

When night came, Thorin was exhausted, and famished. He stretched his sore muscles, then he walked home they were currently living in a small countryside village, with shaggy little houses and farmyards. The streets were narrow and twisted, made of beaten earth as it had rained a lot during the last days, the ground had turned into an ankle-deep swamp, full of murky puddles. Thorin was glad to wear high boots, so at least his feet remained dry. They were worn after several weeks of wandering, but still good enough to protect  
>him, so far.<p>

When he reached the old shack that was his home, he was surprised to see the light of a candle inside, through the window. His sister Dis had left his side to live with her long-time friend Boraìn, a fierce but kind-hearted Dwarf that counted among Thorin's most loyal warriors Father and Grand-Father were in the Iron Hills, trying to negotiate with the Dwarves who dwelt there and Laurelin, who had decided to stay at Thorin's service when Dis left, was supposed to be in the forest with some other Dwarf women, gathering the death-of-moon flowers they would sell later for a good price. Since they only flowered under the light of the moon – most preferably during the days of full moon – they had to be picked up at night. Maybe the ladies had filled their baskets quicker than expected, and Laurelin was home already ?

Curious, he opened the door, and heaved a sigh of relief as he realized it was Laurelin indeed. She smiled curteously at him as she saw him, as usual. Thorin smiled back. Going into the forest at night was a dangerous business, and Thorin had disliked the idea of her being out there with only a couple of other women to protect her. Laurelin was young, barely old enough to be considered a grown woman Thorin felt protective towards her, because she had no other family than this old grand-mother of hers, and she was not as tough and hardened as Dis, or some of the other Dwarf-women. She was a shy and sweet little doe, lost in a world of hungry wolves. She could definitely do with somebody watching over her, and Thorin had taken up that rôle since there was no one else to do it.

**« Was the harvest of death-of-moon flowers good tonight ? »** he asked, as he removed his muddy boots in the entrance.

**« Excellent, »** Laurelin replied happily. **« We found a spot, near the broken well, where the ground was covered with them. It took us barely a few minutes to fill our baskets. We will sell them on the market tomorrow. If we are lucky, we will be able to sell them all and satisfy many clients. »**

**« I'm glad to know you will spend the night at home, safely tucked under your blankets, and not outside in the forest. The rumours say there's bears in that forest. And other beasts, too. Foul beasts. »**

**« I am safe, Prince Thorin, »** she said. **« And dinner is ready. » **She paused, then she added : **« Bears, Prince Thorin ? Are there really bears in the forest ? » **She was suddenly very pale.** « The other women and me, we had planned to go back in the forest tomorrow to pick up more flowers... We... What will we do, if we encounter any bears ? Do you think they will attack us ? »**

Thorin realized he had frightened her, now. He cursed himself.

**« I'll send Dwalin with you, if you want. He's more terrifying than any bear, and it should be enough to keep the beasts out of your way. »**

He chuckled softly as he imagined what would happen to any bear that would be foolish enough to attack the fierce, bald warrior. Laurelin gratefully thanked him for his offer. She immediately accepted the presence of the warrior, and his protection.

**« Dinner is ready, »** Laurelin repeated softly. **« You should eat, before it's cold. You need it. »**

**« Oh yes, dinner. I'm starving. »**

She led the way to the kitchen and Thorin followed, barefoot on the rough planking that covered the floor.

When Laurelin had offered her services to Thorin, after the fall of Erebor, he had first refused her. He had lost everything. His life had become a day-after-day struggle, and how could he possibly afford a servant if he didn't even have enough money to take care of his own self ? But Dis had made him change his mind she had welcomed Laurelin under their roof – as miserable as this roof was – and now Thorin realized his youngest sister had been right about everything, as usual. Having Laurelin at his side was a blessing. She was friendly, loyal and hard-working, in spite of her young age. Sometimes she was a bit awkward or clumsy, but this was probably due to her lack of experience. Thorin refused to blame her for it, or to shame her for her mistakes as some other Dwarf-lords did with their servants. She would learn with time, and in the meanwhile she did her best with what little they had.

**« What do we have for dinner, tonight ? » **he asked, as he heard his stomach growl loudly.

**« Rabbit stew with winter carrots and turnips, »** Laurelin answered. She plunged the wooden laddle into the heavy cooking-pot. **« And we have bread, too. As you like it. Black barely bread, with hard-baked crust. »**

Thorin smiled. He had mentioned only once, long ago, that he liked this sort of bread, but she had remembered it. She always remembered everything. It was something he liked about her.

She brought him his bowl, filled to the brim with meat and cooked vegetables.

**« Thank you, » **he said earnestly.

**« I... I wish you had something better for you, but the gold runs low in our pockets, these last days, and I couldn't... I tried to find something more refined, but the price was exorbitant, »** she said, lowering her head as if she were ashamed.

**« No, » **he interrupted her gently. **« This is better than what most of my folk will eat tonight. At least it's hot, and I will enjoy every mouthful of it. »**

She blushed a little, then she walked back to stir what was left in the cooking-pot. She was a good cook, and able to prepare rich, tasty meals even with the basic, cheap food they had to put up with. Thorin watched her standing near the cooking fire for a few moments, then he started eating heartily. The meat was hot indeed, and he cursed as he burned his tongue. This is for being so impatient, he chided himself. He took a gulp of cold beer, and since there was no other distraction, je watched Laurelin again while he waited for his meal to cool down. She had told him, on the first day, that she had already been in the service of the royal family of Erebor, before Smaug's attack – yet Thorin had never seen her before. She was pretty enough, with a round face, big brown eyes framed by dark lashes, and long brown hair that fell down her back in lovely curls, when it was not braided. Her cheeks were as smooth as a little girl's. No beard, just a very light peach fuzz, almost invisible, which was rather unusual and made her stand out among the other women. Thorin would have remembered her, if he had met her before, but all in all it was small wonder they had never seen each other before Erebor was an unending maze of cathedral-sized halls and chambers, and two people could roams its dark galleries for weeks and weeks without ever coming face-to-face.

**« Do you need anything else, Prince Thorin ? »** she asked when she was done in the kitchen.

**« A prince without a kingdom is not a prince anymore, »** Thorin reminded her bitterly. He had lost any claim to this title the day Smaug had taken everything from him. He was barely more than a beggar, now.

**« To me you will always be a Prince, »** she said with a shy smile, on a very respectful tone. **« Your kingdom may be lost to Smaug, but your people are still alive. They are Durin's folk. They are proud and fierce and loyal to the marrow of their bones. As long as they will live, they will always see you as a Prince in their hearts. Nothing can change that. You may not believe in yourself anymore, but they do. » **She paused for a short moment, then she continued in a small voice : **« I... believe in you. »**

Her eyes were on her feet, her throat tight.

Flattered by her words and her faith in him, he couldn't help but smile gratefully. He suddenly felt as if he had eaten something very warm that now spread through his chest, warming him from the inside.

The rabbit stew was good – simple, but good – and he silently thanked Mahal for having someone at his side, someone who knew how to make his life bearable during this exile, even if she was only a mere servant.

Laurelin didn't linger in the kitchen, and went to sit in front of the fireplace, on a thick sheepskin that she spread on the ground. In her hands there was a needle, and next to her a pile of worn clothes belonging to Thorin darning and mending clothes was not one of her best skills, but she liked doing it nonetheless. And she was still learning. With time, she would be just as good as any other woman. It was pleasant work, that required patience and meticulousness, and it was very relaxing after a long day of running about the house to do the chores. Every now and then, she took a bite of bred from the small loaf she had baked for herself, using the leftovers of flour from Thorin's bread. It was a poor meal for her hungry stomach, but it was all she could afford, so she made do with it. She forgot about everything else as she worked with the needle, and got lost in this quiet moment of peace, singing softly to herself. Thorin smiled as he heard her sweet voice, and once more he enjoyed having someone at his side. The house would have been cold and empty, without Laurelin's quiet and comforting presence.

**« Laurelin ? »** he asked gently, after a while. He didn't like interrupting her, but he had felt a twinge of guilt when he had compared his own plate with her poor little loaf of bread. **« There's plenty of rabbit stew left in the pot. Enough for you as well. »**

« I am fine, » she said softly. « My belly is full already, and I have no need for meat. » She had gotten used to small portions and plain food. Whenever they could afford something better, it was for her grand-mother, who needed it so much more than herself.

**« You're working hard all day long. You could do with something more consistent than just some bread. »**

**« I am fine, »** she repeated. **« I prepared this meal for you, Prince Thorin, not for myself. I want you to enjoy it. That's all I need. »**

Thorin almost insisted, but he realized it would have been useless. The young maid could be stubborn, in her own way.

When he was done with the meal, he sighed deeply. He was exhausted, and he wanted nothing but a few hours of sleep, but he knew he couldn't go to bed covered in soot and stinking of cold sweat. He was pleased to see that Laurelin had already prepared his bath of course, it had nothing to do with the grandiose baths of Erebor, with pools of black marble and hot water pouring out of the walls, directly from the underground springs. It was just a mere tub made of planks in which he could sit down, and to wash himself he had nothing but a block of cheap soap, but at least the water was at the perfect temperature. Laurelin had been quick to learn what he liked, and obviously she took great pride in keeping him as satisfied as possible all the time. It was wonderful to get rid of his dirty clothes, and even more wonderful to soak into the hot water. He scrubbed himself hard, and when he came out of the water again he was clean as a baby. He felt a different man. He felt alive again, and relaxed, aft such a hard day of work.

After drying himself, he slipped into the night clothes Laurelin had laid out for him. A long ample cotton shirt, on which the young serving girl had stitched the raven of Erebor. Thorin appreciated small attentions like that.

Once he was dressed, he went back to the main room of the house. Laurelin was not there anymore, so Thorin took her place in front of the hearth – not because he enjoyed the warmth of the fire, but because the crackling flames reminded him what had happened to his people when Smaug's fire had filled the air. All the memories of this dreadful day came back, stirring his anger and his hatred for those who had brought this fate upon Durin's folk. Every night, he took a few moments to hone his desire for vengeance, like a knight hones his sword.

Never forgive, never forget – this was his motto.

He startled when he heard soft footsteps behind him.

**« Your sister came by this afternoon. » **Laurelin said hesitantly, not sure whether she was bothering him or not. **« She said she needs to talk to you as soon as possible. She... I should have told you earlier, but I forgot. I'm sorry, Prince Thorin. »**

She lowered her head and started fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve.

**« There's nothing to be sorry about. »** Thorin reassured her in a gentle voice, his anger suddenly forgotten. **« My stubborn sister can wait a day or two, now that she has Boraìn to keep her busy. »**

Thorin saw that Laurelin was dressed to go outside. She was wearing a heavy woolen cloak over her old dress, and she had slipped her feet into her old leather shoes.

**« Good night, Prince Thorin. »** she said with an awkward bow, then she pulled the hood over her head.

**« Wait ! »** Thorin said, getting on his feet. **« It's cold outside. Why don't you come here with your grand-mother and enjoy the warmth of my hearth, for the night ? » **He knew both women lived in a small shack that threatened to fall into ruins. There was no fireplace there. It was cold, and damp, and full of icy cold drafts. It was no place for a young woman and her elderly grand-mother to sleep in.

**« I can't, Prince Thorin. »** Laurelin exclaimed, shocked. **« This would be so unbecoming, for us to invade your privacy like that. »**

Thorin stretched out his hand towards the fire.

**« There's room enough for the both of you here, where it is warm and dry. »** he said gently. **« If you don't do it for yourself, then do it for your grand-mother's sake. She is a respectable woman, is she not ? Don't you think she deserves such a small kindness ? »**

She hesitated, still looking very ill at ease.

**« This is... very generous of you, Prince Thorin. » **she said at last, with an uncertain smile. She didn't look up to meet Thorin's eyes. **« We will be glad to accept your offer, then. »**

Thorin watched her walk out of the door to fetch her grand-mother, then he decided it was high time for him to go to bed, too. He would have to get up early, next morning. He didn't look forward to another day at the smithy, yet he was glad he had found this work some of the Dwarves were now reduced to begging in the towns of men, while others survived in the woods like wild animals, relying only on the game they hunted to survive.

He slipped under the clean blankets, and fell asleep almost instantly.

A few hours later, though, he woke up when someone knocked frantically at his door. He jumped out of his bed, and almost tripped over Laurelin – or maybe her grand-mother – on his way to the door. When he opened, he saw Dis standing outside, disheveled and distressed.

**« Dwalin ! »** she said, breathless. Obviously, she had run from her home to Thorin's. Her cheeks were red, and tiny clouds of steam escaped her mouth with each breath. **« They attacked Dwalin, and two other Dwarves. A dozen men with sticks and maces. Two streets away from here. »**

**« Dwalin ? »** Thorin asked, feeling suddenly very cold inside.

**« Alive, »** Dis said. **« And the other two as well, although one of them has a broken arm. But more and more men are rising from their beds, now, and when they see the unconscious men, and Dwalin swearing like an angry bull all over the streets... They will blame it all on us, as usual. Thorin, we have to get out of here before they decide to drive us out of town with their spears. Quick ! »**

**« We'll be ready in a few moments ! »**

He returned inside, and saw that both Laurelin and the old woman were up, now. They had heard everything. They were already gathering their stuff, in all haste.

**« Get whatever you need in your house, and come back here. »** Thorin told them. **« Quick ! You heard my sister. We have to be out of her as soon as possible ! »**

Laurelin nodded. Her grand-mother left the house to gather what little possessions the two women owned, while Laurelin ran to the kitchens to pack everything she might need to accomplish her work during this new exile.

An hour later, all the Dwarves had left the village, and were now roaming the wilderness once more. The light of the full moon was guiding their steps some of them had ponies, others had rams or donkeys or even big dogs to pull their carts. The road was not good, full of potholes and puddles, and the were slow, but when the sun rose in the sky the small village was far behind them.

What followed was days and days of wandering, through valleys and hillsides, through forests and rocky flat lands. They found no other sign of civilization – no villages, no roads, nothing. Not even a shelter during the rainy, cold nights. They were wet and miserable, and exhausted beyond any measure, but somehow Laurelin was a real comfort to Thorin. She may be just a maid, but she did her duties with a smile on her lips, in spite of the hardship the mere fact that she had decided to stay at Thorin's side in spite of their present condition – in spite of the fact that he could no longer pay her for her services – meant she felt true loyalty towards him. He was both flattered and annoyed by this devotion, because he didn't feel like he deserved it.

After a few days, they ran out of food, and had to hunt to fill their stomachs. Thorin was not such a good hunter, but others were good enough with bows, and brought back boars and deers and wild hares for everybody.

A dozen days after they had left the village, Laurelin woke up ill one morning. Small wonder, Thorin thought. She was not the only one. Almost everywhere, Dwarves were coughing and breathing heavily, weakening with every passing day, slowing down their procession. Thorin was worried for his people, worried that some might not make it to the next village. The healers were doing their best, but soon they ran out of herbs and could do no more than encourage the sick Dwarves to stay warm – but how is one supposed to 'stay warm' when everything was wet ?

When they stopped for the night, Thorin went to see Laurelin. She was sitting on a wolf pelt, coughing and shivering, with her grand-mother at her side. She was pale as a ghost.

**« You will be up and about soon. »** Thorin said gently, as he knelt at her side. He sincerely hoped his words were not a lie.

**« I am fine. »** she replied, even if she looked anything but fine.

**« You're not a good liar. »** Thorin joked, and she smiled weakly at him. A slight blush colored her cheeks.

**« The healer Oin said she must rest, to recover her strengths. »** said the grand-mother, a worried look on her face. Her hair was graying, and the lines on her face were deep, but her eyes were still sharp and vivid.

**« There's nothing I can do about that. »** Thorin replied earnestly.** « We have to move on, if we don't want to die here, lost in such a forlorn corner of wilderness. »**

**« I know. »** the old woman replied sadly.

Thorin's gaze went back to Laurelin, then to Balin, who was coming in his direction. Hardship had turned his hair white, and his eyes sad. He looked pretty ragged, like everybody else.

**« They need you over there. »** he said. **« The hunters want to talk to you. Bad news, I guess. Their faces were grim, and their words harsh. »**

**« I'm coming. »** Thorin replied, and suddenly there was a tight knot in his stomach. Filled with dread, he got up to stand at Balin's side. **« Rest, now. »** he told Laurelin. **« We won't stay here for more than a few hours, so try to sleep while you can. You need it. »** Then he looked at her grand-mother. **« I will send someone to bring her a dry blanket, and some food. » **he promised.

The old woman nodded.

Thorin walked away with Balin, wondering what his people had possibly done to deserve such a fate.

First a dragon, and now this – by Mahal, why were the gods so cruel ?

What would befall them next ?


	2. ASSAULT

Night had fallen when Laurelin came back from the market. The moon was almost full, and its wan light guided the maid's steps as she walked through the narrow, cobbled streets of this new town. She was heading home – well, if the old wooden shack where they currently lived could be truly be called a 'home' – and she was enjoying the warmth of this pleasant night. The air full with the scent of flowers and cherry blossoms, while the crickets were singing loudly in the trees and bushes around her. They had been living here for several weeks now, enjoying a short rest from their endless wandering. A few weeks of quiet and stability, among men who were rather tolerant with Dwarves. This was as close to safety as they would ever get, Laurelin guessed.

The young servant had stayed out late, because she knew the last hours were the best moment to find good opportunities on the market, when the sellers are eager to get rid of what they hadn't sold during the day. She had found a few treasures, at a good price : dried black chanterelles to liven up the meat, a bottle of preserved pears, a small wheel of cheese, a bag of rye flour, and a few slices of dried beef, a meat they could not afford very often. As well as a few spices, too. She was quite proud of herself, and eager to prepare Thorin a good meal as soon as she would be back home. In her impatience, she decided to take the shortest road, the one that led past the sandstone quarry Thorin had forbidden her to take it, of course, and she didn't like the idea of disobeying him, but it would bring her back home – back to safety - more quickly than the other road. Besides, it was not that late, and there were still people out in the streets. No one would dare attack her with so many witnesses.

She felt a shiver of fear, though, when she saw a shadow move right next to her, then sighed in relief as she realized it was just a skinny, flea-covered feral dog.

She was barely two streets away from Thorin's home when two strong hands pushed her into a dark, narrow side-street. She fell on all fours into the mud, her heart hammering against her chest. Dwarves, she realized. Two Dwarves. One of them was very tall, with a shaggy pepper-and-salt beard and thick eyebrows, and his forearms covered in tattoos the second one was smaller, with dark red hair and a pointed face, and mean dark eyes. He was missing a finger on his left hand, too. They ripped Laurelin's basket out of her hands, and spilled its content on the ground. The bottle of preserved pears shattered into hundreds of tiny shards of glass.

**« No ! »** Laurelin shrieked, horrified. She didn't have enough money left to buy everything anew, and besides the stalls were now empty, the market closed. How would she explain to Thorin that there was nothing for dinner, tonight ? How could she come back home with empty hands ? And what would she say when he would realize she had disobeyed him by taking the forbidden road ?

One of the Dwarves – the nasty redhead – knelt in front of her, a mean smile on his lips. He looked at her the way a cat might look at a mouse, before devouring her. He sniggered when he saw the young maid so vulnerable on the ground, then he grabbed her chin with his four-fingered hand and forced her to look into his eyes.

**« You're a pretty little dove, aren't you ? »** His smile as he scrutinized her down from head to toe made Laurelin shiver.** « Maybe we can come to an agreement, you and me... »** He smiled widened, revealing a row of crooked white teeth. **« If you accept to be nice with us, sweetie, we will let you pick up your things – or at least, what's left of them. »**

He stepped on the pears, reducing them to a pulp, then he winked at his friend. The other one laughed loudly.

Laurelin was suddenly so terrified she couldn't talk, or move, or even think properly.

The tall Dwarf with tattooed arms grabbed her by the front of her dress and put her back on her feet, before closing his arms around her slender shape it felt like being hugged by a stinking bears. Laurelin tried to wriggle free of him, but he was strong as a bull. He tried to kiss her, but she turned her face away from him in disgust. Her reaction made him laugh even harder.

**« Me first ! »** the red-haired Dwarf bellowed, and he ripped her out the other one's arms again. He pushed her against the wall, so brutally he knocked the breath out of her lungs. The back of her head banged hard against the stone bricks. **« You're a servant, sweetie, aren't you ? »** he whispered into her ear, as he twisted her wrist to keep her from fighting back. «** You're supposed to please your masters, aren't you ? Do everything they order you ? »**

They both laughed once more, and tears filled Laurelin's eyes. She knew she was in a weak position. She had no chance against them. Panic rose in her. She opened her mouth to scream, but the red-haired Dwarf pulled a long skinning knife from his belt and put it against her throat.

**« If you scream, you're dead, **» he said sharply, and to prove he was not joking he pushed the point of the blade into her skin. A red droplet of blood appeared. He smiled, then he let the knife slide down to her cleavage, leaving an angry red line in its wake. **« One word, sweetie. One sound, and you will never see the light of the sun again. »**

Laurelin was petrified with pain and fear. She was crying abundantly, now.

The tall one slipped between Laurelin and the wall, and both Dwarfes pressed their bodies against Laurelin's small, trembling shape. He grabbed her hair from behind, and with a short knife he started cutting away the lacing of her bodice. Laurelin felt the man's hot and disgusting breath on her neck.

As soon as the bodice was open, the redhead grabbed it and threw it on the ground. He was standing in front of her his hands and his fingers were running all over Laurelin's body, over her budding chest and her waist and her belly. His ugly lips kissed first her throat, then her breasts he didn't seem to care about the blood that was slowly oozing out of the wound. He didn't even seem to notice it anymore. He was a beast, no more than a beast. Then his hands brutally tore Laurelin's skirt into ribbons, to bare her lower body. He sniggered as he watched her, then his hands groped her hips, and buttocks, her thighs. They were eager and brutal, leaving red marks on her white skin.

Laurelin had no strengths left in her all she could do was say no, please, no, leave me alone. She pleaded and she begged, but every time she made a sound the red-haired weasel slapped her, or twisted one of her wrists, while the big one pressed himself against her from behind. If she had been given a choice, Laurelin would rather have died in Smaug's fire than be humiliated and belittled like that. Such a shame was a hundred times worse than death !

When she finally pushed away the redhead's maimed hand, in a surge of desperate energy, he hit her so hard she tumbled on the ground again. She couldn't stop crying. They would rape her, she knew it. More than once, probably. She wanted to scream, but who would hear her ? Who would come ? Certainly not those Humans who considered Dwarves like an inferior race. No one would face the knives of two angry male Dwarves just to help a mere serving girl.

Laurelin heard them talk as they were towering over her, but she couldn't understand their words anymore. Vaguely, she saw them remove their clothing, before tearing away what little was left of her poor old dress. She curled up into a tight ball, and closed her eyes as she resigned herself to what she knew was inevitable. They had already grabbed her thighs, and were trying to get rid of her underwear, when suddenly she perceived an unexpected sound – the hooves of galloping horses. And they seemed to be coming her way. Maybe... Could it be... She dared not to hope, yet she couldn't hep it. Maybe someone is coming to help me, after all !

The horses suddenly stopped, so close Laurelin could see their hooves through her tears. She heard shouts. The tall Dwarf who had assaulted her cursed as he jumped back on his feet to meet the newcomers, and the voice that answered him sounded vaguely familiar to Laurelin's ears but she was too shocked, too distressed to recognize it right now. She startled as she heard a sword being drawn from its scabbard, and fear seized her again, and she hid her face in her hands. She didn't want to see, or to hear, or even to feel... She just wanted to disappear into the ground, and die. Yet when several moments passed and no one touched her again, she found the courage to look up again everything was blurry from the tears in her big brown eyes, but she made out several silhouettes standing all around her, some of them still on their horses. Among them, she recognized... Thorin.

_Is it truly him, or do my eyes deceive me ?_

She rubbed the tears away, and saw that she had not been mistaken. It was Thorin indeed, and felt relief wash over her. Maybe he would be good enough to make the two ugly Dwarves stop ? Laurelin watched him intently as he handed the reins of his pony to one of the other Dwarves who had come with him, while he held his sword Deathless against the chest of the tall Dwarf with the shaggy dark beard. Thorin looked utterly furious. Obviously, he was ready to use his sword, if need be. Behind him, three other Dwarf warriors, still on their ponies. Laurelin may have recognized them, if she had not been so distressed – but the fierce expression on their faces made it clear they were ready to jump into battle if one of the two miscreants would even so much as threaten Thorin.

Both assailants were now standing with their backs against the wall. The redhead's forehead was swollen and bleeding abundantly, and the tall one sported a big cut on his tattooed forearm Thorin had obviously given him a taste of Deathless.

Thorin gestured at one of his warriors.

**« Tie them up, and lock them in Horhaìn's cellar, »** he ordered sternly.

**« It will be done, Prince Thorin, »** the man replied dutifully. He dismounted, and pulled a rope out of his saddlebags.

**« I will deal with them tomorrow, once I have decided what to do with such a pair of filthy beasts. »**

The other man nodded briefly.

Thorin sheathed his sword again, then he knelt at Laurelin's side. He wrapped her in his cloak, to cover her nudity and grant her some dignity. He studied her briefly to check on her wounds he saw her bruises and her scratches, and the red line that went from her throat to her breasts. One of her lips was split open, too. Probably when the red-haired Dwarf had slapped her.

Laurelin turned her back on him, wincing and whimpering at the pain. She didn't want him to see her like that, so ashamed and humiliated. Her shoulders were shaken by violent sobs as she wrapped Thorin's cloak tightly around her.

After a few moments, she managed to get on her feet. With the rags of her dress, she cleaned the blood on her chest.

**« Your wounds need to be tended to. »** Thorin said, looking sincerely concerned and worried. **« I'm going to take you home. »**

She was shaking on her unsteady legs, but when Thorin tried to steady her she refused his aid. The touch of his fingers on her skin would have been unbearable, so shortly after the attack. Even his mere presence at her side was unbearable. She was so ashamed of herself had Thorin not forbidden her to take this road ? Had he not warned her ? But she hadn't listened, and now she had paid the price for her foolishness. She was dirty, bloody, and the food she had so lovingly bought for Thorin was scattered on the ground. Of course, the Prince had not rebuked her, openly so far, but his presence was a constant reminder of how stupid she had been. _And he's seen me lying on the ground, sobbing and half naked in the hands of those two monsters. He heard me beg. _This idea was sickening, and she suddenly felt like throwing up._ I will choke on my shame, and die of it. Yes, die of it. It will be easier than to keep living this life._

Yet on the other side, another part of herself felt reassured by the presence of the man who had just saved her Thorin was not only a Prince, but also a fierce and mighty warrior, and she knew no one would try to harm her while she was standing next to him. So in the end she allowed him to help her, and to put his hand on her arm to keep her on her feet, and she suddenly felt very strange as he touched her... for the very first time.

She tried to pick up the goods, but they were scattered in the dirt, now. The bag of flour had exploded, spilling its content on the cobbles, and the slabs of meat were now lying in a murky puddle, as well as the cheese and the dried mushrooms. There was nothing Laurelin could save. Nothing. New tears welled up in her eyes she tried to hide them by looking away from Thorin, into the opposite direction, but she soon realized it would not be enough - Thorin was not fooled by her pitiful attempts to keep some dignity. She pulled his cloak even tighter around her body, as if it were an armor that could protect her from all the evil things.

**« Thank you for the cloak. » **she muttered in a hoarse, feeble voice.

**« You're welcome. »** he answered kindly, which made her tear up again.

When they reached Laurelin's home, her grand-mother's eyes opened wide in shock when she saw the blood on the young maid. Thorin explained quickly what had happened, then the old woman took her grand-daughter in charge. She led her to the bed, and Laurelin docilely slipped under her blankets. She had no strengths left to defy anyone. Shortly thereafter, Thorin was back with the healer Oin, who opened his little chest full of medicines and unguents.

When the healer was done, Laurelin felt a bit better. Her wounds were now clean, and Oin had given her something to dull the pain. Her grand-mother was here, and soon the Lady Dis joined them as well.

**« Thorin thought that maybe the company of another woman would cheer you up. » **she said softly, and there was genuine concern in her eyes. She took Laurelin's hand in her own, but the young maid was so weak she could do no more than squeeze Dis' hand in response. Everything was blurry around her, so confused it was as if the other people around her were far away, in another world. She still felt those rough hands groping her, hitting her, hurting her... Fear turned her stomach into a tight knot of pain. Would she ever be able to forget this ?

When the Lady Dis left, Laurelin was left alone with her grand-mother. The old woman was horified, but full of sympathy for her sweet beloved grand-daughter. She prepared a kettle of hot herb tea, but Laurelin refused. She was sure she would not be able to bring anythong down her throat.

**« Drink. »** the old woman insisted.

Laurelin sighed, and drank – because obeying was easier than battling aginst her grand-mother. She recognized the very distinct taste of Carmely Leaf, mixed with verbena and camomile. For a fleeting moment, as she breathed in the scent, she felt like she was back in Erebor, safe, surrounded by her loving family, who had always watched over her.

Then it was all gone, and she had to face the bitter reality again.

**« I wish I was gone. »** she said weakly. **« With Mother and Father. I wish I had died with them, when Smaug unleashed his fire on Erebor. » **She felt herself drown in a bottomless sea of despair as the pain of losing her parents woke up again, as sharp as on the very first day. She missed them so much.

**« Don't say things like that. »** her grand-mother rebuked her in a gentle voice. **« You've just been through something terrible, but you are young and resourceful. You will come through, sweetheart. »**

**« But why should I ? »** Laurelin asked. Then, before her grand-mother could say anything, she continued. **« What's the point of going on ? What's the point of living, if life bring only pain and suffering ? I am just... I just feel so... » **She paused, and sighed again. **« Nothing. » **she said finally, because it was impossible for her to explain it with words when she couldn't even really understand what she was feeling herself.

**« After what's happened to you tonight, it is natural for you to be distressed, and shaken. But don't worry. You will feel better soon. »** She smiled.** « Drink, now. »**

Laurelin nodded and forced a smile on her lips, but deep down she knew her grand-mother was wrong... _I will never feel better again, never... _Everything was just so confused in her head... So messy... After a few gulps of tea, though, the Carmely Leaf started to be effective. It was a powerful sleeping draught. Laurelin felt her eyes close themselves. She didn't fight. She was relieved, actually, to be able to slumber into the oblivion of sleep, even if only for a few hours.

* * *

><p>As Thorin stood in front of the two Dwarves who had assaulted Laurelin, he remembered everything. He had been coming home from a trip to Oxenvale, with three of his most loyal warriors, when he had heard the shouts at first he had thought it was some quarrel between the two Dwarves, and he had decided he was too weary to intervene, but then he had heard the screams and the pleas of a woman. Only then had he understood what was really happening. Anger had flared in him, making him forget his weariness. He had kicked his pony's ribs so hard the little beast had burst into a swift gallop, and by the time he had reached the two brutes he had pulled his sword out. The other Dwarves had followed him, of course, giving them a clear advantage. One of the criminals, a mean Dwarf with a wild red beard and a missing finger on his left hand, had tried to flee, but one of Thorin's men had intercepted him and thrown him on the ground. His head had hit the hard cobbles of the road, and for a moment he had been so still everybody had thought he was dead. The second man, much taller – actually almost as tall as Thorin himself – had tried to fight back Thorin with a long sharp skinning knife, but he had neither the skill nor the strength to be a real threat for the young Prince. Soon they had both been under control, and Thorin had ordered his men to bind their hands, and to lock them in some dark cellar for the night.<p>

Then he had knelt beside the victim... and he had recognized Laurelin. She didn't look like the sweet, proper little maid that worked for him anymore she was bloody and sobbing, filthy and disheveled, her clothes in ribbons around her half-naked body, but there was no doubt it was Laurelin. It had been such a shock, to him, that he had frozen on the spot, as if his very blood had turned into ice.

Laurelin.

What had they done to her ?

She was bruised and battered, and there was a long bloody line going from her throat to breasts, probably made by skinning knife. He had been horrified by what they had done to her – such a sweet, devoted, gentle young woman. How could anyone want to hurt her ? How, for Mahal's sake ? How evil and twisted must you be, to do something like that ? And they would have done even worse, Thorin was sure, if he had not come to her help. They would have used her, and once they were done with her they would have discarded her like an old rag – or maybe even killed her. Thorin didn't even want to think about that. He had covered her with his own cloak, before helping her to walk home, but the shame and hurt in her eyes had made him cringe. He had wondered if she would ever recover, or if this would haunt her for the rest of her life.

And now he was standing in front of those ugly criminals, and he felt himself boiling with black anger. He was furious not only against them, but also against himself. They had been with him from the very first day, when Smaug had destroyed everything Thorin had talked with them, even eaten with them on occasions, after a particularly good hunt. Yet he had not been able to see who they truly were. He had not realized what beasts were hiding behind their eyes. He had seen nothing, and now Laurelin had paid the price for his own mistakes. He would have loved nothing more than to kill them both – right here, right there , in the dark cellar, to make them pay for Laurelin's blood and tears... Her shame... She had said nothing, she had not complained, but Thorin had seen the shame in her teary eyes. The way she had looked away from him... They was she had tensed up when he had tried to help her...

_Calm down,_ he ordered himself. _Remember what Father always says. A king must rule with his reason, not with his passions. If you let your feeling get the upper hand on your reason, you will take decisions you might regret later._

Thorin's eyes stared at the two criminals.

**« The dragon stole our mountain and our treasures. »** he said sternly, trying to look impassive. **« The Elves refused to help us. The Dwarves of the Iron Hills won't assist us either. And the men despise us. We are alone. We are on our own. We can count only on ourselves. Don't you think that life's hard enough as it is ? Why do you need to make everything even worse by acting like beasts ? »** He had talked in a deep and threatening tone, very slowly, without raising his voice - but he had spat the last word at them with anger, as if it were poison. **« We need to help each other, and not destroy each other by inflicting unnecessary pain. We are the folk of Durin, and we are proud and honorable Dwarves. We do not behave like monsters. » **He paused to plunge his piercing eyes into those of the first man, then the second one. **« You do not deserve to belong to our folk anymore. »**

The cowardly redhead recoiled, and hit the wall behind him. But the tall one looked defiantly back at Thorin.

**« We just wanted a lil' bit of fun after a hard day's work. »** he said, in his growling voice. **« Why do we have to make such a fuss about a lowborn lass ? She's just a nothing. »**

Thorin unsheathed his sword, and put the tip on his blade to the Dwarf's throat. He felt a strong urge to push it into his throat.

**« Lowborn or highborn doesn't matter. »** he declared. **« A person's worth is not determined by the amount of gold in her parent's pockets. »** He thought about Laurelin, always there for him, always loyal, never asking anything back. The mere idea that someone could call her 'a nothing' was repulsing. **« Besides, the young lady is in my service. She's working for me. She was under my protection. By affronting her, you are affronting me, too. »**

The Dwarf sniggered loudly.

**« In your service, my king ? » **He bared his teeth in something that might have been an evil smile, but it made him look like a dog who's about to bite**. « Oh, that's why you're so keen on defending her, aren't you ? You want her all for yourself, my Prince, am I right ? She must be quite something, in bed, for you to defend her like that ! »**

He laughed again, but Thorin reacted as quick as a lightning bolt. His blade broke the skin of the other Dwarf's throat. A tiny droplet of red blood slid down the white skin of his throat, before being sucked in by the hem of his shirt.

**« Keep your mouth shut, or I'll shut it for you. »**

**« Why else would a prince get so angry because of a worthless servant ? »**

Obviously, the filthy dog had decided to play the game of provocation to the very end. _Very well. Let him play. Let him spill his poison. I don't care._

Thorin would not react to his smutty assumptions. Only a foul mind could come up with such disgusting ideas.

**« Our laws are very clear, » **he continued, as if he hadn't heard what the man had just said. **« Raising a hand on another Dwarf, and drawing his blood – for whatever reason – is a crime that will be... »**

**« We are not in Erebor anymore ! » **the tall shaggy Dwarf interrupted him. Thorin had never seen such impudence. **« Such laws have no reason to exist anymore ! We are in the wild, now ! It's every one for himself, now, and those who are unable to protect themselves do not deserve to live ! They slow us down and they eat up all the food ! They are weak and they will make us all weak, if we let them ! »**

**« It is not a matter of place, but a matter of honor. » **Thorin said, his voice as sharp as a whip. **« And you both have none. »**

**« So what are you going to do about it ? »** the other one retorted. **« Kill me ? »** He spat on the ground, at Thorin's feet. **« You're not even a prince anymore. »**

In a flash of anger, Thorin hit him hard with the hilt of his sword. He fell on the ground, knocked out. His mean friend squeaked.

**« Please, my lord Thorin ! »** he begged. **« I meant no harm ! I never wanted to hurt her ! It was him ! Only him ! He cut her open with his blade, and he hit her, but I didn't do it ! I didn't raise my hand on her ! I never hurt her ! »**

It was obvious, to Thorin, that this was no more than a tissue of lies. The cowardly Dwarf would have said anything to avoid punishment.

**« You tried to force yourself on her ! »**

**« N... not really. »** he said. **« I was sure she enjoyed it ! »**

**« She said no, and she cried, and she begged you to stop ! That is not my idea of 'enjoying' something ! »**

**« Please ! We didn't mean no harm ! »**

**« Enough ! » **Thorin barked. He was getting tired of this. He wanted it to end. **« As soon as you get out of here, you will be marked as a criminal, so that all the Dwarves you will meet in your future will know you for what you truly are. »** The cross on his cheek, burned into his skin with red-hot iron, would make a pariah of him, in each and every kingdom of Dwarves, to the last of his days. Nothing would ever be able to wash the mark away. Nothing would ever be able to restore him to favor. It was no more than he deserved.

**« No, please ! No, my lord Thorin ! Please ! »**

Thorin towered over him, making him look even smaller than he was.

**« Keep that ugly mouth of yours shut, or I will throw you in the gutters of this city, like your little friend over there. »** Thorin nudged the unconscious Dwarf with the tip of his boot. **« The thieves and the cut-throats will take care of him. He will never hurt any woman again, I swear it in Mahal's name. »**

He walked away before the other Dwarf could add anything else. Then he walked out of the cellar he exchanged a few words with Dwalin and the three other Dwarves waiting outside, to tell them what they were to do with the prisoners, before climbing the stairs. He welcomed the light of the sun, outside, as well as the fresh breeze of wind on his face.

He decided to go and see Laurelin. She was not at her house, but Thorin was found her in his own house. It surprised him – why the hell was she not abed, to recover from her ordeal ? What was she doing here ? And her grandmother was there as well. She was the one who opened the door.

**« Prince Thorin. »** she said, bowing. **« I tried to reason her. »** she said apologetically.** « I tried to convince her to go home and rest, but she refused. But maybe you will have more influence on her. She is so devoted to you... »**

**« How is she ? »** he asked her gently.

The sad look on the old woman's face was eloquent enough. Thorin felt another pang of anger, immediately followed by pity as he saw her standing in the kitchen so dejectedly she was trying to prepare the meal, with fat tears running down her cheeks, and her eyes were as empty as if there was no soul behind them anymore. Her moves were slow, clumsy, uncoordinated. She was wearing a worn dress that was too long and too wide for her, and Thorin recognized it as coming from Dis' wardrobe. The young maid was no more than the shadow of her usual self. She startled when she heard Thorin's footsteps behind her, like a frightened mouse.

**« Dinner will be ready soon. »** she announced in a toneless voice, without looking at Thorin.

He watched her. He had never been in this situation. He couldn't even fully understand how, or what, she felt. He didn't know how to react in front of her pain.

**« Would it not be better for you to rest ? »** he asked, very softly, to be sure she would not take it as a rebuke. **« You are wounded, and you need time to heal. Oin said... »**

**« I am fine. »** she interrupted him in the same lifeless tone.

**« No, you're not. Laurelin. You need to take care of yourself. »**

**« My job is to take care of you. And I lost... They threw everything into the mud, all the things I had bought for you – with your gold – and now... »**

He grabbed her under the chin with two fingers, very softly, almost tenderly. He made her look up at him. She closed her eyes, and more tears welled up under her closed lids.

**« I promise you that I will never let anyone hurt you again. »** he vowed with genuine compassion, and he truly meant each of these words.

When Laurelin heard this unusual softness in Thorin's deep voice, she found the courage to open her eyes again, and to watch him for the first time since the attack. She was suddenly uncertain did he truly care for her ? Did she really matter, even if only a little, to this mighty prince ? She was frozen with doubt as she watched her own reflection in his blue eyes.

**« I am... I'm nothing. »** she whispered through her tight throat. **« I am no more than a maid. There are so many others... better than me... more worthy than me... They... » **Then she cringed, because talking was waking the pain of her cut lip. She felt the coppery taste of blood on her tongue. **« I feel as if I were no more than a mere object... no better than this table, or this cooking pot... I'm just... »**

She never finished that last sentence. It was too much. She just resumed her cooking, and looked away from Thorin again. _I shouldn't tell him all theses things. He's a prince. He's got better things to do than listening to my whining._

**« Laurelin... »**

There was such a deep sadness in his voice, as he called out her name, that Laurelin forgot – for a brief moment – about anything else.

She was about to say something, when someone knocked at the door. When her grand-mother had opened it, she heard Balin's polite voice coming in from outside.

**« I'll be right back. » **Thorin told her, looking stricken. It was obvious he didn't want to leave her right now, but he left her anyways. He was a Prince, and he could not refuse his advice or his help to the other Dwarves who needed him.

She was suddenly alone again in the kitchen. Since the stew was ready, she put it off the fire, and onto the table. Thorin was still talking with the white-haired Dwarf, so she went to the living room and sat in front of the fireplace, her back against the pile of wood, on the old sheepskin they used as a saddle pad when they were traveling with the ponies. She was exhausted, but also terribly afraid to fall asleep and to have nightmares, as she did the night before, right after the attack. She grabbed Thorin's cloak, and wrapped it tightly around her it still smelled of him, and it made her feel safe. He was, after all, the man who had saved her from these brutes. And the knowledge that Thorin would soon be back into the house, so close to her, was a very pleasant thought as well. Maybe it would even be sufficient to keep the bad dreams at bay.

When Thorin closed the door behind Balin and Laurelin's grand-mother, who needed to go home, he saw Laurelin sitting there in front of the fire, her face bathed by the dancing light of the flames. He smiled at her, and the young maid was grateful for that smile. Something nice and good before facing the terrors of the night.

**« Your meal is ready, Prince Thorin. »** she said, feeling a bit better than she had before.

He nodded slowly, then he went to sit at the old oaken table, where the food was waiting for him. Wrinkled and shriveled potatoes from last year, some bits of pork meat from yesterday, and small loaf of bread. Since everything she had bought for Thorin had been squandered, she had taken food from her own pantry to prepare his meal, and she had paid to bake the bread in the baker's oven with her own money. She had left enough to feed her grand-mother, but Laurelin herself had eaten nothing.

Thorin started to eat, and Laurelin relished the sounds of his fork against the earthen bowl. It was familiar. It meant safety.

But barely a few moments later, he got up again. Surprised, Laurelin looked up at him.

**« Prince Thorin, is there a problem ? »**

**« Yes, there is. »** he admitted. He walked over to the fireplace, and put the bowl in Laurelin's hands. **« You have more need of this than me. » **

**« No. »** she said. **« I can't accept. I made it for you. »**

**« I am your prince, and you are my maid. You are supposed to do everything I order you, are you not ? »**

**« Y... Yes, Prince Thorin. I am. »**

**« Good. »** he smiled. **« Because I order you to eat, and to finish his bowl, and to put yourself first for a few days. Can you do that ? »**

She was so surprised by this unexpected demand that she was at a loss for words. She stared at him wide-eyed as he walked to his bedchamber. The bowl was hot in her cold hands, and the smell of food suddenly made her realize she was hungry indeed.

Two hours later, Thorin was sitting at the table, reading the letter Balin had given him earlier. It came from his father. He was still in the Iron Hills, and would probably stay there for a few more weeks. Thorin wasn't surprised Dwarves were stubborn and often churlish when it came to parting with their gold, and trying to wring even a handful of coppers out of them was always delicate. Thror and Thrain would need time to convince the Iron Hills to give them what they so desperately needed.

While he was reading, he also watched Laurelin from the corner of his eyes. The young maid was still sitting at the same place, next to the fire, but at least she had eaten. Thorin's stomach was grumbling, but he was still convinced the food was better in her belly than in his own. She had just been through a horrifying ordeal, she needed strengths.

When the night grew late, Thorin felt his eyes prickle with sleep. He watched Laurelin, who hadn't moved at all and was still sitting with her back against the pile of wood. Her eyes were half closed. She was probably eager to go to bed and sleep, too, but too terrified to go out alone, at night, after what had happened. Thorin felt a new wave of pity for her.

**« Laurelin, do you want me to walk you home ? »** he asked in a soft voice.

She startled when she heard him talk.

**« Prince Thorin ? I'm sorry, but... Did you say something ? »**

**« Do you want me to walk you home ? »** he repeated patiently.

**« I don't want to bother you, Prince Thorin. » **she replied in a sleepy voice.

**« It doesn't bother me. » **he assured her, his a kind and caring voice.

She hesitated, then she got up at last. She was still wrapped in his cloak. Thorin found it amusing that she had chosen one of his own garments to cover herself with a blanket would have been more convenient, but obviously she was content with the cloak. He didn't even try to understand why. Women were strange creatures – his sister Dis had proven it numerous times – but anyways he felt oddly pleased as he watched Laurelin. She looked small and frail, underneath that thick, heavy cloak. Almost like a child. More than ever, he wanted to protect her. To keep harm away from her.

**« Let's go ? »** he suggested.

She nodded, but Thorin felt her reluctance.

**« Is there a problem ? »** he asked, worried. **« You... I understand you are afraid to go out, but I am here now. And no one will hurt you, Laurelin. »**

She blushed, and her eyes suddenly shone with something he couldn't quite determine – tears ? Emotion ? Fear ?

**« It's... it's nothing. »** she stuttered weakly.

Thorin felt the urge to put an arm around her shoulders, as he would have done with sister if he had seen her distressed, or to comfort a crying child - but he refrained himself. After what those two brutes had inflicted her, she would probably be frightened by the touch of any man, and the last thing he wanted was to make her even more uncomfortable.

**« Prince Thorin, I... Could I... »** She blushed again, and lowered her eyes as if she had suddenly found something very interesting on the ground. **« Could I stay here, maybe ? »** she said at last.

Thorin was not sure he had heard correctly.

But she insisted.

**« I feel safe, here... It's just... I feel safe... with you... I feel safe when I know you are close... »**

She was still looking at her feet.

Thorin, puzzled, didn't know what to answer. This was so unexpected. So bizarre.

**« I see no reason why you couldn't stay, if this is really your wish. »** he answered at last, in an uncertain voice.

**« Thank you. »** she said gratefully **« Thank you, Prince Thorin. »**

For the first time since the attack, Thorin saw life shining in her brown doe-eyes.

She returned on her old sheepskin at once, and sighed in relief as she settled comfortably there, in the warmth of the hearth, wrapped in Thorin's heavy cloak. She needed no more than that to be contented. She closed her eyes, as if to better enjoy the peace of quiet of this moment. Thorin watched her in silence for a while, to be sure she was fine, then he went to bed after wishing her a good night.

_She is stronger than she looks,_ Thorin realized. _She is down, she is hurt, but she will get up again, eventually. They didn't break her._


	3. AZANULBIZAR, PART 1

The day had barely started, but Laurelin could feel today would be different from all the other days. There was something... something in the air... something in the attitude of all the Dwarves gathered inside... In truth, it was a bit frustrating for her to be out there, pacing up and down while she waited for them to be finished, not knowing what they were talking about. The King Under the Mountain, his son Thrain and his grand-sons Thorin and Frerin had met at the earliest hours of dawn, and later they had been joind by the Lady Dis and her husband Boraìn. Something important was happening, Laurelin knew it, even if she didn't quite understand what. She sighed and leaned her back against the wall.

Twenty-nine years had come and gone since Smaug had stolen the mountain from the Dwarves. Twenty-nine years of endless wandering, going from town to town, from city to city. Twenty-nine years of danger and hardship and uncertainty. Twenty-nine years of being mocked and shunned, never welcome anywhere. The plump, cheerful Dwarves of Erebor had turned into hardened, bitter survivors. Laurelin was still working for Thorin, and by now she knew him by heart one look was enough for her to know whether he was in a bad mood or in a good mood one look was enough for her to know exactly what he needed. Sometimes, they didn't even have to talk, because they understood each other without a word. There was something reassuring in this relationship life was hard and chaotic for both of them, but this was something they could rely on. Perhaps the only steady thing in their existence. Of course, there had been a few cheerful events, too, during those twenty-nine years. The Lady Dis had married her love Boraìn, and had later given birth to two healthy boys Fìli, the eldest, was now a mischievous toddler, while Kìli – the youngest – was no more than a wailing baby with a tuft of dark hair on his head. While Laurelin waited for something like that to happen to her as well, she enjoyed the company of the lady and her sons, but not as much as she enjoyed Thorin's company. She liked how protective he was, always worrying too much for her, always so tall and strong, always ready to stand between those who talked – or acted – rudely to her. One day, one of Thorin's best fighters had said something very offending to Laurelin, out there in the streets – a word that made her blush with shame, implying ugly things that didn't exist between her and Thorin. And Thorin had overheard it. He had been furious, and he had lectured the man about the respect he owed Laurelin, and later the Prince had offered the maid his most sincere aplogies for the man's crude words, as if it were his own fault. She had felt very touched, because most Dwarf-lords wouldn't even have bothered defending her they would have favoured the strong warrior over the shy and worthless maid, but Thorin was not like that. And after this day, Laurelin had taken even more pleasure in working for him. Seeing him smile as he ate the dinner she had just prepared, or hearing him thank her after she had worked hard for him, were the daily rewards that made her smile in spite of the harshness of their lives.

When Laurelin heard the footsteps inside coming towards the door, she straightened up, ready to greet them all.

The first to come out was Thror, the King Under the Mountain, closely followed by his son Thrain. Laurelin bowed deeply and respectfully in front of them, but they didn't even seem to notice her, as if she were no more than a shadow. She was used to their indifference, by now, and it didn't affect her anymore. The next to come out was Lady Dis she smiled at Laurelin in passing, but the maid thought she looked rather pale. Was she tired, maybe ? With two young children to care for, her days and her nights were probably very chaotic. Her husband walked at her side, with an arm around her waist. He was a handsome Dwarf with blond hair and blue eyes, his beard adorned with many braids, but he didn't give Laurelin more than a quick glance.

The last to come out was Thorin. He smiled at Laurelin.

**« I will come home late, »** he announced. **« Don't bother preparing a meal. Try to rest for a few hours. You need it. »**

**« I am fine. »** she said, but she knew Thorin was not fooled by her lie. _He knows I am tired. He sees me working from dawn to dusk every day, sometimes even late into the night. He knows I am helping the midwive of the village every time a baby is delivered somewhere in town, and he knows I am tending a garden of my own to sell the vegetables on the market. _

In truth, Laurelin was not just tired – she was exhausted. Even when she just woke up, she was already exhausted. She had dark circles under her eyes, yet there was no other choice for her. She needed the money, particularly now that her grand-mother was sick. The old woman needed medicine every day, to dull the unbearable pain of her worn body.

**« You won't be able to keep up like that forever. »** Thorin told her, and she was touched by his concern.

**« Yet I have to. » **she said, and suddenly she felt her throat tighten up. She wanted to cry, but she knew it would have made her look ridiculous. Each and every Dwarf she knew was facing difficulties, and some had it even worse than Laurelin. Weeping would not solve anything.

Thorin's eyes met hers, and he smiled.

**« If we succeed in our plans, maybe our lives will be easier again. **» he said slowly, his eyes shining with hope.

**« Your life, maybe, but not mine. »** she said, lowering her gaze. She remembered life in Erebor, and she remembered how her parents had toiled every day of their lives, with very few pleasures or satisfactions to cheer them up. No matter what would happen, no matter where they would go, the young maid knew her fate would be no different from theirs.

**« We will talk about this another time. » **Thorin promised her. **« For now, I need to join my father and my brother. »** He made a few steps, then he stopped and looked over his shoulder at Laurelin. **« Rest. » **he repeated.

**« Yes, Prince Thorin. » **she answered in a formal tone.

Then she bowed, and went back to the work that was awaiting her. She knew very well she would not obey him if she didn't have duties with Thorin for the rest of the day, she would still have to weed the garden and to harvest the potatoes before they started rotting. Such work couldn't wait. There would definitely be no rest for Laurelin today.

* * *

><p>When Thorin went back home, at last, he was completely exhausted. They had spent the rest of the day – and most part of the night – gathering the warriors and making battle-plans together. Dwarves were loud and rowdy creatures, stubborn and quick to anger, always bickering among themselves about the most unworthy details ; getting them all to listen and to agree with each other had been strenuous. Dwalin, of course, had been enthralled by the idea of taking up his battle-axe again, and Bhoraìn had been eager enough, too, even though he didn't like the prospect of parting with his beloved family. But the most enthusiastic of them all had been Frerin ; as a second son, he had always felt a bit left out, as if less important to the King's eyes as his eldest brother, and he yearned to prove he was just as worthy as Thorin – and a battle was the perfect opportunity to do so. Thorin himself liked the idea of taking their lives back into their own hands. If they could reconquer the halls of Moria, they would have a home again. A place to call their own. No more begging, no more working in filthy forges for Men who despised them.<p>

When he opened the door, he saw Laurelin sitting in front of the fire, as usual. Her long brown hair was unbound, and her feet bare. She was pretty, in spite of her beardless face, and – not for the first time – he wondered how long it would take till some man enraptured her heart and drove her away from him. He didn't like the idea of her leaving, even if he knew it was inevitable.

Annoyed by these unpleasant thoughts, he pushed them aside. There would be time enough to think about it later.

**« Laurelin ? » **he called softly. She turned around, and welcomed him with a polite smile.

**« Is there anything you need, Prince Thorin ? »**

**« Yes, please. »** he told her. She got up, and joined him at the entrance of the house while he removed his dirty shoes. **« I will have great need of your help, during the next days. »** He shoved his shoes into a corner, then he pulled a piece of parchment out of his pocket.** « Here, Laurelin. I will need all these supplies, as soon as possible. How long do you think it will take you, to gather everything ? »**

She took the piece of paper, gave it a quick look, and shoved it into her pocket. She was slightly flushed, but her face was expressionless_._

**« Yet I don't want you to roam the streets on your own. »** Thorin continued. He hadn't forgotten what had happened last time, so many years ago. He had almost lost her, that day. He would never let it happen again. **« You will be accompanied by Oin – he's a healer, but he also knows how to fight, if need be. He'll be able to protect you, and to give you good advice on the goods you will have to buy. »**

**« We will need a few days, I think. » **she replied in an uncertain voice, clearly ill at ease. **« I will do my best to satisfy you. » **she assured him with a confident smile, and Thorin knew it was not just en empty promise. She _always _did her best to satisfy him.

Thorin grabbed the purse that was hanging on his belt, and he pushed it into Laurelin's hands. It was filled wit coins – almost everything Thorin had managed to save during their exile – and it was very heavy.

**« This should be enough. »** he said. **« And if there's any gold left after you have bought everything I need, please keep it for your own use. I have heard your grand-mother is sick, and she needs medicine. Only gold can buy medicine. »**

**« Prince Thorin ! »** she exclaimed, shaking her head. **« I just can't... You need it too... »**

**« You can, and you will. »** Thorin insisted gently. He didn't understand why it was so hard for her to accept a well-deserved kindness. Was it pride ? Was it shame of being poor ? Or maybe something else ?

She sighed, and nodded. But then she suddenly looked up at him, worried.

**« Prince Thorin, can I ask you where you are going ? I've heard rumors on the market... Rumors about... about war... »**

Thorin sighed, slightly annoyed at how fast gossip had spread around town. Grand-Father and Father had insisted on keeping all this as secret as possible, to avoid unnecessary panic and anguish amongst the Dwarves who would stay behind – yet one of the warriors had talked, obviously. Thorin wished he knew which one of them.

**« Yes, we are leaving for war. »** he admitted wearily. There was no point lying to her. **« But do not look at me with such terrified eyes, young lady. »** he chided her softly. **« We plan to reconquer the Moria, yes. We plan to kill the Orcs who live there, yes. What you have heard is true. We... »**

**« Orcs ? »** she interrupted him, before realizing how impolite that was. **« I'm sorry, »** she added hastily, her face suddenly very pale. **« I didn't mean to be rude. But... Orcs ? Really ? It will be... it will be dangerous, then... ? »**

**« Do not worry. »** he reassured her.** « The scouts who just came back from Khazad-Dûm told us there are only very few Orcs left there. Most of the halls are dark and empty, and only a very reduced garrison is guarding the place. They won't give us much trouble. »**

**« But there will be a battle. »** Laurelin insisted. **« They won't just run away when they see you come. They will fight to death... »**

Sweet little Laurelin, always so worried for the others...

**« They will be outnumbered, Laurelin, and we will break through their defenses like a hot knife into butter. »** She didn't seem convinced, so he continued. **« You have seen the King. Have you seen my father, and my brother, and all the other warriors who will be fighting with us ? Have you seen Dwalin ? Do you really think there is any force in this world that could possibly destroy them ? »**

**« Yes, I have. » **she replied.** « The day Smaug conquered Erebor. » **she added very softly.

He hadn't expected that response, although she was right.

**« It is not a dragon we are going to fight in the Moria, but only Orcs. It is easy for a well-trained warrior to kill Orcs. »**

**« Really ? » **she was still doubtful.

**« We will be back before any of you here will have time to miss us. »** he joked feebly.

Of course, some Dwarves would not come back. Battle – even an easy battle – always meant at least a few deaths. Besides, there might be other things lurking in the bottomless abyss of the Moria, foul things no one wanted to face. But Thorin mentioned none of this to his young maid. He didn't want her to be plagued by nightmares every night till they came back.

**« When will you leave ? » **she asked. There was still fear in her voice. He hadn't succeeded in reassuring her.

**« Ten days. » **he replied. **« This will give us a few days to prepare. Our swords are rusty, and our arms are now more used to wielding a hammer than a weapon. I will need your presence, during those ten days, Laurelin. Not only to buy the goods on my list, but also to pack my things and make sure everything is loaded properly on the wagon. And you will have to take care of my pony, too, if it's not too much to ask. I know you already work hard. I don't like asking even more of you, and I wouldn't do it if I ****had any other choice, but I don't. And besides - once I'm gone you will have time to rest for a while, and to spend time with your grand-mother, who needs you at her side. »**

**« I will do whatever I can to help you. »** she said, smiling. She didn't mind feeding the pony and cleaning his stall. She loved animals.

**« If we reconquer the halls of Khazad-Dûm, we will have a home again, Laurelin. A true home. And hope. It will be the start of a new life, for all of us. Everything will be easier. » **He looked at Laurelin's poor hands, rough and callused from work. Black earth from her garden was incrusted under her nails. The circles under the maid's eyes were darkening every day, making her look exhausted even in the morning. No one should endure so many hardships at such a tender age, Thorin reflected sadly.

**« It will be easier for you, Prince Thorin, because you are part of the royal family, but for me nothing will change. » **she pointed out once more.** « I will still be a maid, and my grand-mother will still be... sick. **»

_She almost said dying,_ Thorin realized. She knows her grand-mother has reached the end of her long life.

**« No, your life will change, too, Laurelin. » **he assured her. **« I will make sure you never have to suffer any hardship again.** **I can't change your gand-mother's fate – I truly wish I could, but even a Prince does not have this power – but I can promise you that I will make your life better. I will be able to pay you decently, for a start, so you won't have to work for other people on top of working for me. Your days will be easier. You will be able to sleep more than just five or six hours a night. You will be able to eat properly, instead of having to make do with a few crumbs and leftovers. » **He smiled at her.** « It may not replace the loving presence of your grand-mother... Nothing could... But at least it will be better than mourning her in a filthy town of men, surrounded by people who would harm you if they could. »**

She hesitated.

**« I would like that, yes. » **she admitted in a small voice. Then she looked up at Thorin, as if she were trying to read his features, but when the man's blue eyes met hers she lowered her gaze again. All the things he had just talked about... It sounded wonderful, but something was still bothering her. _Once he will be a true Prince again, he will probably marry within months. He's handsome and strong and noble. He will have no problem finding himself a wife. And babies will probably follow soon enough. _Thorin would not need her anymore. What would become of Laurelin, then ? What would she do with her life ?

« **Be careful while I am away, all right ?****»** Thorin continued, looking worried.** "And if you have a problem, or if you need anything – anything at all – you go to my sister. At first she wanted to join the warriors for battle, but in the end she decided to stay home with her sons, who are still too young to be entrusted to anybody else. Dis will be there for you, if you need help. Don't be shy. Knock at her door even if it is in the middle of the night. »**

**« Yes, Prince Thorin. » **she answered dutifully, but Thorin wondered if she would really do it. Laurelin was good at taking care of others, but she always neglected her own needs, as if they didn't matter at all. **« Thank you... for what you do for me... » **she said humbly.

**« No more than you deserve. »** Thorin said in a gentle voice. **« You are loyal, hard-working and devoted. » **He saw her blush as she heard the compliments. **« I wish I could do more for you and your grand-mother. »**

**« It will be... a relief, for my grand-mother, when the moment comes. » **she said dejectedly, her throat so tight it was painful. **« Then end of her suffering. But... somehow... I will still miss her... All my family will be gone... All of them... »**

Tears glittered in her brown eyes.

Thorin put a comforting hand on her forearm.

**« I am sorry. »** he said with genuine sadness. **« Life is cruel, to take them all away from you, but you are young, and you have many years to live yet. Mourn your family, but don't let sadness and despair hold sway over you. »** he said. **« Better times will come for us. For all of us, Laurelin. And good things may happen to you in the years to come, probably when you least expect it. One day you will smile again. »**

She nodded, and walked out of the room without further talk.

Thorin could see how sad she still was. He wished he could stay at her side, to keep her from sinking too deep into gloom and melancholy, but Thror was already waiting for him, and the old king wasn't a patient man. He didn't like to wait.

* * *

><p>Laurelin could hear, in the distance, the commotion of the marching procession of Dwarves. Thror's voice, as well as Thrain's and Thorin's, could be heard over the racket, urging the warriors forward. She looked away from her sick grand-mother, but she couldn't see anything through the dirty panels of the window. She sighed, and grabbed the old woman's hand. Then, slowly, the noise faded away, followed by a long silence. Only the barking of a dog, several streets away, could be heard. Laurelin lowered her eyes, wondering how many of them would not come back, or what would happen to Durin's folk if all the warriors – and kings – would be killed. Would they all be able to survive, without a leader ? Would they all die, too ?<p>

**« They are gone, now. » **she whispered softly, with a tender smile on her lips, as she stroked her grand-mother's cheek.

Then she closed her eyes, and all she could see was Thorin wearing his armour, with a sword at his belt and a battle axe in his hands. This is how she had last seen him, a few hours ago, as she had left his house to join her grand-mother.

_Will I ever see him again, or will they bring back a corpse ?_

She started praying in silence.


	4. AZANULBIZAR, PART 2

Night was falling by the time they had gathered all the dead Dwarves. So many... There were so many of them... Hundreds... Thorin contemplated them in silence, his senses dulled by sadness and grief. They had been fierce, loyal warriors – all of them. He was so exhausted himself that he could barely stand, yet he didn't move to sit down or rest. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the corpses.

**« Thorin ? » **someone called him softly.

When he turned around, he saw Balin standing behind him. He was bloody and bedraggled, with a haggard look on his face.

**« We found Frerin. » **the white-haired Dwarf announced. There was grief in his voice, and Thorin knew what his next words would be even before he said them. « He is dead, Thorin. I am sorry. » Then he added, more formally. « His death is a terrible loss for our people. »

Frerin... His little brother... Dead as well...

Just like Thror, the King Under the Mountain.

Just like Thrain, that everybody believed dead even though his body had not been found yet.

Thorin's legs were weak after his efforts during the battle, and he didn't know how long they would still carry him. His left arm was stiff, sore and bruised after the terrible blows the pale orc had landed on his makeshift shield of oaken wood, but pain was the proof he was still alive, unlike all the others. He also bore countless bruises, scratches and cuts all over his body, and when he watched his own hands he saw they were encrusted with drying blood.

**« What of Boraìn ? » **Thorin asked wearily. **« Did you find him ? »**

**« He is alive. » **Balin said, and Thorin sighed in relief. **« But he is badly wounded, though. The healer says he is strong, and she should survive if he is given proper treatment, but nothing is certain, so far. »**

_Let him live, _he prayed silently. _For my sister's sake, let him live. Dis needs a bit of love in her life, and the little ones need a father to raise them._

**« See that he gets everything he needs. » **Thorin ordered his old friend.

Balin nodded and walked away, limping.

Then Thorin stared at the dead Dwarves again.

**« What have we done ? » **he whispered hoarsely, even if there was no one around him to hear his words. _All we wanted was to make our lives better. Have a home again. Reconquer the halls that the Orcs have been besmirching for too long. We were full of hopes and dreams, and now more than half of our people are lying on the ground, cold and dead._

He wanted to cry, and to scream in agony, but he couldn't. Not here, not in front of his people. As a prince, he had to remain strong at all cost, so he took in a deep breath and straightened up, in spite of the pain.

It was high time to pick up the pieces, and to go back where the rest of their people were waiting for them. _Like beaten dogs,_ Thorin relfected. _Heads low and grief in our eyes. Dejected and empty-handed._

Life and fate had been hard on them once more.

When would all the pain stop ?

* * *

><p>Laurelin hadn't slept for several nights. Every morning and every evening since the kings had left to reconquer the Moria, the young maid had wandered at the limit of the camp, and searched the horizon in the hope of seeing them return, of hearing their voices in the distance... So far her hopes at been dashed every time, and she had trudged back home in silence, her heart stricken with anguish and sorrow.<p>

But today, as if the gods had heard her prayers at last, she saw Thorin and his men appear on top of the grassy hill that faced the camp.

She almost screamed in joy and relief, even more so when Thorin's eyes fell on her.

She called his name and all but ran towards him, but very soon she realized something was wrong. Her enthusiasm faded away, leaving her filled with dread. So few of them had returned... It was no more than a few score of wounded Dwarves, with grim faces and ragged beards, their eyes filled with a darkness that frightened Laurelin. She looked up at Thorin, horrified tears were pouring down her round cheeks, and she had to fight back a strong urge to put her hands on him, on his face, to comfort him. Death had struck them once more, and she had almost lost Thorin, too. She was certain of it. He was in such a bad state...

Before Laurelin could say or do any more, though, the Lady Dis came running towards them, her face in tears as well. The maid hesitated, then she stepped back quickly. She knew this was not her place right now was the time for family reunions, the time for siblings joining to mourn their dead together and to comfort each other - and Laurelin was no family. She was just a servant, after all, and no matter how much she would have loved to comfort Thorin, she had to accept the situation as it was. She went to sit on a stump next to Thorin's home, waiting for her turn, her throat so tight it was hard for her to swallow, or even to breathe. She was full of fear and grief – and bitterness. Having to stay out of the way was awfully frustrating.

When Thorin appeared at last, several hours later, Laurelin was still sitting at the same place, a bit stiff after being still for such a long time. Her face was wet with tears when she looked up at him never before had she been so afraid. She got up and walked awkwardly over to him, banging her hips into the heavy oak sideboard on her way, but she was so worried for Thorin that she barely felt the pain.

**« You waited here for me ? »** Thorin asked, surprised. It was late, and he had probably expected her to be in bed, yet Laurelin would have been unable to sleep without having exchanged at least a few words with him.

**« I didn't have the priviledge to talk to you when you came back, »** she said, both relieved to be close to him at last, ande worried as she saw his wounds. No one had tended them yet, obviously. The healers were probably too busy with the Dwarves whose lives were still threatened. Minor injuries could wait. **« Let me clean your wounds. »** she suggested.

**« Just scratches... »** he whispered, too exhausted to say any more. **« Don't worry. »**

**« Please, let me help. »** she insisted. Thorin saw the glistening tears on her cheeks, and his last strand of resistance melted away. He let Laurelin lead him inside the house, sniffing and wiping her tears with her sleeve. First she prepared a quick but hearty meal with the goods she had put aside every day during his absence – a thick slice of dark bread, smoked river trout, a piece of soft white cheese, a pair of garlic sausages, and a hot bowl of vegetable stock from the day before.

Thorin ate, but without real appetite he agreed to feed his hungry body, but he didn't take any pleasure from his food. He was bone weary, and still dazed by the death of almost every member of his family. His eyes, ordinarily so piercing, were now empty and without focus. His thoughts were elsewhere, as if he had left part of himself over there, at the gates of the Moria where so many of his warriors had fallen.

When Thorin was finished with his meal, Laurelin got the small chest of cherry wood she kept on top of a shelf, in the kitchen. It contained everything she would need – medical herbs, soothing slaves, sticky onguents, and other remedies she had gathered over the years she had spent in Thorin's service. She knew how to tend to small wounds or scratches, but she had never treated such important injuries as Thorin was now bearing. She was not sure she would be up to the task – would she even be able to see all that blood without flinching ? - but she gathered her courage and did it anyways. Thorin didn't resist he was already more than half asleep, and barely realized what she was doing.

Laurelin spent the rest of the night nursing Thorin back to health, cleaning even the smallest scratches on his body, inch after inch of skin. His left arm was was bruised from shoulder to wrist, yet luckily no bone had been shattered when the pale Orc had unleashed his fury on the Prince of the Dwarves. He would heal without after-effects, with time, yet Laurelin was aghast every time she thought about the violence of this fight. She had heard rumors while she had been waiting on her stump Thorin had only just escaped death, saved by a mere piece of wood. Oakenshield they now called him. Thorin Oakenshield. The one who had killed Azog the Defiler. Laurelin shuddered as she tried to picture the huge white beast, and how he had almost taken the Prince's life. Her hands started to tremble, but then she pulled herself together.

He is back, isnt he ? He is alive ! There's no point in agonizing over things that didn't happen, you stupid.

She cleaned the wounds with hot water, till there was no dirt left inside, then she smeared the small ones with healing salves and stitched up the deeper sword cuts. She also put a cataplasm on Thorin's battered left arm, before wrapping it in a thick bandage. Her small hands were red with blood and sticky with ointments by the time she was done she washed them in a bucket of cold water, then she cleared away the mess.

When she was done at last, she retreated to let Thorin sleep quietly. Healing and recovering his strengths would take up most of his energy, during the next days, and the best way to help him would be by letting him rest without disturbing him any further. It was hard to leave his side, though, and she had a hard time concentrating on anything else. She came to check on him several times during the following hours – to pull the blankets over him again, to watch if the bandages were holding in place, or simply to make sure he was still breathing...

* * *

><p>Thorin slept for almost two days in a row. When he woke up at last, Laurelin was still there, at his side. She had been the first to rush towards him as he had returned, even before Dis. It had surprised Thorin, as much as he was now suprised by the maid's devotion to him. It was the proof that she was not only serving him out of duty, like most servants in Erebor did it was obvious she truly cared about him.<p>

To be honest, Thorin did not remember that much of his first night at home by the time he had reached his bed, led by Laurelin, he had been so exhausted that everything around him was no more than a blurry haze. But some things he could recall dimly, like her cold hands on his feverish hot skin, and how nimble her fingers had been, and the strong smell of the salves she had used on his injuries. He also remembered the strong feeling of well-being that had swept over him as the maid had bustled around him. And now she was sitting here, right next to his bed, mending one of Thorin's old shirts she had turned into a wonderful seamstress over the years, and she greatly enjoyed working with the needle, but right now she had dark circles under her eyes.

_How many sleepless nights did she spend watching over me ?_ Thorin wondered. _Did she sleep at least a few hours, since I came back ?_

He sighed, and moved slightly in his bed to find a more comfortable position. A strong smell of roasting meat was floating in the air, making his stomach grumble, but he still felt too weak and tired to get up. He closed his eyes again, and listened to Laurelin she was singing herself, as usual, and her soft soothing voice slowly eased away the horrible pictures he kept seeing in his mind. He felt his muscles relax as he enjoyed her soft humming, like a small child being rocked to sleep by his mother's voice.

A few moments later, when he had gathered his strengths and wanted to get up, Laurelin jumped on her feet and put a hand on his brow, to keep him from moving. Her hand was pleasantly cold, and in spite of her callused skin her touch very gentle, almost tender. He looked up at her. She blushed, and lowered her eyes. She removed her hand at once.

**« Please, Prince Thorin, » **she said shyly, fidgeting nervously with the hem of her shirt. **« You need to rest, if you want to heal. »**

Since he did not yet feel strong enough to squabble with her – or with anyone else – he obeyed, and reclined on his pillow again. His left arm was still bandaged, but the pain there had been reduced to a dull throbbing.

After a short silence, Laurelin spoke again :

**« Are you hungry ? » **she asked, with a sweet and reassuring smile on her lips, and her eyes shining with tenderness. **«****We have roast pork chops, and pigeon pie, and also fresh turnips. And berries from the forest, too. Maghà gave them to me, but I didn't eat them. I saved them for you... » **she added timidly. The young maid knew how much Thorin loved pigeon pie they couldn't afford it very often, since the butter she used for the crust was so expensive, and she was sure he would appreciate it. She also wanted him to know that he had never left her thoughts during his absence, and that she had always believed in his return.

**« Yes, please. »** Thorin said in a whisper. **« I am very hungry indeed. »**

His stomach was still rumbling loudly, and besides he knew he needed food to recover from his injuries.

He propped himself up to sit in his bed, and Laurelin put a pair of pillows behind his back to make him more comfortable. Then she went into the kitchen, and came back with his meal on a wicker tray. Thorin smiled at her seeing her bring him his food was a familiar sight – familiar and reassuring. So many things had fallen to pieces in his life, but Laurelin at least was still there. It was a comforting thought. It made him feel better, a bit.

While Thorin was eating, Laurelin kept wiping his brow with a cold, wet piece of rag, to bring down the fever. She didn't say a word, but Thorin say in her big brown eyes all the genuine concern she was feeling for him she was obviously very sad and worried.

**« Thank you. » **he said softly, when she removed the rag from his forehead to plunge it once more in the bucket of water.

**« You're welcome. »** she answered, with a shy smile.

When Thorin's bowl was empty, he laid down on the bed again, and closed his eyes once more. Eating had taken up most of his strenghts, and he needed to rest. Laurelin removed the bandages to check on his injuries, to make sure they were starting to fester again, but everything was all right. They were healing nicely well, the deep cut on his right shoulder was still a bit red and inflamed, hot to the touch, but it was much better than it had been on the first day.

She started singing again, in a very soft voice, barely more than a whisper.

Thorin sighed, and relaxed. As long as she would sing, there would be no nightmares, Thorin knew it – as if her voice was some sort of guardian angel watching over his sleep.

Laurelin kept singing, as if she had somehow sensed how much he needed to hear her.


	5. NOT ALONE

Laurelin was gathering Thorin's clothes to wash them at the river when she heard him move in his bath, on the other side of the closed door.

**« Prince Thorin, is there anything you need ? »** she asked through the wooden panel, without entering, to allow him some privacy.

**« I am fine. »** he replied in a sharp voice.

Laurelin tried not to feel hurt by his curt answer. She knew it was hard for him, to be treated like a cripple who needs assistance day and night, even for the most simple tasks of daily life. He was a proud man, and he hated being so weak, and what he hated even more was for anybody to see him in such a state. It made him grumpy and unpleasant. Laurelin knew she should just ignore his bad mood – she had done no mistake, and his anger was no more than the result of several days of frustration – but she couldn't. She was too devoted to him to be able to act as if nothing was wrong. She aplogized several times before walking away, her throat tight and her eyes filled with tears.

A few moments later, she heard Thorin crawl out of his tub. His right knee was still stiff and swollen, which made it very hard for him to bend his leg. His moves were clumlsy and ungraceful, but this time Laurelin didn't ask him whether he needed help. She was kind and good-hearted, but she had no desire to give him further reason to vent his anger at her. It's only when she heard him fall and swear, a few moments later, that she decided to see what was happening in the other room. She knocked, but Thorin didn't answer. She entered anyways – _what if he is unconscious ?_ - and blushed when she saw him half-naked, wearing only his trousers. She cursed herself for acting so rashly, once more. She turned around and walked out of the room again, mumbling sincere apologies without looking at Thorin.

**« Laurelin ? »** the Prince called her. **« I need help to put on my shirt. »** he admitted grudgingly, between clenched teeth.

Awkwardly, he picked up the white linen shirt and shoved it into Laurelin's hands as soon as she was close enough. She nodded, and did her best to help, but Thorin's left arm was still very stiff and bruised, and every move was making him wince in pain, and they had to struggle for a while till they managed to get it into the sleeve. Laurelin tried to touch Thorin's skin as little as possible, as if she would burn her fingers if she touched it. Being so close to Thorin made her feel particularly ill at ease, when he was in such a sour mood. Sometimes, she wished he would open up and talked to her about the battle – sharing a burden always made it lighter to bear – but he just kept silent and sullen, and a mere serving girl like Laurelin had no right to question her prince. It would have been far too inappropriate.

**« We're almost finished. »** she said as her fingers worked on the last button of his shirt.

Thorim grumbled, and Laurelin almost teared up in front of him. It had been like that for two days, now. He was either angry, or brooding, or annoyed at something. It was not the Thorin she used to know, as if one man had gone to war and another one had come back, full of bitterness and resentment.

Of course, he was like that with everybody, not only Laurelin – with Balin and Dwalin, with the healers, and even with his beloved little sister Dis. Not two hours ago, she had come by to visit him and he had ended up yelling at her, too. Only Dis was strong-willed and stubborn, and she didn't let Thorin's bad mood reduce her to tears _You stubborn old mule, _she had yelled back at him, her arms crossed over her ample breasts. Laurelin had gaped at her, completely shocked to hear someone call Thorin a stubborn old mule, as if he were no more than a rude child being told off by his mother. _I know you're suffering, but you're not the only one, and that's certainly not a reason to treat us as all like a bunch of mangy dogs._ Then she had walked away from him, with tears on her face and sparks of utter fury in her dark eyes. But she had smiled at Laurelin. _I admire you courage, _she had told the young servant._ It is very noble of you to stay at his side even though he's acting so wilfully, but no one could blame you if you decided to spend a few days away from him. You'd be very welcome in my own housen for a few days. I could need some help with Fìli and Kìli, now that my husband is wounded and needs constant attention. And it would serve Thorin right. Let him be alone for a few days, or even a fortnight. Let him brood and sulk. Get away from him, and wait for him to give you the apology you deserve. _Laurelin had been very tempted for a few moments, but in the end she had refused her proposition, saying that her duty was with Thorin, in good times but also in bad times. _As you wish, _the Lady Dis had replied. _But if you change your mind, you know where my house is. And don't let him bring you down. If he goes too far, tell him. Or tell me, and I'll ring his bells for you_.

Laurelin took a deep breath to swallow down her sobs. She would not cry in front of Thorin.

Once she was done with the shirt, she combed his thick black hair and braided it tightly, to keep it away from the wounds.

**« I need to shave and trim my beard, too. »** he said sternly.

This was something Laurelin could not do herself she had never learned to, and besides she would have been far too frightened to hold such a sharp blade against the tender skin of his throat.

**« I will get Zharhaìn. »** she said dutifully.

**« Yes, please. »** Thorin replied. Yet when the maid reached the door, Thorin called her back, quite unexpectedly.** « Laurelin ? »**

**« Yes, Prince Thorin ? »**

**« I just... » **He looked suddenly quite embarrassed. **« I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for my awful attitude, these last days... It is... Yes, it is difficult for me, but my sister was right. It's no excuse to bark orders at you like you're just some dog, or to treat you unfairly. You deserve better, but I am grateful you choose to stay at my side in spite of my unworthy behavior... »**

Laurelin, taken aback, blushed deeply.

**« My place is here, at your service, Prince Thorin. »** she said quite formally.

**« I insist. »** he said. **« I know I'm giving you a hard time, when your life is so hard already. »** Suddenly all the anger was gone, and his voice was tinged with sadness when he continued. **« I... I don't like being like that. I wish I could just... »** He sighed, then he shook his head**. « All these pictures in my head. These awful pictures... I wish I could them wipe out of my memory, but I can't. And I just... »**

He never finished this last sentence. He just shook his head once more.

**« You don't have to justify yourself or to give me any explanations. »** Laurelin replied. **« You don't own me anything. »**

**« Yes, I do. »** he insisted stubbornly. **« I can still see them all... The dead Dwarves... my fallen warriors... My grand-father's head rolling at my feet... My little brother... All dead... So many corpses... The ground was covered with them from horizon to horizon. The earth had turned into mud from all the blood that was shed. And every time I close my eyes, I see them standing in front of me. They're dead, and their empty eyes are staring at me accusingly... They're wondering why I am still alive, while they are all dead and rotting in their tombs... They're waiting for me in the halls of Mahal... They... they hate me, Laurelin. It's my family that led them to their doom, my family that convinced them there was hope when in reality there was none... And the Orcs... so many Orcs... When I sleep I am plagued with nightmares, and when I am awake I am riddled with doubt and guilt, like a rotten apple with worms. There's no rest. Sometimes I wish I would have died, too. Anything would be better than enduring this torture, day after day. »**

Then he put his face in his hands, as if he wanted to hide himself from Laurelin.

Moved by the depth of his grief and torment, she clutched her heart with one hand. This was a side of himself he had never shown her before he was not the Prince anymore, not this Thorin Oakenshield everybody talked about with awe in their voices. What Laurelin saw in front of her now was the man hiding underneath the glorious titles. He was almost vulnerable. Laurelin wished she could do something for him, to ease his pain.

**« Prince Thorin, I... »** she started, but she didn't know how to continue. She was pleased that Thorin had decided to confide in her at last, and more than anything else she was happy to see his anger had vanished.** « It was not your fault. »** she said softly. **« You couldn't know how it would end. No one could have predicted it. You can't blame yourself. »**

Thorin's eyes studied Laurelin for a long time, as if he saw her for the very first time.

**« Why are you still here with me ? »** he asked wearily. **« I heard what my sister told you. Why didn't you go with her ? »**

**« I pledged my life and service to you. »** she explained. **« Not to your sister. »**

**« I don't deserve to have someone at my service, even less someone as kind as you are. »** he said, still staring intently at her.

She blushed a deep red.

**« Thank you, Prince Thorin. » **she said.

**« Laurelin, please don't judge me too hard. »** he answered, almost begging now. **« I know I've been giving you a hard time, these last days, but... I promise you that I will do my best to act more honourable, from now on. And if I ever... if I ever treat you again in a way that you consider inappropriate – be it tomorrow, or next week, or in ten years – I allow you to yell back at me. Maybe you should take some lessons with Dis. She's always been good at that. »** Thorin joked.

Laurelin couldn't help but smile as she remembered the 'stubborn old mule'. Suddenly, the atmosphere was a bit lighter.

Thorin took her hand in his she didn't know why, exactly – maybe to feel closer to her ? - but she enjoyed the physical contact anyways. His hand was rough and scarred by battle, but it was big and warm, and strong. He was looking at Laurelin pleadingly.

Laurelin watched her own little hand as it rested against Thorin's, for a long while, her mouth ajar with disbelief. She looked up at him inquiringly, but before Thorin could add anything Laurelin felt her own fingers entwine with the Prince's.

**« I... I don't know what to say... » **she admitted.** « But... I know you've suffered a great loss, and it must be so hard for you... and you're wounded, too... »** She stopped. **« There's nothing for me to forgive you. »** she said finally, but the words were in contradiction with what she was truly feeling , and they sounded wrong even to her own ears. She decided to be honest with him, since he had been honest with her. **« It's just hard for me to hear you talk to me like that, Prince Thorin. You're hurt, and I see you are in pain, and I just want to help... It's not pity, Prince Thorin. There's nothing for you to be asamed about, and you don't have to... » **She stopped, and had to take a deep breath before she could say any more. **« There's so many things in my life, right now, that are going wrong... Sometimes I just feel like I'm nothing, and once my grand-mother will be dead, no one will care for me anymore. I will be all alone in the world. And it frightens me, Prince Thorin. It really frightens me. And the only thing that used to give me comfort, in the midst of all this turmoil, was the knowledge that I would always have my place at your side, working for you and making your life as pleasant as possible. Only now... when I hear you talk to me like that... »**

Her voice was soft and low, without even the slightest hint of anger - just sadness.

**« Now the idea of being in my company doesn't bring you any comfort anymore. »** he finished for her. She lowered her eyes.

**« I am sorry. »** he said. **« I am not blind. I know how hard it is for you. I know you struggle, too. » **He tightened his grip on her hand. **« Give me just another chance, Laurelin. Please... »**

She nodded, unable to say anything. Her soft brown eyes were wide open, shining with emotion. She enjoyed Thorin's strong grip on her hand. It was reassuring, and comfortable, and when he released her again she felt suddenly very vulnerable.

But Thorin was smiling at her, now. A real smile, not a fake one.

**« Thank you. »** he said gently.

He got up, and walked slowly away, limping on his wounded leg.

Instinctively, without even thinking, Laurelin grabbed his hand before he was out of her reach. Her long slender fingers curled up around Thorin's, to keep him from walking away. The Prince of the Dwarves stiffened in surprise, but he didn't remove his hand, though. He looked at Laurelin for a few seconds, then he eased off and gave her time to speak he was startled by this unexpected reaction of hers, but definitely curious to hear what she had to say.

**« Please... Don't run away from me. »** she pleaded in a very soft voice, sounding almost like a mother trying to soothe a distressed child. **« Talk to me, Prince Thorin. Don't keep all these things inside, or they will eat you up like poison. They will turn you mad. Stay here with me, and talk to me. Share your burden. Please... »** This time she was able to look him in the face. There was nothing but kindness and sympathy in her eyes. For a moment she seemed to lose all countenance she started fidgeting nervously and looked away, and then she got her emotions under control again. She stared at Thorin once more. **« My mother... She always encouraged me to talk about it, when something was bothering me... I remember, when I was little and when I was having nightmares, she always sat next to me on the bed and made me tell her everything... She said talking about it was the only way to make them go away. »**

Her voice was hesitant – it was the first time she was talking about something so personal with Thorin – but she was determined to go to the end of this discussion. For Thorin's sake. She was ready to hear him out, and to give him all the compassion he needed to recover from this trauma.

Thorin hesitated. He had hidden everything behind thick walls made of pretense and fake courage everything that had happened during the battle, every pain, every grief, he had just pushed it all away and locked it into a remote corner of his mind. It was still hurting him there, hurting him from the inside every minute of every hour of every day – but at least he could _pretend_ he wasn't affected. A prince could not be seen as weak by his people, or else they would lose all faith in him. And it was even more true for the King he had now become ; he was Thorin Oakenshield, the leader of Durin's folk, the one they would all follow, and he had to be strong enough to keep them all going, even when they felt they could not go any further. He had to be the one whose determination would never falter. The facade he had so meticulously built to hide his fears and anguish was strong, like the impanetrable ramparts of a castle, yet somehow his walls started to crack as he looked into Laurelin's soft, pleading eyes. Something about her made his heart melt. The prospect of telling her what was gnawing at him was tempting, but also frightening he knew that if he lowered his walls, even if only a bit, everything would pour out of him like a river of pain and suffering... Everything he had so carefully hidden would lay bare in front of her, and then she would see... well, she would see into the core of Thorin's soul. Never before had he allowed anyone to be so close to him – not his grand-father, not his father, not even Frerin.

He looked at Laurelin – sweet, soft and loyal Laurelin, always so willing to help...

Would it really be so bad if she knew ?

As Thorin's silence lingered, the young maid insisted :

**« I have seen death, you know. » **she said gently, in a whisper. **« The day Smaug came to take Erebor from us, I have seen more death than I could stomach. I still remember every detail as clearly as if had happened yesterday. The screams... The smoke... The smell of... of burned flesh as our fellow Dwarves burned alive in the dragon's fire... »** She paused, then she took a deep breath and continued. **« I saw my parents die. I can understand... I've been through it, too, Prince Thorin. I know how it feels when all the people you love are suddenly gone, and it feels like somebody ripped out your own heart because the pain... the pain is... »**

She couldn't say any more. Her throat was too tight. Talking about this had awakened her own grief, making old wounds bleed again.

Thorin sighed deeply. He realized their fingers were still entwined. He felt a rush of genuine warmth and gratitude.

**« I'm sorry for you loss, and I am even more sorry you had to relive it again because of me. »** he said. He gave Laurelin's hand a comforting squeeze, cursing himself for having made her talk about these things. _Why is it always so hard to forget the horrors of the past ? Why do the bad memories always come back to haunt us, even so many years later ? Whay can't they leave us in peace ? What do we have to do te get rid of them ?_

**« I am all right... »** she said, then she paused. **« I know how hard it must be for you, after you've been through, but** **you are alive, Prince Thorin, and you are not alone. »** Laurelin continued. Somehow, she had managed to put aside her grief, and was now gaining confidence with each word. **« And we need you. We would be lost without you to lead us. »**

**« How am I supposed to lead the Dwarves, when I do not even know what to do with myself ? » **he aksed, a bit sharply, but this time Laurelin understood his anger was directed at himself, and only himself.

**« Master Balin told me what happened during the battle... »** she said. **« He told me everything... How you fought Azog, with nothing but an old branch to shield yourself against his blows... Balin's voice was filled with awe as he told me about your courage and your fortitude. He said he had never seen another Dwarf as brave as you are. He has faith in you, and so do I – and now more than ever. »**

**« How can you have faith in a loser ? I brought my people no glory, not even a true victory. I brought them nothing. »**

**« You were not alone in taking that decision... »** she reminded him gently. Actually, according to the Lady Dis, Thror had been the first to suggest the idea of reconquering the Moria. Thorin had only followed his grand-father.

**« But all the others are gone, so all the guilt goes to me. » **Thorin replied. He wasn't whining or complaining about it, like a lesser Dwarf would have done – he was simply stating the hard and unpleasant truth.

**« You still have a choice, Prince Thorin. Either you can let the bitterness eat you up, and then you will truly be a loser ; or you can choose to learn from your mistakes, to become a better King than your ancestors used to be.** **Stronger, harder, tougher – but also wiser. » **She was flustered now she was not exactly sure whether a serving girl was allowed to talk like that to her master, and she feared she was overstepping Thorin's authority, but his hand in hers gave her a courage she had never expected to find within herself.

**« When I was young, my grand-father used to talk to me about the glory of Erebor, and how it would all be mine some some day, when I would be old and wise enough. »** Thorin said, his voice so low it was barely audible. **« But now... Look at us now, Laurelin... »** He put his second hand over hers, as if he could draw strengths from her touch. She blushed, but her thumb brushed Thorin's very softly. If he needed comfort, she would not refuse him this small kindness.

**« They are all dead, now... My grand-father, the mightiest Dwarf I have ever met, lies cold and still at the bottom of a dark tomb... My father has vanished from the surface of the earth, and we can only imagine what terrifying fate awaits him now that he is lost and far from his kin... Even Frerin is dead... My little brother... »** A bitter-sweet smile stretched Thorin's lips. **« I still remember him when he was a little boy. He always wanted to use my own weapons, when we sparred on the training grounds, even though they were too heavy for him. He always wanted to prove he was as good as me. He was so silly. We all knew his valor. He was the only one who could not see his own worth, and now he's dead, and he will never... »** The words died in Thorin's throat. It took him a few moments before he could talk again. **« He was my little brother. I was supposed to protect him. To keep him from harm. But then suddenly there were Orcs everywhere, and I lost sight of him, and next time I saw him he was lying on the ground with a dozen of black arrows piercing his body. »**

**« He died honourably, with a sword in his hand, and I am sure he killed many Orcs before he was brought down. » **Laurelin said with conviction.

**« Yes, he died honourably, and he had no reason to be ashamed when he joined our ancestors in the halls of Mahal. » **he said sadly, with a disheartened smile. **« But that doesn't make it any easier for those who are left behind. »**

She agreed. Then, Laurelin saw tears glistening in Thorin's eyes, but he didn't let them fall. Even now, he was still holding them back, trying to be strong and brave. Someone else might have overseen how distressed he really was, but Laurelin knew him well, by now, and nothing escaped her. It touched her, though, to hear him open up like that.

**« They say I am a king, now... They all look up to me for guidance... They expect me to tell them what to do... Balin, Dwalin, my sister... Everybody is so sure I will do what is best for our folk... Even you, Laurelin... You look at me with such faith in your eyes, and you just told me you still believe in me – but don't you understand that I don't deserve it ? I've let the King die... I've let my little brother die... I've let all my fierce and faithful warriors die... Even my sister's husband will probably not make it, if what Oin says is true. The little ones will grow up fatherless, because I wasn't there to protect the man who loved them so much, as I should have done. They're all dead, and I am alive. »**

He spat the last word with anger and resentment, and only then did Laurelin truly understand how much Thorin blamed himself for everything that had happened, and how much this burden weighed on his shoulders.

**« They call me a king, but no king had ever been more unworthy of this title. » **he continued. **« We... we're nothing but a bedraggled heap of survivors... The glorious future my grand-father used to talk about had turned to ash and dust. His dreams are as dead as he is now. And I don't know what to do, Laurelin. Where will we go ? How will we survive ? We cannot go on like this forever, living on the roads, begging for work in the towns of men, counting on the generosity of others to keep us alive – but what else can we do ? I am lost, Laurelin. Completely lost in the darkness. »**

Laurelin waited a few moments, to be sure he was finished, before she answered :

**« We would all be dead already, if not for you, Prince Thorin. » **she said gently, then she corrected herself. **« King Thorin... »** she added, with respect and deference. **« With all due respect to your honourable family, it's not Thror, or even Thrain, who saved our people after Smaug's attack. It's you, and only you, my King. You did everything in your power to keep us all alive. »** Since Thorin's face was now expressionless, she hesitated. She was not sure whether she could keep talking or not. **« You... you don't have anything to prove anymore, since you already proved yourself so many times before... Each and every Dwarf here believed in you before, and believes in you even more, now, after they heard about your fearless battle against Azog. No one is more worthy than you to be called our King, »** she added humbly.

Thorin sighed deeply and watched their hands, that were still entwined. Both of them were reluctant to let go.

**« And besides, if you hadn't killed the evil armies swarming from the Moria, they would probably have reached us here within days. »** she continued, her voice filled with terror at she tried to imagine this dreadful scene. **« The women, the children, the elderdly people... All those who can't fight... the Orcs would have slaughtered us all, just like they did with your warriors. We... we owe you our lives, once more, my King. » **She smiled sadly, and lowered her eyes. **« I just wish the price had not been so terrible for you... »**

Thorin nodded slowly, then he unwillingly released his grip on Laurelin's hand.

**« Thank you for your kindness. » **he said with sincerity. **« Your words are soothing, and you, Laurelin – you are a blessing. »**

She blushed once more. After several days of enduring his bad mood, this was almost too much. She was still wondering if she had heard correctly, or if her ears had tricked her into hearing what she wanted to hear.

**« Our world is vast, my King, isn't it ?»** she asked nervously, still flushed with emotion. **« There must be places where we haven't been yet, and where we might settle. I have heard some other women talk about the fertile lands in the west, while we were washing our laundry together at the river. They talked about mountains, too. The Blue Mountains, they called them. It would be a long journey to reach them, but... »**

Hope was shining in her eyes as she looked up at him. The prospect of having a home again, one day, was making her heart beat faster.

_But will he listen to my suggestion ?_

**« The Blue Mountains, yes... »** Thorin said, almost dreamily. **« Balin talked about them, too... And I'm starting to think you're both right. I wanted to stay here, close to Erebor, just in case... in the hope that one day we might have a chance to chase away the dragon... It was improbable, but not impossible... And I clung to that hope like a drowning man to a wooden plank... But maybe... »** He smiled at Laurelin. **« Maybe our future truly lies in the west, and not here in the east. »**

His smile widened, and Laurelin knew he was taking her seriously indeed.

**« I need to leave you, for now. »** he continued. **« Even a wounded King had duties to attend to, and delaying them will not make them any easiers. Thank you, Laurelin. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. »**

**« You're welcome. »** she replied, bowing deeply.

She watched him limp out of the bedroom, and heaved a deep sigh.

* * *

><p>A week later, Thorin had more or less recovered from his wounds, and he had regained most of his autonomy. He could go about his daily activities without need of somebody at his side all the time, which was a great relief. He had visited poor Dis, whose husband had joined the halls of Mahal a few days ago, after a long and hopeless battle against the fever born from his festering wounds. Dis was devastated, of course, but she was also strong and Thorin knew she would survive her grief, if only for the sake of her two boys, who needed her more than evern now.<p>

The day was warm and pleasant, and he had a few hours of freedom ahead, so he decided to pay Laurelin a visit. He had barely seen her, since their long talk, for she had been very busy with her sick grand-mother Thorin had missed her, but he could also understand the old woman needed her more than himself, right now. It was only natural the Laurelin stayed at her side. He reached the small house where the two women lived it was small, with walls made of wooden planks, and no glass panels in the windows. The garden he saw behind the house, though, was neat and well-kept, with not a single weed sprouting from the earth. He knocked at the door and announced himself, expecting to see Laurelin open the door, but obvisously she wasn't home.

**« Enter, please. » **The voice of the grand-mother was weak and weary.

Thorin did as she told him, and entered into a small and dark living room smelling of smoke and drying herbs. At first, Thorin didn't see the grand-mother, then he spotted her on a straw mattress, near the fire. She was buried under so many layers of furs and blankets that she was almost invisible. She looked old and tired, and it was obvious she would not last any longer than a few days – yet her eyes were still sharp, as well as her mind. _That must be terrible,_ Thorin reflected. A clear mind in a broken body. She knows she is dying, and there's nothing she can do about it. Just wait, and wait, and wait.

**« It is an honour to welcome you in our humble home. » **she said with a weak smile, revealing a dark hole where her teeth should have been.

He talked with her for a few moments, and he told her how much he appreciated Laurelin.

**« So you are satisfied by her work ? » **she asked in a trembling voice.

**« Completely. You can be proud of her. »**

**« I am... » **she replied tenderly, then she paused to recover her breath. Even the simple act of uttering a few words was draining her. **« I wish I could have lived long enough to see her marry, and to meet her children, but the gods have decided otherwise. Several men came to talk to me about her, but Laurelin didn't show interest in any of them. »** Another pause. **« But someday, I know she will find someone she truly wants to share her life with. My King, I know I am in no position to ask anything from you, but she has great respect and admiration for you. She will listen to you. When the day comes for her to choose a mate, I'd like for you to make sure he is worthy of her... »**

**« I will. » **he promised her without a single second of hesitation, even though he didn't like the idea of Laurelin finding a husband. He really appreciated her presence and her good work, and his own life would be very empty without her. The very idea of a man putting his hands on her was making him uncomfortable – probably because of the ugly things those two brutes had done to her, so many years ago. He wanted to keep her safe under his wing, to protect her like he hadn't been able to protect those who had followed him into battle. If something happened to Laurelin, it would be unbearable for him ; not only because she was – as his servant – under his protection, but also because she had taken a very special place in his life, over the years. He couldn't even imagine his life without her standing at his side, quiet and discreet yet always present, always ready to help and to serve. He cared for her like he cared for no one else, except maybe Dis and her children.

Barely a few moments later, he heard Laurelin's light footsteps as she entered the house. She startled as she saw him.

**« King Thorin, is there something wrong ? »** she asked, looking worried. **« Do you have need of me ? »**

**« No, nothing's wrong, Laurelin. »** he said gently.

**« So... Why are you here ? »** She realized the question may sound a bit rude, but she was so surprised by this unexpected visit that she didn't really know what else to say.

**« I spent the morning among bickering Dwarves. I've heard more than enough shouts and curses. I'm tired, and I long for your quiet and comforting presence – if you have time for me, of course. »**

She blushed deeply, but at the same time she couldnt help but smile. The fact that Thorin was searching her out after a hard day was a wonderful compliment it was the proof that she really meant something, to him.

**« I always have time for you. » **she said. **« But aren't there other people more worthy of your time and attention ? »**

Thorin smiled at her.

**« There's no one more worthy of my time and attention than the person who stayed at my side day and night when I was wounded. »** he said. **« Even when I was angry and unpleasant and treating you so horribly, you still decided to stay with me. It shows how loyal, kind and reliable you are. I know I can really trust you, which is not something I can say about most other Dwarves. » **

Laurelin was more and more surprised.

**« But... your sister... »**

Thorin chuckled softly.

**« When I left her a few moments ago, she was busy running after her eldest son after he almost burned down the house, and I can assure you that I have no desire to help her catching the little brat. »** Actually, Fìli was still too young to understand what death truly meant, and he hadn't realized yet that he would never see his beloved father again. The mourning candles Dis had lit to honour her deceased husband had been no more, to the boy, than a new toy to play with while his mother was busy elsewhere. It made Thorin sad to think about Boraìn and Dis and Fìli, so he tried to push them out of his mind. Which brought him back to Laurelin.** « I would... Well, spending the rest of the afternoon in company of a friend seems like a good idea to me. »** he said at last.

**« A friend ? »** she asked, wondering who he was talking about, then her eyes opened as wide as plates when she understood he was talking about her. She turned very red, and felt her cheeks grow so hot she could have baked an egg on them. _Me ? He wants to spend the afternoon with me, as a friend ?_ Laurelin suddenly felt all giddy. She could hardly believe Thorin had just said those words to her. _Maybe I should pinch my arm, to wake up from this dream ?_ **« Of... of course, if such is your desire, my King, but... I have to weed the garden, and … and... »**

**« The garden looks clean enough, to me. » **Thorin said, pointing at the small window that offered them a view on the aforesaid garden. Then he smiled at Laurelin once more.** « Forget about your work, if only for a few hours. Rest and enjoy yourself, for a change. No one deserves it more than you. »**

**« I can't... » **she said stubbornly. There were other tasks to carry out – water to fetch at the well, and socks to mend, and medical herbs to dry, and preparing the bread for next morning, and so many other things that she suddenly felt overwhelmed.

**« Go, Sweetie. » **her grand-mother said weakly, and the corners of her thin lips stretched into a tenuous smile.

Laurelin opened her mouth to say something, then suddenly she realized she didn't care about laundry or herbs anymore. _This is not just some random man who wants to spend time with me. It's Thorin Oakenshield in person. Our King._

And a maid can't refuse her King, can she ?

She kissed her beloved grand-mother.

She smiled back at Thorin, and they spent the rest of the day talking about stupid, silly or boring things that made them forget about the chaos their lives had turned into. They had never talked like that before, during those thirty years they had spent at each other's side, and by the time Laurelin left him to go back to her grand-mother, he felt better than he had since his return from battle. _And if I judge by the smile on Laurelin's lips, or the sparkle in her eyes, the same goes for her, as well. _Thorin thought.

It was a new start for both of them.


	6. FIRST SIGHT OF THE BLUE MOUNTAINS

They reached the ruined village an hour before the mid-day, as the sun was high in the blue sky. Long ago, it had been built by the humans, but they had deserted it when the mines – its main source of income – had caved in. It had been several decades ago, if not a century ; the abandoned houses were now starting to collapse and break down, and the roads were covered by tall grasses and thorny bushes. It was surrounded by mountain grasslands and high cliffs of grey stone, and in the far distance they could glimpse giant mountains topped with permanent snow. The entry of the mines had been barred with ropes and wooden beams, but they had started to rot and would easily be removed, if the Dwarves decided to start exploiting the mines again. Copper and iron was not as good as gold or jewels, as in Erebor, but it was better than nothing and if they were lucky it would be enough to earn them a decent life.

Thorin soon found the old smithy, and was pleased to see that its walls were still standing strong. This would be a good place to live, he reflected as he opened the old wooden door. It creaked on its rusty hinges. Each of his steps was sending up thick clouds of dust, and the air smelled stuffy, yet Thorin felt a shiver of excitement run down his back as he imagined himself working here, not as a mere blacksmith who busied himself with nails and horseshoes, but as a real master-armorer, like his father before him. It wasn't an easy trade to craft good weapons ; it required patience and precision and meticulousness, as well as hard physical work, but it was also better paid than nails and horseshoes. He would forge swords and axes and spearheads, and later sell them to the humans living down there in the valley.

He made a few more steps, and tripped over a block of stone. The wall that separated the smithy from the living quarters had collapsed. Repairing everything would not be easy, of course. They would need materials and equipment, and time. A lot of time.

_But we are a hardy folk, and we can make it if we have to._

He kicked away a piece of rotten wood, then he heard soft footsteps behind him. Even before he turned around, he recognized Laurelin ; after so many years spent in her company, he knew her gait by heart and he would have recognized her anywhere. Her dress was covered in dust, and she had spiderwebs in her hair.

**« Did you find a comfortable place for your grand-mother ? » **he asked her.

No one would have expected the old woman to last so long. Every day during the journey to the Blue Mountains, the healers had said she would not survive another day, or another night, and every time she had proved them wrong by staying alive in spite of the sickness that devoured her from the inside. Her used and weary body refused to let go. She clung to life with surprising vigor.

**« Begnar and Kuraìn helped me to get her down from the cart. » **she replied, a worried look on her face. **« We put her in a small house near the well. The roof is still good enough to provide shadow, since she can't take the sun anymore. And it may turn into a nice house for both of us, if we decide to settle here. And there's a garden, too. And several plum trees... »**

Thorin smiled. He knew how much Laurelin loved eating sweet, juicy summer plums whenever she had the chance.

**« Good, but... shouldn't you stay at her side ? She has more need of your company than me, hasn't she ? » **he asked, worried.

**« She's asleep. There's nothing more I can do for her, right now, except praying and hoping for a better future. »**

Thorin took a step towards her. She was distressed and worried, and it was obvious she was barely just holding out. He almost hugged her, as he would have done with Dis if he had seen her so upset, but he didn't know how Laurelin would react. So he just looked intently at her, hoping she would understand how much he cared for her.

**« I am sorry life is so hard for you. » **he said softly. **« You have endured many harsdships and terrible blows, these last years, and shed more tears than anyone should be allowed to shed. If there is anything I can do to make it a little bit less hard, just tell me and I will do my best to help you. » **She nodded, but Thorin doubted she truly believed him. _I hope she doesn't think I'm only saying this out of politeness. I hope she will truly reach out for me if things get too hard. _

**« A forge. »** she said suddenly, to change the subject. Talking about her grand-mother always left her sad and dejected, and right now she needed to think about something less depressing. **« You mean to live here ? »**

**« Yes, I suppose I will. It's not much, compared to the mighty forges of Erebor, but at least it will be mine. »**

**« Everything is so old... How long has this town been like that ? »**

**« Almost a hundred years, if the humans in the valley are to be believed. » **Thorin answered. **« Long enough, at least, for small tress to grow in the most unexpected places. » **They had encountered a small birch tree with a trunk as thick as a grown man's forearm, growing on top of a roof, and a smaller one growing in a rusty hearth.

**« You think we can make this place alive again ? » **she asked wearily.

The journey to the Blue Mountains had been exhausting. They had crossed rivers and mountains, and they had suffered and endless winter followed by a wet, murky spring. Laurelin had barely slept more than a few hours each night between her duties to Thorin and caring for her grand-mother, she didn't have much time to rest. Underfed and neglected, her body had suffered during this umpteenth wandering. She had lost weight, and the skin of her face and arms had turned red and dry from being exposed too long to sun, wind and cold. Thorin had seen the changes, of course, and he greatly admired Laurelin's fortitude the first time he had seen her, shortly after the fall of Erebor, he had mistaken her for a frail and fragile little thing, a little dove whose wings would break at the first difficulty - but during the journey to the Blue Mountains she had proved time and time again that she was tougher than he had expected her to be.

**« I don't know, but it's worth trying, don't you think ? »** he asked her, curious to hear her opinion about all this.

**« Yes, it will be good to stop running. »** she admitted. **« I think we are all tired of travelling. We all need to see the end of this journey. »**

**« I'm going to see what's upstairs. » **he told her. **« To check the roof, and try to find out what creatures are nesting up there. I heard their tiny footsteps over my head, earlier, while I was exloring the ground floor. Rats, I bet. Or maybe wild cats, or a marten. »**

Whatever it was, Thorin would have to get rid of them, one way or another.

**« I'm going to fetch water at the river, for my grand-mother. »** Laurelin said, looking suspiciously at the ceiling. **« The well is dry and empty, but there's a small lake nearby. Do you want me to fill your flask, while I am there ? Harul said it's the purest and freshest water he's drank in his whole life. »**

**« Well, it can't be worse than the river we have crossed yesterday, can it ? » **Thorin joked, as he remembered the yellowish stream springing out of the rocks. It had been stinking of sulfur, so disgusting that even the hardy mountain goats had refused to drink it. He unfastened the leather tie that bound the flask to his belt, and handed it to Laurelin. **« A bit of water would be very welcome indeed. Thank you, Laurelin. »**

She took the flask.

**« Are you sure it is safe to climb up there ? »** she asked, looking warily at the staircase. It was made of wood, and some parts were rotten, while other parts were full of holes where the wood-eating insects had carved their galleries.

**« Don't worry for me. » **he said confidently. **« I will be careful. »**

She watched as he climbed the five first steps, then she walked away, leaving Thorin alone. He reached the top of the stairs without any problem. Upstairs, he saw no living animals, but lots of dust everywhere, and mouse droppings on the floor, and moth eaten curtains. One of the windows was broken, allowing brambles and ivy to crawl inside the bedroom. Everything was very old and very sad. The people who used to live here had left in all haste, leaving behind most of their possessions. Thorin wondered what they would say if they saw the Dwarves settling into their houses. Would they be angry ? Would they call us thieves ? Or would they be happy to see that life was back between the deserted walls of the village ?

Thorin had no answers, so he just closed his eyes and prayed.

_Let this be the first day of a glorious era for Durin's folk, please. Let it be the beginning of a better life for all of us._

* * *

><p>Laurelin had barely left Thorin when she encountered Dis and her sons. She greeted the lady and bowed respectfully, and smiled at the little boys. Fili was running about, his long golden hair flying wildly around his face as he tried to catch butterflies. He had a strong, cheerful laughter, and every day he looked more like his father. He stopped running only long enough to greet Laurelin politely. The young maid greeted him back with a soft and gentle smile.<p>

**« Young Master Fili... »**

Then the young boy was off again, slashing at invisible Orcs with an old stick.

Little Kili was still soft and chubby in his mother's arms. He smiled at Laurelin, showing his four baby teeth, then he burst into happy giggles as she stroked his cheeks with the tip of her fingers. Laurelin's smile broadened when she heard that wonderful sound, and her heart melted.

**« They are both so cute and cheerful. » **she commented, as she watched them with fondness in her eyes. Since Laurelin was an only daughter, she never had to watch over younger siblings, and she had never been around young children, but she enjoyed being in their presence.

**« One day you'll have children of your own, and then you will realize that they are in fact little monsters. »** the Lady Dis joked, as she tousled Kili's dark hair with a tender look on her face. **« They look like angels, but they are real little devils in disguise, aren't you ? »** Dis tickled her youngest son, till he screamed in delight.

Laurelin smiled again, but this time it was only just a polite smile, even a bit sad.

Fili, realizing that his little brother was getting more attention than him, stood between Laurelin and his mother.

**« Look, I've killed the nasty Orc ! »** he bellowed, before hitting his own head with the stick. Laurelin saw him tear up, but even at his young age he was already too proud to cry in front of everybody. He sniffed once, twice, then he rubbed away his tears and acted as if nothing had happened, but his face remained sullen. Instinctively, Laurelin felt the urge to stroke his head or give him a comforting hug, but of course she refrained herself in spite of his young age, Fili was a member of the royal family – as well as Thorin's heir. Master Balin had told her that as long as Thorin would remain unwed and childless, Fili was on top of the line of succession.

He was a future king, and Laurelin no more than a servant.

**« Fee ! » **Kili yelled in a shrill voice, wriggling in his mother's arms till she yielded and put him on the ground. He made a few awkward steps, then he tripped over his own feet and fell into Fili's open arms.

**« I will be glad when they are a bit older. »** the Lady Dis confided Laurelin. **« They need constant attention, and it's exhausting to watch over them all the time... There are just so many things to do every day, so many chores, but I just can't concentrate on anything because I have to keep an eye on them, all the time... If I don't, it only takes them a few minutes to get into some mischief, or to put themsleves in danger. »**

She sighed wearily, and shook her head.

Laurelin offered her a sympathetic smile. She remembered that Dis was alone to raise her sons. She had lost her beloved husband, yet she had found the strength to keep going. And she still had to work, too, to earn enough money to feed her family, yet in spite of that Laurelin had never seen her cry, or whine, or ask for help. Laurelin greatly admired her for her courage and fortitude.

**« If you need help with the boys, my Lady, I would be glad to help. » **Laurelin suggested, listening only to her heart and not to her reason, because in all honesty she did not know where she could possibly find the time to accomplish even more work.

**« Oh, that's so nice of you, Laurelin, but I know how hard your life already is. »** Dis replied with a warm smile. **« Working for my brother and taking care of your grand-mother with such devotion is more than enough. Asking anything more of you would be cruel. And don't worry for me. I've learned to manage my household alone. » **she added, with a certain pride. Then she turned around, to her sons.** « Come on, boys ! Let's go and see what your Uncle Thorin is about ! »**

They both screamed enthusiastically, and Fili ran inside the forge like a lightning bolt. Kili tried to catch up with him on his chubby, clumsy legs, but he lost his balance and fell face-first onto the grass. Unhurt, he giggled and rolled himself in the high grass. Dis picked him up, and entered the forge with him.

Laurelin smiled at no one in particular, and while she knelt on the rocky shore of the lake to fill her goatskins – as well as Thorin's flask – her mind wandered over to a time in the future when she would have her own children. She tried to imagine what they would look like, and how she would love them more than anything else in the world... Boys or girls, it wouldn't matter. But then she remembered her own childhood, her own life, and her smile turned bitter. What could she possibly offer her children ? A life of hard work and servitude, as she – and her parents before her – had known ? Spending their lives in somebody else's service ? Never a quiet day to rest or to enjoy themselves ? She plunged the flask into the icy cold water, and saw goose-bumps cover her bare arms.

_No, _she reflected. In spite of her deep desire to bear children and to be a mother, she was wise enough to understand it wouldn't be a good idea.

_I refuse to bring children into this world, only to see them suffer the same pains and hardships I have suffered._

When Thorin heard children laughing downstairs, he recognized his nephews at once, and he climbed down the stairs to greet them. Fili was prodding a big black spider with his stick, and Kili was wobbling on his tiny legs ; he had taken his first steps a few weeks ago, during the journey, and now he was using his newly acquired talent to explore the world around him. He was curious and afraid of nothing, and never tired of running after his big brother. Dis herself looked as exhausted as anybody, after this long journey, but Thorin thought she was looking better now than she ever had since her husband's death.

**« A smithy. » **she said, smiling as she looked around. **« So, you'll take up Father's trade ? »**

**« He was the best armourer of Erebor. »**

**« And now you will be the best armourer of... » **She frowned. **« Well, what's the name of this place ? »**

Thorin shrugged.

**« We have time to decide. It's not exactly the most urgent question. »**

Dis caught Kili just in time before he banged his head against the corner of a working bench. She lifted him up in her arms again he screamed and kicked to be put back on his feet, but he calmed down instantly when his mother frowned at him.

**« All the others are pretty enthusiastic, too. » **she said.

**« And you ? »**

**« I can only agree with them. » **she answered. **« Having a place to call our own will be a relief, aftrer all these years of sharing lives with filthy and unsavory humans. »**

There was a short silence.

**« This house is big. There are half a dozen of rooms upstairs. Enough for you and the boys, if you want to. » **Thorin already knew his sister would say no, but he still felt it was his duty as an elder brother to ask it. Dis straightened up ad if he had insulted her, and there was a sharp edge to her words when she replied :

**« I can take of my own family. I do not need to depend on anyone for our living, Thorin. »**

He smiled at the look of wounded pride on her face, amused by her quick temper.

**« Yes, little sister, I know you don't need anybody. »** he snorted, then he was suddenly serious again. **« But we are all that's left of our family, you and I - and your boys. We need to stick together. »**

Dis softened up.

**« Of course we do. And I will always be there for you if you need me, just like you will always be there for me if I need it. But that doesn't mean we have to cling to each other like a barnacle to the hull of a ship, does it ? » **

They exchanged a smile of complicity.

**« No, we don't have to cling to each other. » **Thorin admitted, relieved. They both had a strong temper, and they would have been bound to clash every now and then if they had shared the same roof.

**« Besides, you have Laurelin at your side to take care of you. »** the Dwarf-woman added. Her smile tunred mischievous. **« Aren't you happy, now, that I made you hire her ? »**

**« She's the most loyal servant anybody could hope to find. » **he responded, a bit annoyed, as usual when he had to admit his sister had been right about something. It tickled his pride.

**« Of course she is. **» Dis mused, and her smile widened. There was definitely something impish in her voice, but Thorin didn't lose any time trying to understand what was going through her mind. Dis was a strange creature, after all.

But in truth, in spite of what Thorin had told his sister, his relationship with Laurelin was far more than just master and servant. She had become a true friend during the voyage, even if they had not spend much time together, whith Laurelin travelling at her grand-mother's side.

One of Thorin's fondest memories, during those endless months of wandering, was that one night when he had found Laurelin sitting apart from the main camp, all alone. Everybody else had been asleep already, but the young main had been watching the stars. There had been such melancholy on her soft, round face that Thorin had felt his heart melt. He had joined her under the stars. They had not talked much, that night, but they had both enjoyed each other's presence, and when they had left to sleep at last, Thorin had realized it had somehow brought them closer. Then, a few weeks later, as autumn had just turned into winter, Thorin had spotted Laurelin cuddling with his little bay pony. He had asked her if she wanted to ride him. First she had refused – most Dwarves went by foot or with giant goats, or maybe a pig or a big dog to pull the carts, but horses were a privilege – but Thorin had insisted and in the end Laurelin had accepted his offer. She had looked a bit ill at ease, during the first moments, but the pony she was feeding every day, as well as Thorin's reassuring presence at her side, leading the pony by the reins, had helped her to relax and to enjoy the experience. Thorin had been happy to see her smile, for once, as she talked to the pony in a childish voice, as if she were addressing a very small child. Thorin had noticed how pretty her smile was, and wondered with dread how long it would take for other men to notice it as well – it made her eyes sparkle as if somebody had lit a candle in them. And it had been good, too, to see her having fun. She had even laughed, that day – something that Thorin had not heard very often, during her years in his service. A sweet laughter, and after that Thorin had felt the urge to make her laugh again and again. The following days and weeks, he had sought her presence more and more often, because her laughter made him forget his own grief too.

Thorin smiled as he remembered it all, but Dis' worried look brought him back to reality.

**« I can't see Fili anywhere. » **she said, annoyed. **« I bet he's gotten into trouble again, as usual. I swear to you, Thorin, these two will be the death of me. »**

**« You love them, Dis. »** Thorin reminded her warmly.

**« Yes, I do. »** she admitted, smiling adoringly at her youngest.

In truth, Thorin liked them well enough, too. Well, Kili was still a bit too small – Thorin was always afraid to hurt him, with his big rough hands – but Fili was starting to get very interesting. He was full of energy and enthusiasm, but also strong-willed like a true heir of Durin. Thorin had shared a few good moments with him, during the journey since the boy had no father, he now looked up at his uncle, and Thorin was proud to have a part in Fili's life. The bond they were sharing was growing stronger by the day.

Dis strode away to look for her son, with Kili still in her arms. Thorin was left alone. Dust was dancing gracefully in a ray of sunlight.

He closed his eyes, and tried to imagine what this place would look like once it would be restored. In his mind, it looked very appealing. He had never wanted something as badly as he wanted this now.

It's the home we've all been craving for, for so long !

* * *

><p>When Laurelin walked back from the lake, carrying an armful of goatskins and flasks, she was hit by a blond tornado and almost dropped everything. She recognized Fili at once. His hair was messy, with twigs and dead leaves entangled in his braids, and his cheeks were red from running. His hands were covered in slimy brown mud, and Laurelin didn't even want to know where he had stuck them.<p>

The boy's smile died when he realized he had almost knocked down his uncle's maid.

**« Sorry. » **he muttered meekly, lowering his head.

**« It doesn't matter, little scoundrel. » **she said with a smile, before chuckling at his stricken face. She softly ruffled his hair. **« Where's your mother ? »** she asked, looking around, but she saw the Lady Dis nowhere.

**« With Uncle Thorin. »** Fili said in a small voice.

**« And why did you not stay with her, then ? »** Laurelin asked him gently, kneeling to be at eye level with him. She had spoken softly, yet the boy had taken her words for a rebuke and tears filled his big blue eyes.

Laurelin smiled reassuringly at him, and stroked his cheek.

**« Come with me, young Master Fili. » **she said. **« Your mother must be worried for you, don't you think ? Are we going to find her together, you and me ? »**

Fili nodded without a word, then he held out his hand. Laurelin grabbed it immediately, without caring for the mud on it.

The look on relief on Dis' face as she saw her son in safe hands was the proof that she had indeed benn very worried for him.

**« By Mahal, Fili, what were you thinking ? Running of like that, without even a word ? Do you know how afraid I was ? » **she scolded him sternly. Then she softened up when she saw tears rolling down his cheeks. She sighed.** « It's all right, sweetheart. Don't cry, now. Don't cry. I was worried for you, little one. What if something bad had happened to you ? » **She kissed him on his wet cheek, then she gave him a long hug. While the child was crying in her shoulder, she looked up at Laurelin. **« Thank you, »** she said gratefully. **« I don't know how to thank you, Laurelin. »**

**« You don't have to thank me. »** Laurelin replied, bowing respecfully.** « It's only natural. »**

**« No, dear, I owe you. And I won't forget it. »**

She released her eldest son, and stood up again. Then she nodded at Laurelin, gave the maid one last smile, and walked away with her boys. Fili turned around and waved Laurelin good-bye, his eyes still red from crying.

Laurelin lifted her own hand, smiled warmly at him and, then she entered the forge.

Thorin was still upstairs.

**« My King ? » **she called tentatively, looking up at the ceiling and wondering what creatures were lurking in the shadows upstairs. **« I am back with your flask, if you want to drink. I put it on the table. »**

A moment later, Thorin climbed down the stairs. They creaked under his weight, but they were obviously stronger than they looked.

**« Thank you, Laurelin. »** he said, rubbing the dust from his face with his sleeve.

**« Your nephew Fili is a lively little lad... » **she said, smiling.

**« Yes, he is. » **Thorin chuckled. **« A bit too lively for Dis' taste, sometimes. Within a few years, he'll start learning to ride ponies, and to wield a sword. Once day he'll be a proud warrior, just like his father – and his mother. »**

**« Will you teach him ? »**

**« Yes, probably. And Dwalin, too. And maybe Glafur,**** too. »**

**« I have to leave you, now. » **she said politely. **« I have to see if my grand-mother needs me. Call for me if you need me, my King, and if you don't, I will be back this evening to prepare dinner. »**

Thorin nodded slowly.

Laurelin bowed, and then she left the forge.


	7. MOURNING

When Laurelin woke up that morning, a week or so after their arrival in the village of the Blue Mountains, she sensed that something was wrong ; at first she didn't really understand what it was, then she understood what was missing and her heart filled with dread. Her grand-mother. Laurelin couldn't hear her grand-mother's heavy breathing in the bed next to hers. Everything was still and silent. Everything was cold.

_No._ Laurelin reflected. _It can't be true. Not now. Not yet. _

She opened her eyes, and stared at the lifeless shape under the blankets, next to her. She suddenly felt very cold, as if she was a corpse herself. Goose-bumps stood all over her arms. She wanted to get up, but her legs didn't obey her. So she closed her eyes again and waited. The horrible truth sank into her slowly._ She is dead, and now I am truly alone... They are gone... Everybody is gone... They left me here on my own... All of them... Just gone..._

When she had recovered some strengths at last, she tried to get up, just to fall on her knees as soon as she put some weight on her trembling legs. She crawled over to her grand-mother's bed, and cried on the old woman's chest. What would she do now ? How could she go on with her life, if there was no one at her side ?

She cried like she had never cried before, and when her tears ran dry at last, she had found some composure again. So her grand-mother was dead, but what exactly was she supposed to do, now ? She had never had to deal with such a situation before. She knew she would have to prepare the funeral ceremony, but she didn't even know where to begin. Being shy and rather reserved, she didn't have many friends, or many relations among her fellow Dwarves... And she didn't have much money, either... What little she had been able to put aside would probably not be enough, and what then ? She could not let her grand-mother here ! Of course not ! But how would she pay for a grave, with no money ? She kept repeating all these questions in her head, but no answer came to her.

_Calm down !_ She ordered herself. _Do something. Keep your hands busy, it will help you clear your mind._

Slowly, with trembling hands, she washed her grand-mother's face, and braided her thin grey hair, like she had done so many times before while the old woman was sick – the only difference was that this time she lay still and cold. She wouldn't mutter and grumble. She wouldn't sigh. She wouldn't move her eyes to follow each of Laurelin's movements, and she wouldn't smile the faintest of all smiles at the end, when everything was done. The young maid almost cried again, but she managed to keep her tears under control. Very carefully, she removed her grand-mother's shapeless sleeping robe and put her into her best dress. It was worn, its colours faded, but it gave the old woman a decent look, almost dignified. When she was finished with the last button, she grabbed their most beautiful blanket and used it to cover her grand-mother's body.

_That's one thing out of the way. _S_he _reflected, feeling a bit calmer now.

She closed her eyes, and allowed a ray of sun that shone throught the broken window to warm her up. She was frozen to the marrow of her bones, as if she had just bathed in a winter lake. She was still shivering.

And then she realized how late it was. She had not prepared Thorin's breakfast, nor prepared warm water for him to wash. She lovingly kissed her grand-mother on the forehead.

**« I promise you that I'll find a solution to give you a proper funeral. » **she said. **« No matter how many hours I will have to work, I will do it. For you. Because I love you, and I want you to rest in peace, grand-mother. »**

She all but ran to Thorin's forge. She was red-cheeks and panting by the time she arrived, and she apologized countless times for being so late.

**« You don't have to ask forgiveness. » **Thorin told her kindly, when he saw her so distressed. **« I know your life is a daily struggle, and you have to take care of your sick grand-mother. You can be assured, Laurelin, that I will never blame you for putting her first. She's the only member of your family you have still left, and it's natural you stay at her side when she needs you. That's more important than any work you could be doing for me. »**

As Thorin uttered the word grand-mother, Laurelin felt a wave of despair and nausea wash over her, and needed all her strengths to keep a straight face in front of him. She thanked him for his kindness, and started her first chores. She did everything as usual – she prepared a hasty breakfast for Thorin and cleaned the kitchen, swept the floor, gathered Thorin's dirty clothes from the day before, and prepared the meal for midday. But her mind was elsewhere, and she lacked her usual cheerfulness. She was sullen and silent, her eyes empty. Thorin realized something was wrong with her, but when he asked her what was bothering her, she just replied everything was fine. She was still too shocked, too afflicted to talk about it to anyone. Besides, she didn't want to annoy him with her problems he probably had better to do with his time than listening to her complaints. And all the while, her mind was still trying to work out a solution for the funeral.

* * *

><p>When the evening of this very long day came at last, it became too much for her. Moments ago she was still in control of her emotions, and then suddenly – as she cleaned the habitable parts of the forge before the night – something broke in her, like the breaking of a dam, leaving her utterly lost and panicked. She had reached the limit of what she could endure. She fell on her knees in the kitchen, and the old saucepan she had been holding in her hands fell on the floor, clanking loudly as it hits the uneven planking. She buried her face in her hands. Unable to hold back her sobs, she just cried on the floor, every tears as bitter and painful as an icy shard of steel in her heart. She didn't even care anymore if somebody could hear her. Nothing mattered anymore. The whole world had disappread around her, and nothing existed but the dark, bottomless pit of grief and despair in which she had fallen when she had realized her beloved grand-mother was dead.<p>

Thorin was in the workshop at that moment, to take an inventory of all the old tools he had found among the rubble and wreckage of the ruined forge, and to check if some of them were still usable in spite of the rust. He startled when he heard the noise coming from the kitchen, and understood Laurelin was still there ; he had believed her to be home already, yet obviously she was still busy in the kitchen. She had been a bit odd all day long, silent and morose, but every time Thorin had asked her about it she had answered in a dull voice that everything was fine. Thorin had supposed she was tired and worried, quite simply, because of course she would have told him if something bad had happened in her life, wouldn't she ?

_She has to go home, now, and to rest. She's done more than enough already. _Thorin thought.

He stepped over a pile of rotting wood, and walked into the kitchen. First he didn"t even see her, then suddenly he realized she was crouched on the floor, in a dark corner, with her face hidden in her hands. Her whole body was shaking as she sobbed. Thorin felt a pang of agony as he saw her like that – what happened ? Had somebody hurt her ? He felt ready to kill the one who had harmed her, truly kill him, with bare hands if need be.

Then he took a few steps that brought him closer to her, and saw that she didn't look wounded. Just distressed. Terribly, excruciatingly distressed. Her pain was so intense that it was painful to watch, even for a tough and hardened man like Thorin. He wanted to do something, but he wasn't sure whether he had anything to offer that could possibly soothe her.

**« Laurelin ? » **he called out very softly, but she didn't hear him. Thorin called her again, louder this time.

She startled and let out a small cry. As she recognized Thorin, she apologized immediately for making such a shameful spectacle of herself, and for bothering him with her problems, but as she tried to regain some countenance she just broke into sobs once more.

**« Shh, Laurelin... Calm down... » **he said very gently. **« What is wrong ? What happened ? Is there... did somebody hurt you? »**

Unable to answer, she just started crying even harder. She could barely breathe, even less talk, so Thorin just took her shaking hands in his own and stroked them gently, reassuringly. Then he decided to drop whatever formality was still left between them. He opened his arms and hugged her tight against his chest, and she didn't try to resist. She kept crying into his shoulder, unable to hold down her tears. Soon, Thorin's shirt was completely wet, but he didn't care. He felt her pain as if it was his own. She looked utterly heart-broken Thorin understood she was not just crying over a mere trifle, yet he didn't press her for answers as held her against him. He knew he would get them once she would have calmed down, so he just waited with his arms around her, doing his best to offer her the comfort she so desperately needed.

When her sobs calmed down at last, her eyes were red and puffy. She looked up at Thorin.

**« It's... She... » **He voice was hoarse, barely more than a whisper. **« My grand-mother... »**

Thorin didn't need to hear any more to undestand.

**« Oh Laurelin, I'm so sorry. » **he said. **« Please accept my most sincere apologies. » **Laurelin nodded, unable to say any more. Her fingers closed on Thorin's shirt in despair.** « Laurelin, this morning... when you were late... was it because of your grand-mother's death... Were you... When you came to me this morning, you already knew she had died ? Why didn't you tell me ? » **He realized his words may sound like a rebuke, so he softened up. **« Laurelin, for Mahal's sake ! »** he whispered softly, rubbing her back with one hand. **« You should have told me. Keeping something so horrible for yourself all day long must have been awful... »**

He couldn't believe she hadn't said a word about it, and he couldn't understand why.

Laurelin sniffed loudly.

**« It's... it's just that... »** She hesitated. She was so distressed that she probablu didn't really knew why herself. **« T... talking about it would have made it real. »** she finally muttered.** « As long as I was the only one to know, I could just... I just push it out of my mind, and act as if nothing had happened... Ignore the truth and fool myself into believing she was still alive... » **She buried her face in Thorin's shoulder again. **« Once everybody will know about it... then it will be real. »** she repeated.** « I won't be able to pretend anymore... »**

**« Denial will bring you only small comfort, Laurelin. »** he answered, still rubbing her back in slow circles. **« When... when you are faced with such unbearable pain, the only way to overcome it is to accept the truth, and confront it. »**

**« I can't. » **she cried.

**« You can. » **Thorin said confidently. **« It may sound hard, for now, and you may think you won't be able to survive your grief, but you are young and you are strong and you will eventually feel better again some day – with time. » **

They didn't move for a long time, and when Laurelin felt strong enough to get up at last, her legs were weak and trembling.

**« Let me walk you home, please. »** Thorin suggested, stretching out his arm so that she could lean on it to steady herself, and Laurelin had neither the strength nor the courage, right now, to refuse his help.

The air was fresh outside, and Laurelin shivered. The moon was bright in the dark sky, casting a blafard light on Thorin and Laurelin as they walked together in the streets of the villlage. Soon, they reached Laurelin's small house. They entered together. Instinctively, without thinking, Laurelin walked over to her grand-mother's bed, and started crying again as he saw her still face.

Thorin joined her, and took her hand in his again.

**« I... I knew it could happen any moment. » **she said in a weak voice. **« She was old and sick, but... but it's still... it's just... »**

**« Expecting something to happen and seeing it happening for real are two very different things. »** Thorin said gently. **« Of course you're suffering. You loved her, and she loved you, and you will always miss her sorely. »**

**« To her it was probably a relief. »** Laurelin continued. **« She was in pain... every day... and she hated being a burden for me... She never told me so, but I saw it in her eyes... Now she's free, and she will never suffer again, and I should be happy for her, but... »**

**« Death is always hardest for those who are left behind. »** he said, squeezing her hand to comfort her.

She sighed, and nodded.

**« Can... Can I ask you something ? »**

**« You're welcome, Laurelin. »**

**« I wish... I don't want to be alone, tonight... Particularly not in this house, with my dead grand-mother... and all the memories... I can't... It's too hard... »**

**« My home is a poor one, for the moment, but you will always be welcome there. »** he assured her. **« Always, Laurelin. »**

He squeezed her hand one last time, then he let go.

Laurelin nodded, then she decided to open up and to ask him something that had been bothering her all day.

**« Thorin, how... how much gold do you think I will need to pay for her funeral ? » **Then she realized she sounded as if she asked him to pay for it, and she hastily added : **« I do have some gold, and I don't ask for anything. But I just want to know what I will be able to afford, exactly... »**

**« Don't worry about this tonight. »** he said. **« Let's leave your grand-mother, for now. You need sleep. I think Dis has got some Carmely leaves left in her chest, so we'll just prepare you some tea and then you will be able to rest for a few hours. And tomorrow, I will be happy to go with you for the formalities regarding the funeral. I think it's better you are not alone – if you want my company, of course. I know some people need privacy. If this is your case, tell me and I will leave you to deal with this in your own way. »**

She hesitated for a long while before answering.

**« I would greatly enjoy your presence at my aisde. »** she said. **« Thank you, my King. It is very generous of you. »**

A few moments later, they walked back to the forge together. Thorin found a few blankets for Laurelin, and settled her as comfortably as possible in spite of the rudimentary living conditions. She thanked him politely, and gave him a warm smile.

Thorin walked out of the house and came back a few moments later, with a bunch of dried yellow leaves in hs hands. He insisted to prepare the tea himself, in spite of Laurelin's protestations, then he sat next to her and made her drink her tea to the very last drop. When the bowl was empty, Thorin made sure Laurelin was comfortable, and he stayed at her side till she fell asleep.

The last thing she saw before she closed her eyes was Thorin's caring face, and his blue eyes filled with compassion. Already half-asleep, she thanked him one last time in a feeble voice, then she closed her eyes and allower herself to drift into sleep.

Thorin pulled the blanket over her, and watched her sleep for a few moments. The tea would offer her the dreamless sleep she so badly needed already, her features looked relaxed, almost serene. She was breathing slowly and deeply.

**« Good night, Laurelin. » **he whispered softly, before walking away to let her rest.

* * *

><p>When Laurelin woke up, she realized she had slept the whole night ithout waking up once, thanks to Thorin's Carmely tea. At first, everything was a bit dizzy and confused in her head she couldn't believe that her grand-mother was truly dead, and that she had spent the night in Thorin's house. She didn't lose any time, though she got up and immediately started preparing Thorin's breakfast, but it was hard for her to concentrate on her tasks. She was already dreading what would follow, later that day day - preparing the funeral, adn then the funeral itself. Saying farewell to her grand-mother. Leaving behind the last member of her family. She felt her throat tighten up, and hot tears welled up in her eyes once more, but she still managed to finish off her tasks.<p>

When Thorin came home, everything was ready for him, the food already waiting on the table.

**« Good morning, Laurelin. » **he said, looking worriedly at her.** « Are you feeling better, this morning ? »**

She nodded bravely, but Thorin guessed she was only pretending.

**« Good morning, my King. »** She forced a smile on her lips. **« At least I didn't bother you during the night. » **she added.** « Your tea was particularly effective. I slept like a baby all night, without waking up once. »**

Thorin put his hand on her shoulder, very gently.

**« You never bother me. » **he said amiably. **« Yet I am glad to hear the tea allowed you to sleep, because you will need all your strengths. Today is going to be a difficult day. First we will have to go and see several people to talk about the funeral arrangements. DO you feel strong enough to do this, Laurelin ? »**

**« If I don't do it, nobody will. » **she said, resigned.

**« I will come with you, of course, as promised. I know how distressed one can be, after such a terrible loss, and how hard it is to take decisions. »**

**« It is very generous of you, my King. »** she said once more. **« But your time is precious, especially now when there is so much work to repair the forge... »** She lowered her gaze and stared at her feet.

**« My work can wait a day or two. »** Thorin reassured her. **« I don't think the forge will run away if I neglect her for a shot while. »**

**« Thank you. » **she whispered gratefully, in a very shy voice **« You... you are very kind. »**

**« It's only natural. »**

Thorin ate his breakfast, and insisted Laurelin ate too she wasn't hungry at all, and eating from the King's own table made her feel very uncomfortable – she had prepared this food for him, not for herself – but Thorin was too stubborn for Laurelin and in the end she gave in. She sat down at the table, and forced a slic of bread down her throat, as well as a tiny piece of hard cheese and a gulp of goat milk.

When she was finished, Thorin told her to leave the dishwashing, for now. She hated leaving the house so messy, but here again he insisted.

They spent the morning and a good part of the afternoon talking to different Dwarves first the stonemason, a short and gruff Dwarf with a bulky nose, who told them – with genuine sympathy – that it was impossible for him to build a coffin. He had no material, and he had sold his tools during the trip, to buy food and more vital items. Then they went to Margaela's house – if the ruin she lived in could truly be called a house – and found an arrangement with her for a few coppers, she agreed to anoint the deceased's body with the traditional scented oils, and say the ritual prayers that would help the old woman's soul to reach Mahal's Halls, where she would meet her creator. After this, they still had to visit several other Dwarves – who would have guessed a funeral involved so many persons ? But Laurelin was so ill at ease that she barely opened her mouth. She knew it was her grand-mother they were talking about, yet all she could do was standing at Thorin's side and listening to what he was saying. It all sounded so unreal, as if she were in the middle of some horrible nightmare. And when they were done at last with the dreadful task of preparing the funeral, she had already forgotten most of what they had been talking about, as if her mind was unable to keep any information. She hated herself for being so weak, and she was sure that Thorin – who had just spent the morning helping her more than was reasonable – now saw her as a complete moron,

When they were back at the forge, Laurelin burst into sobs once more when she saw her empty purse she had parted with every coin she had saved, to the last copper. And it had been barely sufficient for a small, very humble funeral. Nothing grandiose, nothing remarkable. The brave old woman would, have deserved so much more.

Thorin took the purse out of Laurelin's shaking hands, and put it aside.

**« It's not the amount of gold you spent for her funeral that matters, » **he said comfortingly. **« What really counts is the love you have given her, every day of her life. This is what ****everybody will remember, and – more importantly – that's what ****_she_**** remembered when she closed her eyes for the last time : your love, and your devotion, and the tenderness in your eyes every time you looked at her. »**

She nodded meekly.

When the afternoon turned into evening, they went to her own house. She exchanged a few words with Margaela, then both the woman and Thorin left to give Laurelin some privacy while she said farewell to her grand-mother. The young maid opened the small wooden chest where her grand-mother used to store her small possessions, and found her wedding ring her fingers had swollen during the last years so the old woman had removed it, but Laurelin decided she would be buried with it, as an homage to the love she had shared with her late husband. She placed the ring into her grand-mother's stiff hands, and it's only when a tear splattered on her cold skin that Laurelin realized she was crying again.

**« I will always love you. »** she whispered, stroking her grand-mother's hair. Laurelin had braided it the day before, but Margaela had adorned it with rune-covered stones. **« I am so sorry, my dear grand-mother... So sorry for everything you had to endure, these last years... You would have deserved a quiet end, but... » **She kissed her grand-mother on the forehead. **« You will never be forgotten. You will be in my heart every day of my life, to my very last breath. »**

She fell on her knees, and let the tears flow.

_She is with my parents, now. And with her beloved husband. They are all reunited now, and never again will she wake up in the middle of the night because the pain had become unbearable. Her spirit is free, now._

An hour later, when she had regained some countenance, she went through her grand-mother's belongings. There was not much her knitting needles, a collection of tiny coloured rocks, and a faded ribbon that used to belong to her daughter, Laurelin's mother. The young maid smiled as she pictured her mother as a sweet, innocent and carefree little girl with ribbons in her dark hair and a broad smile on her round face.

**« You must have loved her so much, to keep this ribbon during all these years... »** she whispered in a broken voice.

She couldn't even imagine how much the old woman had suffered when she had seen that same daughter burn in Smaug's fire.

_Don't think about this now, _she chided herself._ It will only make everything worse._

And she found the necklace, too. The only valuable family heritage her grand-mother could pass on to her. She pulled it out of the chest, and pressed it against her heart before binding it around her neck.

It was at this moment that Thorin knocked at the door, and entered.

**« Laurelin, is everything all right ? » **he asked. **« You've been alone in here for a very long time. I was worried. »**

She smiled softly at him, and aplogogized for making him wait so long, then she explained how badly she had needed this time alone with her grand-mother. She showed him the necklace, too, and told him it had been in her family for several hundreds of years, going from one generation to the next. It was very simple, just a small golden chain with a bird-shaped pendant of shining black onyx, but Laurelin was very proud of it as she showed it to her king.

**« It's very beautiful. »** Thorin said, yet Laurelin doubted his words. He was raised as a prince, with unlimited access to the gold-filled halls of Erebor. Laurelin's necklace was no more than a bauble, comparing to the glittering jewels that used to belong to the royla family of Erebor.

**« I suppose it not much, to your eyes. » **she said humbly. **« But for me... It is worth more than all the gold in Erebor. »** A sweet smile stretched her lips. She wanted him to know how much she loved her family, and how proud she was of her roots. She didn't need much more than that to be truly happy.

Thorin stretched out his hand to touch the black bird with the tip of his big fingers. Laurelin blushed shyly.

**« Some of the miners believe that the onyx protects against negative thoughts. »** he told her, smiling. **« They say it will help its bearer to keep the sadness or anger at bay, and to concentrate on happier feelings. »**

Laurelin smiled and slipped the pendant under her robes, where it rested against her chest, right over her heart. It made her feel a bit better, a bit stronger, as if she kept a small part of her grand-mother's spirit with her by wearing the necklace. She stroked the old woman's cheek one last time, and breathed in the small of the sacred oils.

**« Farewell. » **she whispered.

Thorin offered her his arm, and she gladly took it to steady herself as they walked together to the small cave where she would be buried it was no more than a narrow crevice in the stone, not far from the village, but since the gound was too hard to dig without the appropriate tools – which they didn't have – it would have to do. As soon as they had arrived, though, Laurelin let go of Thorin's arm before anybody else could come and see them like that she didn't want to shame him or to make him look ridiculous in front on any of his subjects. They waited oustide, side by side but with a respectable distance between them, as the sun slowly disappeared between two snow-covered peaks. Soon they were joined by Dis, who hugged Laurelin with sympathy as she offered her condolences. Laurelin thanked her heartily for taking the time to come she was so touched to see both members of the royal family standing at her side that she had tears in her eyes. It meant so much, to her. A few other people gathered slowly around them, as well some were merely curious, but others used to be acquaintances of hergrand-mother. Laurelin greeted and thanked everybody as they came, but she couldn't bring herself to smile.

A few moments later, Margaela joined them, followed by six sturdy Dwarves who carried the makeshift pallet on which her grand-mother's body had been placed. She had been wrapped in a thick white shroud.

They carried the pallet into the small cave the entrance was very narrow, but after a few steps it grew large enough for everybody to gather inside. The six Dwarves put the pallet on the ground, in the middle of the cave. Then it was Margaela's turn to enter, followed by a chorus of young children who sang the sacred songs of the gods. They were clad in white, and their hair hung freely around their faces as their clear and soft voices echoed between the walls of the cave.

_They sound like angels,_ Laurelin reflected, her eyes filling with tears again. She couldn't remember paying for a chorus – had she not refused Maegeala when the woman had made this suggestion ? – so she looked up at Thorin, puzzled.

**« I wanted to make her this honour. » **he said simply, with a caring smile.

Laurelin was far too touched by this attention to answer she opened her mouth to say something, but the words refused to come out of her tight throat, so she just looked him straight into the eyes, with an intensity she had never felt before. She hoped it would be enough to convey all the gratitude she was feeling.

Thorin smiled at her – such a soft, caring smile that Laurelin suddenly felt a bit less cold, as if somebody had just wrapped her in a warm blanket.

Then she nodded slowly, her emotion so strong it was palpable.

When the voices of the children died down, Margaela said the traditional prayers, in a loud and beautiful voice. Laurelin listened to her words with reverence, her eyes riveted to her grand-mother's still shape. Thorin was still standing at her side as tears ran silently down her soft, beardless cheeks he was ready to help her if need be, but he didn't want to intrude either. Saying goodbye to a beloved one was a very personal, very intimate moment, and he didn't want to ruin everything with a misplaced word or an awkward action. He knew that for Laurelin, this burial would be an essential part in recovering from her grand-mother's death.

When Margaela was finished, everybody walked slowly out of the small cave. Laurelin looked up at Thorin, and he understood the young woman needed one last moment alone with her grand-mother. She waited till everybody was gone, then she knelt next to the body to say a few prayers of her own. It didn't take her very long, and then she felt ready to leave her grand-mother alone – for the very last time.

**« One day, we'll see each other again, » **she whispered, as she got on her feet again.

The she walked out, very slowly, wiping away her tears with the sleeves of her dress. Night had fallen, outside. She startled when she saw Thorin waiting for her, no more than a dark silhouette in the velvety summer night she had expected him to go home, like all the others, but instead he had chosen to stay. His concern touched her so much that new tears came to her eyes. She tried to thank him, but once more her emotions were too strong and she couldn't say a single word, just look at him gratefully.

Thorin nodded and smiled gently.

The six Dwarves who had carried the body started to close the narrow opening of the cave with roughly shaped rocks and mortar, in the light of a dozen flickering torches.

Laurelin and Thorin walked back to the village together. Laurelin's hand was on Thorin's arm once more, because her legs were still a bit too weak to carry her. They walked slowly and it took them long to reach the first houses, yet Laurelin enjoyed the physical activity, after such a long hard day the air was fresh, and the scent of the blossoming mountain flowers filled the air. It was very pleasant. It made her feel alive, and truly clear-minded for the first time since the moment she had found her grand-mother dead in her bed. Most of the flowers growing here were different from those growing around Erebor, but Laurelin found a few familiar species that brought back happy memories of the past, when she still had a family – like the day her mother had made her a crown of wildflowers, when Laurelin had been no more than a pretty, laughing little girl. Thorin's comforting and reassuring presence at her side seemed to keep the sad memories at bay, at least for now.

They went past the first houses, and walked along several overgrown streets, then they reached Laurelin's home.

**« No need for you to come working, tomorrow. » **he told her. **« I supposed you are exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Take a day or two to rest, and to recover from everything that happened, all right ? »**

**« I am exhausted. »** she admitted. **« But staying home all day, alone, with nothing to do but to think about my grand-mother, will not bring me any relief. It will just make everything worse. I need... I need something to distract my mind. I need activities. »**

**« I can understand that. » **he said sympathetically. **« If this is what you want – or need – then I will be glad to see you tomorrow. »**

She nodded.

**« It's hard, but in a certain way it's a relief. »** she said suddenly, without knowing why exactly she told him this. **« I... I've been dreading this moment for so long... Day after day, month after month, for so many years, I lived with the fear of losing her... It was like a dark cloud hanging over my head, an ordeal I knew I would inevitably have to suffer some day... Now, at least, it's over. »** She had talked in a shy and hesitant voice. She paused, then she took a deep breath and continued. She had talked in a shy and hesitant voice. She paused, then she took a deep breath and continued, looking Thorin straight into the eyes.** « Thank you, my King. Thank you for everything. »**

She remembered everything he had done today his caring voice, the sympathy in his blue eyes, the way he had stayed at her side all day, all his small attentions for her and her grand-mother... inluding the chorus of children, that he had bought with his own gold. All of this this was more precious to Laurelin that any gold or treasure...

**« You remember after the battle of the Moria, when we all came home wounded and dejected ? You remember how hard it was for me ? And you remember what you told me ? You told me about what your mother used to say to you, when you were little. »**

**« Yes, I remember. »** she said softly.

**« That day, Laurelin, your words were a balm to my sore heart, and talking to you helped me to feel better. »** Thorin continued.** «You have no idea how much I am grateful for all you did for me, not only on this day, but every day since I have hired you, so long ago. And now, today, you are the one in pain, and I hope I will be able to do for you what you did for me. I want my words to soothe your pain, and I want to be the friend you were for me. »** He smiled at her. **« So now let me tell you something my own mother used to tell me, when I was younger : **_Your grief clouds your vision right now, and you may think that the world is all grey and sad, and you may think it will remained so forever – but it will get better, some day. The dark clouds will vanish, and you will see the sun again, and it will shine even brighter than it did before. _**And she was right, Laurelin. Right now you can't think about something else than your grand-mother's dead, and it'so only natural since it's so recent. But slowly, day after day, time will wash away your pain. It will wash away the dark clouds. »** He paused, and put his hand on Laurelin's shoulder. **« Today you have cried a lot. Tomorrow you may still cry, but not as often as today. And the day after, you will cry even less, and so on, till one day you will realized, as you go to bed, that you didn't cry at all. You will start smiling again, Laurelin. You won't recover in one day, not even in ten days, but you are young and strong and you will recover, I can assure you that. And in the meanwhile, I will be here, at your side, to offer you my arm and my comfort as often as you need it. You are not alone in this world, and you will never be. »**

A single tear clung to Laurelin's thick lashes, before running down her cheek, but it was not a tear of sadness. Just emotion. She had listened to each and every one of his words with rapt attention, and they had definitely striked a chord. She wanted to believe him. She needed to believe him, to believe in the hope he had wakened in her with his words.

**« Thank you. » **she said sofly, looking him into the eyes. A smile blossomed on her soft lips. **« It feels good to know that there is someone I can... someone I can truly trust. »**

Thorin's hand squeezed Laurelin's shoulder.

**« I will never let you down when you are in need of help, or comfort, or anything else... » **he said, with a touching sincerity.

Her smiled widened, and hope shone in her big, brown eyes.

**« Thank you. » **she repeated, at a loss for anything else to say.

He watched her intently for a while, then he gave her one last hug before leaving her house to go back to his own home.

Laurelin watched him walk away from her doorstep. She didn't think she would have made it through this trial if he had not been there to support her. The more she knew Thorin, the more she appreciated the man that was hiding behind the glorious title of King he was handsome, and a fierce fighter, and the best leader they could hope for... He was also one of the best armourer amongst their people... But what made him truly remarkable was his kindness, and his compassion, and his generostiy. Laurelin was no more than a mere serving girl, yet he had done everything in his power – he had given up on all his other duties – just to be with her on this difficult day. Not many men, noble or lowborn, would have acted like that, without expecting anything in return.

Once Thorin had disappeared into the night, she entered the house and closed the door behind her. Everything felt dead and empty, wthout her grand-mother, yet somehow Laurelin didn't cry, this time. She was still sad, of course, but not as overwhelming as it used to be earlier this day somehow Thorin had found a way to make it easier to bear, easier to live with. She still remembered how safe and comforted she had felt when he had hugged her – her face against his shoulder, and his strong arms around her, and the warmth of his sturdy body against her own trembling body... She wished he had never let go.

It was the first time since Erebor's fall, and the death of her parents, that she had felt so safe.

* * *

><p>When Thorin reached his home, he undressed and slipped hastily into his night clothes and fell on his bed, exhausted – but he couldn't sleep. He kept tossing and turning in his bed, till the blankets were a mess. The day had been long and hard, not only for Laurelin, but also for him. He truly cared about her, and seeing her so distressed all day long had been awful. He had done his best to give her comfort, and obviously she had reacted quite positively to his touch – he still remembered how she had relaxed when he had rubbed her back, or how she had gripped his shirt with both hands when he had hugged her... But he was not sure he had done enough, and he knew she was still crying, and it was agony for him to imagine her in her own bed, all alone, crying herself to sleep in an empty house. For a moment, he considered getting up again and going to see her, then he realized it might be seen as highly inappropriate to visit her in the middle of the night. He didn't want to make her feel ill at ease. She had suffered enough for today.<p>

It was almost early morning when he fell asleep at last, hoping tomorrow would be a better day, for Laurelin and for him.

_She had endured so much, and no one more than her deserved to see better days._


	8. A PLACE TO CALL HOME

When Thorin emptied the last wheelbarrow of rubble, he sighed in relief. _Finished, at last !_ He had spent the whole day clearing away old bricks, rotten planks and other debris that cluttered the old forge. He was sore and exhausted, but at least tthe forge looked clean and well-ordered, now, and he felt an intense feeling of satisfaction. There was still a lot of work to do – like rebuilding some walls, or repairing the forging oven – but it was a good start. Soon, very soon, he would be able to start working iron and steel again, and earn some money. He was so impatient. After being barely more than a beggar for so long, the prospect of being a well-established, wealthy Dwarf again was making him shiver with anticipation.

He stretched his aching back, clenching his teeth against the pain. His hands were covered in blisters from pushing around the wheelbarrow, and some of them were now open and bloody. _Enough for today,_ he decided.

It was summer and the days were long, so the sun was still shining outside when he left the forge to reach the habitable parts. Laurelin was outside, taking down the dry laundry from the lines – he could see her through the window – so he was completely alone. He sat into the nearest chair, silently making a list of everything he still needed to start working in the forge some tools, and raw material. He would have to spend to his very last coin, to buy all this in the villages of the men, down in the valley he was a bit afraid – he would have nothing left at all, if something really bad happened – but on the other side he had no choice. He sighed. He would also have to hire someone, if he wanted to run the forge properly. Someone who would help him with the forge of course, by keeping the fire alive or drawing water from the well, or handing him the tools he needed when he couldn't move from his anvil that person would also be responsible for cleaning the place at night, or buying material, or welcoming the clients and negotiating with them, or to do the book-keeping... It would not be exhausting work, yet it would have to be done. Thorin couldn't do everything himself. Ideally, this person could even move into the forge, upstairs, to be on the spot every hour of the night and day. The house was big enough.

Thorin sighed again, and watched Laurelin, who was done with the laundry now. More than once, he had thought about her, because he already knew her well and he knew she was clever, resourceful and reliable. She would be perfect to help him in his trade, yet it would mean even more work for her, and Thorin did not want to impose this on her. He would have to ask her in such a way that she doesn't feel forced to accept, and that was not easy – so he just pushed it out of his mind, for now. He would have time to think about it later.

Yet the idea never really left his mind. Every time he saw her enter the forge to bring him water or food, every time he saw her pick up a tool or sweep coal dust, he wondered what she would think of helping him in his trade.

_One day I will really have to ask her, _he knew it.

A few days later, when he left the village to buy what he needed from the humans in the valley below, with Balin and a few others, he asked Laurelin to come with him. Surprised, she had accepted nonetheless. In fact, Thorin didn't truly need her at his side – he had Balin for advice - but he wanted to evaluate her interests for the trade. Depending on her reactions, Thorin would know if he should or should not ask her to work with him on a daily basis. He took her along in every shop, in every smithy, taking the time to explain to her the basic principles of the art of forging he took her along as he negotiated for the price of raw material, and even as he charged his purchases in the cart. He told her what he needed and why he needed it, how to evalutate the quality of raw steel, or how to make the difference between good tools and cheap junk. Laurelin listened raptly to his every word, and by the time they reached home again, Thorin was pleasantly surprised when he realized she remembered everything.

Laurelin would do, Thorin was convinced about it now. All that remained for him to do was to find the courage to ask her.

Days and weeks went by, without any notable changes in their lives. Laurelin came early in the morning to prepare Thorin's breakfast, then she worked all day long, as she always did. Every day, she also found the time to pick wild flowers in the alpine meadows surrounding the village, to put in front of the narrow cave where her grand-mother was buried. She said a few prayers, then she returned to the forge to finish her work there. In the evening, she usually spent a few moments watching Thorin work on his swords and battle axes, and listening to him as he explained to her what he was doing. She was a quick learner, and very soon she knew enough to have a real, technical conversation with Thorin about his trade. Then, at last, when the sun sank behind the mountains, she walked home alone, very proud of this new knowledge she was building up. Life was quiet enough – quiet and reassuring – except on the days when Dis and the boys came to visit them, of course ; Fili and Kili were loud and boisterous, making everybody laugh with their antics.

In the village, the other Dwarves were slowly rebuilding their own houses, stone after stone. Most of them were very enthusiastic, and sometimes they were so eager to finish that they worked late into the night, at the light of torches of oil lamps. Some houses soon started to look quite dashing, with painted shutters and pretty flowerbeds and brand new tiles. Most of the Dwarves were very skilled with their hands, and had started earning some money by selling their artifacts to the humans who lived in the valley ; they seemed to be rather fond of these objects, and were ready to pay to acquire them, so the standard of living increased slightly for the survivors of Erebor. The toy-makers were particularly successful, as well as the wood-carvers. The mines had been rehabilitated, too ; the humans had only abandoned them because they were too dangerous, but they were still full of iron ore, and copper. Mainly copper. And the Dwarves being exceptional miners, they knew how to dig deeper and deeper without causing any accident. Life was still hard and rudimentary, but it was starting to get better.

Thorin himself sold a few swords here and there, but crafting weapons was not asy ; each sword, each axe blade, each tiny piece of an armour or chain-mail required a lot of time, and a lot of hard work. Even if he got up at the break of dawn and toiled till the sun went down again, he couldn't produce many of them, so the money still ran rather low for him ; he was still far from the wealth he had dreamed about during the very first days – he didn't even earn enough money to pay Laurelin full wages – but he knew that with time it would get better so he just kept working hard, day after day.

_I am a son of Durin's line, and I won't give up so easily._ He told himself every night, when he fell on his bed so exhausted that he didn't even remember what it felt like to be truly rested.

* * *

><p>One afternoon, as Laurelin was working in the small garden behind the forge – it brought them fresh vegetables, as much as a small additional income – she saw thick dark clouds gathering in the sky. The air was stifling hot, and she was covered in sticky sweat from head to toes part of her hoped for a thunderstorm that would bring some rain and relief from the heat, but another part of her was afraid, as usual when there was a thunderstorm. She always felt small and helpless and vulnerable when she had to watch the nature unleash her fury. She quickly gathered her beans, then she entered into the forge. She felt slightly safer when she was between the strong stone walls of the house. She prepared Thorin's dinner, feeling a bit nervous but doing her best to concentrate on her tasks.<p>

Night had fallen when the thunderstorm broke out. Rain was pouring down from the angry sky, and whipping the closed shutters of the forge. The wind was howling like a mad beast from hell, outside. More than once, Laurelin wondered if the forge would be able to withstand the storm, or if the walls would just collapse onto her head, burying her under a heap of rubble. But she didn't want Thorin to see her like a silly, frightened little mouse, so she just clenched her teeth and tried to hide her fears as best as she could.

**« I don't want you to go out by this weather. » **Thorin told her gently. **« It's too dangerous. When I went out to feed the pony, I saw a gust of wind rip a tree from the gound, as if the tree were no more than a twig. You better stay here, where it's warm and safe. I have enough blankets, and more than enough space upstairs. »**

**« Thank you. » **she answered, relieved.** « I have to admit I was really afraid to go outside. »**

**« You're welcome. » **Then he smiled. **« I've caught the beast that nested upstairs, so you won't have to be afraid of that either. » **he added in a friendly voice. **« It was a marten. I caught it a few hours ago. You can chose yourself whatever room suits you best. »**

**« With all due respect, my King, I'd rather sleep here, next to the fire, than in a cold dusty room upstairs. »** she said shyly. Thorin's bedroom had been cleaned and restored, but the others chambers were still untouched, full of dust and spiders and mouldy carpets.

Thorin shrugged.

**« Of course. » **he answered, smiling.** « Nothing's better than sleeping in the warmth of a crackling fire, when such a storm is raging outside. » **He stretched, and got up. **« If there is anything else you need, please help yourself. You don't need to ask. » **He took a few steps, then he turned to Laurelin one last time. Even if she had acted as if nothing was wrong during the whole evening, he had sensed she was somewhat nervous, but he couldn't quite grasp just _how much_ she was frightened. **« Are you are all right ?****»**

**«Yes, my King. »** she said bravely, putting a fake smile on her lips.

She didn't want to sound whiny or childish – she was a grown woman, now, after all, and grown women are not supposed to be frightened of a mere thunderstorm. She knew Thorin would not laugh at her, but she was still afraid she would drop in his esteem if he saw how afraid she was. Secretly, she hoped he would stay with her for a while – the company of another human being was what she truly craved for – but she didn't say a word. She just watched Thorin climb the stairs after he bid her good-night. At first she heard his heavy steps upstairs, then there was nothing but the howling wind outside and the rain splattering against the shutters. She shivered, but did her best to keep the fear at bay as she prepared her makeshift bed on the floor. When she was done, she slipped under the blankets and closed her eyes, but every thunderbolt made her startle.

After a while, though, Laurelin heard Thorin's feet over her head once more. She wondered what he was up to, then she realized he was heading towards the stairs ; several seconds later, she heard the steps creak under his weight as he came down again.

**« ****Laurelin, are you sure you are all right ?****»** he asked, looking her into the eyes. He was still wearing his trousers, but he was barefoot and he already wore his night-shirt. His long black hair was unbraided, hanging down his back and around his face in long dark strands.

Laurelin tried to avoid his gaze, because she knew one look would be enough for him to guess how terrified she was, but then he knelt at her side and put two fingers under her chin, very gently, to make her look up. When their eyes met, she saw nothing but kindness in Thorin's blue eyes. She relaxed slightly.

**« I****t's just wind and rain. ****»** he told her reassuringly. **« ****They may sound frightening, but they can't hurt you here. There's not reason to be afraid.****»**

He put his hand on her shoulder, and smiled at her.

**« ****Of course.** **»**she said, but at this precise moment a tree was struck by lightning not far away, and she let out a small shout.

Thorin squeezed her shoulder.

**« ****This house has been standing for centuries. ****»** he told her. **« ****Even when it was empty and untended, it endured many storms without falling down. Now that I have strengthened the walls and the roof, nothing will be able to destroy it. Nothing. ****»**

Laurelin nodded.

**« ****Thank you, my King.****»** she said shyly. **« ****For coming back... It's just... I know I may sound silly, but I don't like thunderstorms,** **and it's the first time in my life that I am alone during one of them... It's just...****»**

She sighed, and remembered how her grand-mother used to tell her tales of old, to keep her mind away from what was happening outside.

**« ****You're not alone.****»** he answered. **« ****Dis was afraid of thunderstorms, too, when she was younger. Then she learned to wield a sword, and from that moment she declared she would never be afraid of anything again. ****»** He smiled fondly as he recalled Dis as a little girl. **« ****Maybe I should teach you how to use a sword, too.****»** He joked, smiling at Laurelin.

**«** **I'm not a fighter.****»** she answered. The prospect of killing and spilling blood was horrifying, to her eyes. **« ****I don't think I am brave enough to do such things as your sister does.****»**

**« ****Going to battle with a blade in your hand is not the only form of courage.****»** Thorin pointed out. **«****Waking up every morning and finding the strength to smile when all your beloved ones are dead takes an incredible amount of courage, too.****»**

By the intense way he was looking at her, she understood he was talking about her. She didn't know what to answer to that, so she said nothing. She just nodded, and looked warily at the shutters. The wind was already starting to lose in intensity, and the downpour of rain had almost stopped ; the only sound that came from outside was the soft spattering of summer rain on the ground, and the barking of a dog somewhere in the village.

**« ****Thank you, my King.****»** she repeated. **« ****I think I will be all right, now.****»** He frowned at her. **« ****Truly. The worst is over. I think I will be able to sleep, now.****»**

This time Thorin nodded, and got up. Laurelin's shoulder felt very cold where the man's hand had been moments earlier.

**« ****Good night,Laurelin. Sleep well.****»**

**« ****Good night, my King.****»**

She settled as comfortably as possible between her blankets, and heaved a deep sigh. A few moments later, she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore.

While Laurelin was slowly drifting into sleep downstairs, Thorin tossed and turned in his bed. Seeing her so frightened by a thunderstorm had come as a surprise, for him ; he couldn't imagine how somebody like Laurelin, who had suffered so many hardships these last decades, could still be so afraid of a harmless thunderstorm ? But far from making her look ridiculous, Thorin had been pleased to see that the soft side of her had not been completely destroyed by all the difficulties they had faced lately. No matter the grief or the pain, Laurelin was still as gentle-hearted as she had always been. She had toughened up, of course, but without getting mean or bitter or full of resentment, like some of the others Dwarves. It was a great quality, it showed as strong she truly was, and Thorin genuinely admired her for it. Which led him back to the one question that was bothering him : Should he truly ask her to come and live here, with him .

He had no doubts left about Laurelin : he knew she would be perfect to help him with the forge. She had everything he was looking for in his partner. Yet every time he had been about to ask her about it, he had cowered and let her go without talking to her. He didn't even know why he hesitated to much. In truth, there was no reason at all to be so afraid. Yet he kept wondering – _what if she feels embarrassed, or offended by my proposal ? What if she refuses ? And what if she accepts ? Will she be able to cope with additonal work, on top of everything else she's already doing ? How will it feel, to have her live in my house ? Will we be able to get along, or will our realtionship turn bitter after barely a few months ? And what will people think about it ? _He was not really afraid for himself – he didn't care what people might of might not say about him when he had his back turned – but he didn't want Laurelin to become the target of mean gossip amongst the other Dwarves. Besides, Thorin had never shared his space with anybody else, not even with his little sister Dis. This situation would be completely new to him, and it made him a bit uncomfortable to think about such a closeness.

Then, on the other side, he remembered how sweet and gentle Laurelin was, and he guessed living in the same house as her would be easy enough. She was nothing like Dis – stubborn, strong-willed Dis who always wanted to be the one in charge. Laurelin was discreet and eager to please, and whe would definitely not be intruding.

He sighed, and tried to find a comfortable position in his bed.

He spent the rest of the night torturing himself with an endless flow of questions and interrogations, and when the sun rose in the morning he had taken his decision. He had never been so determined in his life as he was at this precise moment.

* * *

><p>It was a beautiful day, with bright sun and blue sky, but the air was pleasantly fresh after last night's thundestorm. He was working on a longsword when Laurelin entered, carrying a flask of cold water. He saw her smile at him, and couldn't help but smile back. She handed him the flask, and he thanked her politely, then the maid asked several questions about the sword he was forging Thorin knew it was not just politeness, but genuine interest in his work, so he answered her questions as thoroughly as possible. He even went as far as describing her the distinction between a longsword – like the one he was working on – and a broadsword, then he took a deep breath and decided to take the bull by the horns, once and for good.<p>

**« Laurelin, I am very impressed by everything you have learned so fast. »** he started in a very formal voice, to hide his own nervousness. **« You are a great help for me already, and you are on the way of becoming truly essential to the smooth running of this forge. »**

**« Thank you. »** she said with a soft smile, but it was obvious she felt proud of herself as she heard her king's praising words. **« It is an honor to work with you, my King. »**

Thorin smiled at her.

**« This is why I want to make you an offer... »** he continued. **« You will be free to refuse, of course. »**

Puzzled, she froze and lifted an eyebrow, curious to hear more.

**« An offer, my King ? »**

**« Since I will have more work soon, I will have more and more need of your presence here. Sometimes we will have to work late, or to start very early in the morning. The most reasonable solution would be for you to come and live here, in the forge. There are many empty rooms upstairs. I am sure one of them would suit you, if you decided to accept my proposition. »**

Laurelin was so surprised that, for a long moment, she didn't know what to answer. She stammered a few awkward words, then she paused to regain some composure.

**« I would be glad to help you in every possible way. »** she said at last, her heart beating fast in her chest.

**« Of course, like I said before, you are free to refuse. »** Thorin insisted. He didn't want her to feel pressured in saying yes**. « Helping me with the forge means additional work, and coming to live here is an important decision too, something you cannot take lightly. There's no obligation at all. If you are not interested, just say no and I will never bother you with this again. You will just keep doing all the things you did so far, and everything will be fine. »**

**« I am fully aware of the implications of such an offer, and I accept gladly. »** she said, feeling a bit flushed. **« It will be an honor to help you in your daily work at the forge, and I am very willing to learn even more about this trade. »**

Hearing Thorin tell her he was impressed by her knowledge made her feel wonderfully happy, and proud of herself. She had put many efforts into learning everything about weapons, and about how they were crafted. She had greatly enjoyed learning these new things, and she had also enjoyed watching Thorin as he worked in the forge, so engrossed in his work that he forgot about everything else around him_. _Although she had not learned everything in the sole purpose of pleasing him – she had done it out of genuine interest – it still felt good to know her efforts had paid off. It was the very proof that she could do more with her life than being just a mere serving girl.

**« Thank you, Laurelin. » **Thorin said with a warm smile. **« Really, I am grateful. I know I need to be seconded by someone, but if you had refused I really don't know whom I would have turned to. There's no one here I can trust as much as I can trust you. »**

Laurelin didn't know what to answer to this ; she was baffled by so many unexpected compliments and no words came to her mind, but her broad smile was enough to express all her happiness.

**« I won't have need of your services during a few hours, so maybe you should go back to your home and gather your things. » **he suggested. **« If everything goes well, you will be comfortably settled by the time the night falls. »**

She nodded and thanked him, then she walked out of the forge, still unable to believe what had just happened. She would come and live at the forge. Never again would she have to sleep in an empty, deserted house, with no more than the memory of her grand-mother to keep her company. She would live and sleep under the same roof as Thorin. His reassuring presence would stand tall and strong between her and the fears that somethimes gripped her heart in the middle of the night, when she was unable to sleep.

When she arrived at the small house where she had lived so far, she contemplated it for a while before entering.

_I won't miss it. _She realized. _Not at all__._

A few hours later, Laurelin was standing in her little house for the last time. She contemplated all her possessions, gathered around her she didn't own much, and what little she owned was old, used and cheap. Three threadbare dresses she wore for her daily work, two sets of underwear, several brown pairs of holey socks, as well a brush, a comb and a tiny cracked mirror. Her family's necklace she already wore around her neck, and the herbs she used for cooking as well as for healing minor diseases or small injuries were stacked in a small chest of dark cherry-wood. Her kitchenware was gathered in another chest, a bigger one, made of polished walnut wood, as well as a few blankets, an old wolf skin, and her grand-mother's belongings. It would all fit into one bedroom, so she wouldn't take up much space in Thorin's house. Her kind neighbour helped her to drag the heavy chest out of the house, and to lift it onto the back of Thorin's pony the small but strong beast didn't complain about the heavy weight, and just waited patiently till Laurelin gave him the order to walk. She politely thanked her old neighbor for his kindness, then she softly stroked the pony's forehead ; she took the reins and led him gently through the streets of the village.

When she reached the forge, Thorin welcomed her with a warm and pleasant smile. It was pretty obvious he rejoiced in seeing her move in. He stepped forward to get the chest off the pony, then he carried it upstairs Laurelin thanked him – she had no idea how she would have carried it herself, if he hadn't volunteered to do it in her place – and followed him upstairs. She looked at everything as if it were the first time she entered the house, because everything was different now it would not just be Thorin's house anymore, but also _her_ house. _Her_ home.

**« There are half a dozen bedrooms on each side of the corridor. » **Thorin informed her. **« On the left side, though, the roof was in a bad state before I repaired it, so everything is quite damaged. I'd rather chose one of the bedrooms on the right side, if I were you. »**

Laurelin nodded. She opened several doors – except the door to Thorin's bedroom, of course – and in the end she set her heart on the room right next to Thorin's. When she told him which one she had selected, he smiled and nodded approvingly. It was in good condition, more or less Laurelin spotted a few cracks in the wall, and in one corner, water had leaked into the house from the damaged roof. But everything else still looked good enough.

**« What will you do with all the other rooms ? »** Laurelin asked, as she stood in the corridor with Thorin.

**« To be honest, Laurelin, I have no idea so far. »** he admitted. **« It's too much space for just two people, but well, I don't know yet... Your suggestions will be welcome, if you have some. » **Then he announced her he had to go back to work – he wanted to finish the sword before nightfall – so he left Laurelin alone after carrying her chest into her chamber.

Once he was gone, Laurelin started turning the empty room into a home. Her first task was to clean it, of course since there had been more important work to do downstairs, she hadn't bothered cleaning the empty rooms so far. Everything was still dirty and dusty, with spier webs in every corner. She even found bat droppings under one of the beams from the celing, but all the bats were gone now. She swepts and mopped the floor, then she dusted every inch of the bedroom, before airing the old blankets at the window. The bed itself was covered with tiny holes left by the woodborers, but it looked strong enough and it didn't breeak down when Laurelin sat on it. She pulled her pillow out of the chest, then her own blankets, then she hung her dresses into the small wardrobe.

When she was done, she sighed in relief. She was filthy and covered in sweat, but happy to be done with the unpleasant work. She quickly washed her face and her hands, then she braided her hair again and slipped into a clean dress. In spite of her low birth and humble origins, she was very clean and did her best to look decent in every occasion, even when she didn't leave the house. Of course she didn't wear make up or powders on her face, and she wasn't vain at all, but it was important to her to be clean. She was a maid, not a sloven.

She spent the rest of the day as she always did, sharing her time between her chores at Thorin's house, and her daily walk through the meadows to pick up flowers for her grand-mother's tomb. She also took the time to feed Thorin's pony, and to clean his stall ; she was growing more and more fond of the brave little beast, and she always loved to spend a bit of time with him. Late in the afternoon, Thorin even sent her to jeweler's shop, to see if he had a beautiful stone or two that she could buy for Thorin, to set into the hilt of the sword he was about to finish. Laurelin felt honored to chose the stones herself, yet at the same time she was afraid her choice would disappoint him she hesitated between a big blue topaze, and a set of smaller lemon-colored stones. Her eye was also attracted to a shining blood-red ruby, but this one was far too expensive for Thorin's yet half-empty purse. So in the end she chose the tiny yellow stones, and when she was back at the forge Thorin rewarded her with a pleased smile. She watched him as he meticulously set them into the sword's rounded pommel, fascinated by the nimbleness of Thorin's big fingers.

Then evening came, and Laurelin returned into the house to prepare dinner. Night had fallen by the time everything was ready, and a beaming Thorin announced her that the sword was ready to be sold. time everything was ready, and a beaming Thorin announced her that the sword was ready to be sold. He was very proud of his work, and in a very good mood ; he was sure he would get a good price for it, and he complimented Laurelin once more for her wise choice regarding the ornamental stones.

Once Thorin was done eating, he returned to the forge to put away his tools, while Laurelin tidied the kitchen. Then, instead of putting on her shoes and walking home, she just sat in front of the fire with a pile of clothes to mend ; summer was slowly turning to autumn, and some of the nights were starting to be quite fresh, actually. Thorin soon joined her, and they talked animatedly for a while. Laurelin had rarely seen his so enthusiastic and optimistic. Later, when Dwalin and Balin knocked on the door to talk to Thorin, Laurelin quietly gathered her things and climbed the stairs, to retreat in her bedroom. She made herself as discreet as possible. She was, after all, just his maid. She didn't want to intrude on his private life.

Downstairs, as Thorin watched her climb the stairs, he wondered why she suddenly felt the need to run away like that ; Dwalin and Balin had just come to exchange a few words of no importance with Thorin, and the young maid could have stayed where she was, warming her feet in front of the fire. _Maybe she's afraid that I would be ashamed of her in front of my friends ? _He felt angry with himself for letting her feel such a thing, even unintentionally. In truth, he would have loved for Laurelin to stay, so she could have been at his side when he showed his friends the finished sword – she had, after all, played a part in its making, even if it was just a small part. He would have to make more effots, in the future, to make her feel at ease when he had guests. He didn't want her to flee and hide and feel awkward every time he had visitors.

Once Balin and Dwalin had left, he climbed the stairs at last. Before going to bed, he decided to check on Laurelin one last time. Everything was new for her, after all. He knocked softly at the door, so as not to wake her is she was asleep, but she immediately answered and told him to enter. When he saw her sitting on the bed in her nightclothes, with her hair unbound, he felt a bit embarrassed as he realized she probably wanted nothing but to be alone and quiet, so late at night. He cursed himself for intruding like that into her private life.

**« I'm sorry to bother you.****»** he said apologetically. **« I just wanted to make sure you don't need anything. »**

Laurelin welcomed him warmly, with a pleasant smile, though. All the awkwardness he had felt moments before disappeared at once. She got up from her bed, and Thorin realized – once more – how pretty she was. She was slender for a Dwarf-woman, with a round face and white skin, and long hair that hung to her hips.

**«****I am perfectly fine, thank you. » **she replied, and she truly meant it. **« But I think I need some sleep, now. » **

**«****We all need to rest. »** Thorin agreed.

**« Good-night, my King. » **she said fondly.

**«****Good night, Laurelin. »**

They exchanged one last look, then Thorin left her bedroom to let her sleep.

Laurelin blew her candle, and found a comfortable position under her blankets. She closed her eyes. The place still smelled of dust and mildew, yet Laurelin didn't care, because the bed was comfortable and she already felt at home, here. It was a place to call her own. A place where she could drop her walls and stop being on her guard all the time... A place where she could just let go of her fears and abandon herself to sleep... She sighed, and opened her eyes one last time to stare at the wall separating her room from Thorin's. He was right there, like a protector. Knowing he was sleeping on the other side of the wall made her feel safe, truly safe.

She closed her eyes again and sank into a quiet, dreamless sleep.

What Laurelin didn't know was that on the other side of the wall, Thorin was feeling just as glad as she was here, so close to him. For the first time in years – decades, even – he wasn't alone anymore. He had somebody at his side he could rely on, somebody who truly cared about him. It was a pleasant feeling. There had been nights, during the last weeks, when he had wondered if working as an armorer was truly worth the effort – would it not be better to choose an easier but less satisfactory trade ? But now Laurelin was here, and she made him want to surpass himself. The fact that she counted on him to survive in this world was the best of all the motivations. He would persevere, day after day, to offer her the life she deserved.

_I will make it. _He promised silently, not only to himself – but also to Laurelin.

_One day, we will have a beautiful life, and then this difficult start will be no more than a bad memory, for both of us._


	9. COHABITATION

Laurelin thought living together would be awkward, at first, yet to her great surprise it immediately felt comfortable. Soon, her bedroom smelled of wild flowers and fresh air, and Thorin repaired the cracks in the wall. It didn't take him much time – no more than one hour – but he liked what he saw ; Laurelin had turned this dreary old bedroom in a small but comfortable chamber. The deep blue velvety curtains she had hung at the window gave it a cozy atmosphere, and the candles on her bedside table gave off a subtle smell of herbs and bee wax. On the floor, right next to the bed, there was Laurelin's old wolf skin. Everything was very clean and well-ordered, and Thorin was glad to see she had appropriated herself the place so quickly. The idea that she felt comfortable under his roof made him smile.

When Thorin sold his beautiful sword to a rich human merchant, a few days after Laurelin had moved in : He came back with a nice purse filled with gold coins ; for the first time since he had hired Laurelin, so long ago, he was able to pay her as she deserved it. And he immediately started working on a chain-mail somebody in the valley had ordered from him. Laurelin watched him for a while as he crafted tiny copper ring after tiny copper ring, and listened to him as he explained how a mail made of small rings was offering a better protection than a mail crafted with bigger rings. She listened raptly to each and every one of his words. Then, she left to wash an armful of clothes at the river ; she chatted with several other women, then she went back home and hung the laundry on the lines, to let them dry in the sun.

Later that day, when Thorin came out of the forge, Laurelin saw him blush as he spotted her underwear drying in the sun. It's only then, as Laurelin saw his cheeks turn a deep red over his beard, that she truly realized he had never been close to a woman before. She frowned, and tried to recall everything that had happened during the thirty years she had been in his service... Had she ever seen him with a woman ? _No._ She reflected. No woman ; apart from Dis of course, but she was his sister so she didn't really count. Laurelin had never seen Thorin show any interest in women, or spend time with any of them... Not once, in more than thrity years... She couldn't quite grasp why ; he was young and healthy and handsome, he was a king with noble blood in his veins, and he was charming enough. There was nothing wrong with him, yet he was still alone. Yet on the other side, it made him look even more endearing, to Laurelin's eyes ; some men would have taken advantage of their high status to seduce woman after woman, yet Thorin wasn't like that. His behavior was always perfectly honorable.

* * *

><p>Several days later, Laurelin went to bed early, quite proud of herself ; Thorin had showed her how to assemble the copper rings for the chain mail – easy but tedious work – and then she had spent the rest of the afternoon helping him, and when night had fallen she had been pleased to see they had almost finished one half of the left sleeve together. Knowing that she was actually able to do something that was both so strong and so beautiful was a very satisfying feeling. Yet she was tired nonetheless, and her fingers were sore, so she went to bed right after cleaning the kitchen. She sighed deeply as she slipped between the newly acquired linen blankets, and fell asleep almost immediately, with a faint smile on her lips.<p>

What she hadn't expected was to be woken up when her door was violently banged open, a few hours later, in the middle of the night. Laurelin was so startled that she let out a small cry, before she recognized young Fili ; he was wearing his nightclothes, and he was obviously completely over-excited. He babbled something about Kili being sick, and then Thorin came running into Laurelin's dark bedroom, looking utterly worried.

**«****Are you all right ?** **» **he asked, looking at the young woman. **«****I heard you scream... »**

**«****I'm fine. »** she answered, her heart still beating very fast after such a fright. **«****It's just... Fili entered while I ****was sleeping, and he startled me. That's all. »**

He sighed in relief as he saw she was unhurt. Then Thorin's frowned sternly at the boy, who lowered his gaze.

**« Fili, how many times did I tell you that you can't intrude into Laurelin's chamber like that ? »** he lectured the boy. He didn't like being so stern with the child, but he also needed to make some things clear to the boy. **« She lives here, but that doesn't mean you can just come and bother her whenever it pleases you. This room here is her personal space. You need to learn to respect that, Fili. It's called privacy. »**

**«****Sorry. »** he said.

Thorin nodded briefly, then he turned to Laurelin.

**«****My sister's youngest son is very sick, so she took him to the healer. She asked if I could keep an eye on Fili for a few hours, that's why he's here now. I told him to stay downstairs, but when I went outside to fetch firewood in the shed he obviously decided it was a good moment to disobey my orders. »**

**«****Sorry. »** the boy repeated meekly, his eyes on his feet.

**«****We'll talk about this downstairs. »** Thorin said gravely, pointing at the stairs with his finger.

Fili shuffled out of Laurelin's bedroom.

The maid felt her heart melt as she saw the little boy so stricken and sad. She jumped out of her bed, and caught up with him and Thorin in the corridor. Very tenderly, she put her right hand on Fili's shoulder, but her eyes were on Thorin.

**«****It's nothing. »** she insisted, in a respectful but determined tone. **«****I was just a bit startled, that's all. I am fine, my King. Truly. It was just a silly incident. There's no reason to scold you nephew for such a trifle. »**

**«****He knows you are living here now, and I told him several times to stay downstairs to let you sleep in peace. You've done good work today, and you deserve to rest without being disturbed by this little wildling here. »** His voice had softened up as he had spoken, and Laurelin detected a clear note of tenderness in the man's last words. She couldn't help but smile. Thorin my be rough and stubborn, sometimes – and very proud – but his heart was a gentle one.

**«****I'm sorry. »** Fili repeated for the third time, and by his voice Laurelin realized he was crying. She felt a surge of compassion for him. She knelt at his side and stroked his cheek, very gently.

**«****It's nothing. »** she told him reassuringly, and was pleased to see a small smile on his lips. **«****I know you didn't frighten me intentionally. »** She smiled at him, then she looked up at Thorin. **«****But tell me, young Master Fili... : Why did you come to me ? What did you want from me ? »**

Fili shuffled nervously, and bit his lips.

**« You're always nice with me, »** he admitted finally. **« Every time when Mother and me and Kili we come here, or when we meet you in the village, you're always smiling at me and Kili. Mother didn't smile at me today, because she was sad for Kili... » **He looked at Laurelin, his blue eyes glistening with tears.** « I just wanted to be with somebody who smiles at me... and... a few days ago, on the market, you told Mother that you know a lot of stories that ****_your_**** mother told you when you were a little girl... »**

Laurelin couldn't help but smile tenderly at him, moved by his words. She gave him a cuddle, more than willing to offer him the warmth and comfort he so desperately needed right now. A few minutes later, she got up again and looked at Thorin.

**«****So... he will be here for a few hours ? »** she asked.

**«****I don't know** **exactly, but I guess he'll be here for a good part of the night at least, if not the whole night. But don't worry, Laurelin. I will take him downstairs with me, and he won't bother you again. »**

**«****Oh no, I didn't mean it like that ! »** she exclaimed. **«****He doesn't bother me at all ! I was merely wondering whether he will sleep here or not. »**

**«****Do you think Kili will be all right ? »** Fili asked unexpectedly, but neither Thorin nor Laurelin had the answer to this question. They could do no more than hope and pray with all their hearts that the youngest boy would heal quickly.

**«****He's in the hands of the healer, now. »** Thorin said gently. **«****Oïn will do everything in his power to make your little brother feel better again. »**

Laurelin hoped he was right. She had not seen Kili, but if Dis was worried enough to run to the healer's home in the middle of the night, leaving her eldest son behind, it probably meant it was serious.

**«****I don't like it when Kili's sick. »** Fili said dejectedly, looking first at his uncle, then at Laurelin. **«****He cries all the day, and he doesn't laugh like he always does, and we can't even play with me. I really want him to heal. »** It's obvious he's very worried.

**«****Of course you want him to heal. »** Laurelin told him very softly. She would have loved to tell him the stories he wanted to hear, but she was not sure whether she was allowed to take such a liberty or not. She hesitated. Thorin encouraged her with an approving nod. **«****When... When I was young and I was sad about something, one of my parents used to take me on their knees to tell me stories, and it helped me feel better. »** she said, her smile broadening as she watched the young boy. As soon as he understood Laurelin acutally agreed to tell him the stories he longed for, his cute little face light up with hope and enthusiasm. **«****Maybe... if you don't mind, my King... I would really enjoying telling him a few stories, to take his mind off Kili... »**

Thorin looked surprised, but Fili started jumping excitedly.

**«****I love stories ! »** he yelled, and cast his uncle a pleading look. **«****You say yes, Uncle ? Please ! I want to listen to Laurelin's stories ! »**

The little boy screamed in joy when Thorin nodded, and hugged his uncle wth both arms.

**«****Thank you, Uncle Thorin ! »**

The king of the Dwarves gently tousled his nephews's blond hair, with an affectionate smile on his proud face.

**«****Are you sure you don't mind ? »** Thorin asked Laurelin.

**«****Not at all. »** she said, smiling widely and tenderly at the child who was still clinging to his uncle. She was obviously very happy to take Thorin's nephew under her wing for a few moments.

Fili let go of his uncle, and grabbed Laurelin's hand instead with juvenile exuberance. He led her into her bedroom.

**«****Mother is always sitting on the bed when she's telling stories. »** he said, and a moment later he had climbed on Laurelin's bed. As soon as she joined him, the boy crawled onto her lap, and cuddled comfortably against her. Laurelin smiled fondly as she saw him like that, so small and so sweet against her. Instinctively, she wanted to kiss him on the top of the head, but she didn't think this would be appropriate, coming for somebody of her rank ; Fili was of royal blood, after all, and will probably become a king, one day. Instead, she just put an arm around him and pulled him a bit closer to her, to keep him warm as well as to comfort him.

Thorin, who was standing in the frame of the open door, watched them silently for a while, feeling both amused and pleased by what he was seeing. Fili's acted is if Laurelin was some sort of older sister, or maybe a loving aunt, but in truth the boy's familiarity didn't really surprise Thorin. Fili was a gentle, trusting little boy ; sometimes it was worrying, because he was talking to everybody in the streets, and he always followed people he barely knew – if he knew them at all. He was never wary of anybody. Dis had complained several times about this, but tonight Thorin knew he wouldn't have to worry for the lad. He was in safe hands, with Laurelin.

He nodded briefly at her, then he left them alone. He was still smiling when he went down the stairs.

**«****What story will you tell me ? »** Fili asked eagerly.

**«****Do you know the story of the Frog Pincess and the Troll ? »** she asked. The boy frowned, then he shook his head, making his hair and his tiny braids fly.

**«****Tell me, please ! »** he said excitedly.

She helped him settle more comfortably on her legs, her arm still around him, and started telling her story in a soft, gentle voice.

From downstairs, he could hear Laurelin soft, chanting voice as she told her story, but he couldn't understand the words. From time to time, there was an excited word from Fili, too. They seemed to get along fine. He hadn't expected her to take care of the little boy like that – he was no family of hers, after all – and looking after him in the middle of the night was not part of Laurelin's duties, but she seemed to enjoy the boy's presence. Thorin had noticed the fondness in her eyes as the boy had cuddled against her, and he wondered if she longed to have children of her own. She probably did. This idea made him feel uneasy, so he just tried to concentrate on something else. He went into the forge to make a few more rings for the chain mail. He trusted Laurelin enough to leave her alone with Fili, but he also promised himself he would not let the boy in her hands too long. She needed rest.

When Dis came back, late at night, Thorin had fallen asleep in his old moth-eaten armchair, in front of the fire. He woke with a start when she knocked on the door. Thorin hurried to open the door, and frowned when she saw her standing outside alone – without Kili.

**«****Kili is fine. »** she chuckled, when she saw the worried look on her brother's face. **«****He's asleep at home, in his bed. At last. »** Thorin noticed how tired she looked. **«****And where's my eldest ? Since he didn't run into my arms, I suppose he's asleep as well...? »**

Thorin felt a pang of guilt and embarrassment as he realized he had left the boy in Laurelin's hands for Mahal knows how many hours, while he had been sleeping. She needed to rest, as well, but instead of letting her sleep he had just left her alone to deal with Fili. How selfish of him. What would she think of him, now ?

**«****He was with Laurelin when... when I fell asleep. »** he admitted sheepishly.

**« Oh, really ? »** she joked. **«****Laurelin ? I ask you to watch over Fili for one night, and you shove him into the hands of your maid as soon as I have my back turned ? Were you really so eager to be rid of him? Big, strong Thorin defeated by a little boy ? »**

She chuckled softly.

**« Your little boy would be able to defeat a whole army of Orcs, with his boundless energy. »** Thorin grumbled, but then a smile suddenly stretched his lips. When they were younger, in Erebor – when times were happier and easier – Dis and Thorin used to bicker and tease each other a lot. His sister's jest had brought back those memories of old.

**« Well, now at least, I know which one of you both is truly brave. » **Dis said with an impish glint in her dark eyes.

**« You're a nuisance, little sister. »** Thorin joked amiably.

**« Of course. » **she retorted with an impish smile. **« That's why you love me so much, dear brother. » **She laughed again, and part of the tension she had been feeling all day just vanished from her tired features. Then she was serious again. **« Come on, now, let's relieve poor Laurelin. Dawn will soon be here, but maybe she will be able to get a few hours of sleep before the sun wakes her up. »**

They climbed the creaking stairs. No sound came from the first floor, and no one answered when Thorin knocked on Laurelin's door. He opened it slowly. Everything was dark, inside. All the candles had gone out.

Dis entered after him, and in the light of her oil lamp they could see Laurelin and Fili asleep on the bed the little boy was lying between Laurelin and the wall, to make sure he wouldn't fall if he stirred in his sleep. He was turning his back on the young woman, and she had put a protective arm around him. She had covered him with her blankets to keep the chill of the night away from him, keeping only one linen for herself. Since she had also given her pillow to the young boy, she was sleeping with her head resting on her free arm.

Dis smiled adoringly when she saw her son fast asleep, then she looked at her brother.

**« He looks comfortable enough. » **she said hesitantly. **« It would be a shame to wake him up now, but... well, do you think I can leave him here, with Laurelin ? Don't you think he will bother her ? »**

Thorin hesitated, too. He didn't like to speak on behalf of Laurelin, without asking for her opinion first.

**« I... I don't think she would mind. » **he said at last, hoping he was right.

**« I'll be back tomorrow, in the morning, then. »** Dis whispered softly. **« By Mahal, I never though he would be able to fall asleeep tonight. He was so worried for Kili. I thought he would be up and about all night, but obviously your Laurelin has done miracles with him. »**

Thorin closed the door again, then he continued.

**« She's not my Laurelin. » **he said, a bit confused. **« She belongs to no one but herself, and... »**

**« She works for you, doesn't she ? » **Dis interrupted him. **« And she lives with you, too. »**

**« She lives in my house, Dis. Not ****_with_**** me. »**

The woman shrugged, as if this detail made no difference.

**« I need some sleep, too. I'll come to get Fili back in the morning. »** The descended the stairs together, trying to be as silent as possible. She reached the front door, and was already half outside when suddenly she turned around, looking at Thorin. **« It was a good idea to let her come and live with you here. » **she said.

**« She's doing good work in the house, and she also helps me a bit with my work in the forge, when she has time. »**

**« I wasn't talking about that. »** Dis retorted, amused by how slow Thorin was to understand some things, sometimes. **« I was talking about two lonely people deciding to live under the same roof to be a bit less lonely. It will be good for both of you. »**

She gave him one last smile, then she walked out.

Thorin drank one last cup of hot tea – Laurelin had left the kettle on the kitchen fire – then he decided it was high time for him to go to bed, too. He undressed, and slipped between his fresh blankets. The last thing on his mind, before he drifted into sleep, was Laurelin with little Fili cuddled against her. It made him smiled, first, and then frown it was obvious she loved children, and her desire to have a family of her own was probably growing with every day.

What will happen when she finds herself a husband ?

He didn't want to think about the answer to this question.

* * *

><p>When Laurelin felt Fili moving in the bed next to her, she understood the little boy would wake up soon. She opened her eyes, and saw the sun was up already. She climbed out of the bed, very slowly, very carefully, then she stretched. Fili opened his eyes when the maid slipped her feet into her soft leather shoes for a moment, he stared at the room around him, looking utterly confused, then he recognized Laurelin and smiled weakly.<p>

**« Where's Mother ? » **he asked shyly.

**« You will see her very soon. » **Laurelin promised him, kneeling to be on eye level with him.

**« Kili ? »** the child asked.

**« He must be with your mother, young Master Fili. »** she said reassuringly.** « I suppose your uncle will bring you back to her soon, but first you need to eat something. Come, Fili... Let's have some breakfast in the kitchen. »**

The boy hesitated for a moment, then his smile broadened.

When Thorin woke up, he heard Fili's shrill voice at once. He was in the kitchen with Laurelin. He yawned, he stretched, then he decided to join them at last when he saw the remnants of food on the table, he understood the boy was finished eating already. Laurelin had combed and braided his hair, and she was now washing his sticky hands in a basin of warm water.

**« Good morning, my King. » **

Laurelin had greeted him with a friendly smile, as usual, but inwardly she was worried the fact that Dis didn't come to get her son back was quite alarming, in truth. How ill could the little one be, to keep his mother away from her firstborn ? Yet she didn't want to speak with Thorin about such disturbing things in front of Fili, so she just kept silent and did her best to cheer up Fili.

**« Good morning. » **Thorin replied, still looking a bit sleepy.

Even though he looked tired, Laurelin was pleased to see that he was also very relaxed, and Laurelin felt slightly less anxious he had probably heard some good news about Kili, during the night, or else he wouldn't look se serene.

**« Your breakfast is ready, if you are hungry. »** she announced amiably while she dried Fili's hands with a towel.

**« I don't have time to eat. »** he said. **« I have to bring this little scoundrel to his mother. She came by during the night, but then we found you both asleep, and looking so peaceful, and we didn't have the heart to wake you up. »** he explained, a bit hesitantly. **« Dis said she would come to fetch him, but I don't like the idea of her leaving little Kili alone in his bed. I'm going to bring Fili home. »**

**« I'm glad you didn't wake him up. » **Laurelin said, still smiling. **« It took him such a long while to fall asleep. »**

Laurelin didn't say it aloud, yet Thorin guessed that the young boy had been very worried  
>last night.<p>

**« Your little brother is feeling better. » **he said to Fili, with a beaming smile. Laurelin was amused – and a bit touched – to see the King talk so gently, so softly to the child, in spite of his big booming voice. **« Kili's probably asleep in his bed, right now, and as soon as Laurelin will be finished with you, I will walk home with you. I'm sure your mother missed you, this morning. »**

Fili's face lit up at once.

**« Kili ! » **he bellowed in his childish voice. **« I want to see Kili ! »**

Laurelin laughed at his exuberance, and smiled tenderly as the boy ran towards his uncle to grab his big hand. They had almost reached the door, when suddenly he turned around and ran back to Laurelin he gave her a wet kiss on the cheek. The maid was so surprised by this unexpected gesture of affection that she didn't know how to react, and then she startled when she heard Thorin chuckle softly at this outburst of childish love.

**« I love your stories. » **Fili said with a smile. **« Can you tell me more stories, the next time I come to sleep here ? »**

**« Of course. » **she answered, her throat tight with emotion. She stroked the boy's blond hair one last time.

**« And Kili will come as well ! He loves to hear stories, too ! » **

**« Whatever you want, young Master Fili. »** she answered, feeling a surge of affection for this gentle, sweet child.

He shrieked in delight, then he grabbed his uncle's hand once more. Laurelin watched them together – Thorin so big and strong and imposing, and Fili looking so small at his side. She couldn't help but smile again.

Yet Laurelin was also worried for Thorin. He looked so tired, as if he hadn't slept at all and he would probably be spending the rest of the day laboring in the forge, which was hard and physically exhausting work. He couldn't neglect himself like that. For a few moments she hesitated – maybe he wanted to talk with his sister, or to get news from his youngest nephew – but in the end she took the liberty to call him back before the reached the road.

**« With all due respect, my King. »** she told him in a firm, but humble and soft voice. « **If you don't take the time to eat, you won't have enough strengths to work all day. You need to eat, and to take care of yourself. »**

**« I thank you for your concern, Laurelin, but I assure you I will not die of hunger just because I have missed one meal. »** he said in a reassuring voice.** « I want Fili to be home before my sister leaves Kili alone, and then I will have to keep working on that chain mail. You know how long we've worked on it yesterday, and how little we did. We didn't even finish one sleeve. I'll have to speed up if I want to deliver it in the time limit. »**

Laurelin shrugged.

**« Maybe I could walk Fili home, and so you will have time to eat your breakfast. »** she suggested, as she walked towards them. **« I need to leave the house anyways, to go on the market. We don't have any flour left. »**

Thorin seemed to think about it for a while, then he nodded.

**« All right. I will be glad to accept your kind offer. »** he said with a smile. « **But keep a close eye on Fili. He tends to run off at first chance, and to get himself into trouble. »**

**« Don't worry, my King. » **she reassured him. « **He will reach his mother's home safe and sound. »** Inwardly, she was very pleased that the king himself trusted her enough to entrust her his heir. It was a true honor, for somebody as lowborn as she was.

Fili bounced happily around Laurelin, then he took her hand eagerly.

**« I want to see Kili ! »** he urged her.

**« All right, we're leaving. » **she said, smiling at his eagerness. Then she gave Thorin a confident look. He nodded briefly in response.

Laurelin made sure Fili's hand remained in hers all the time while they walked in the narrow, still neglected streets of the town. Dis' home wasn't far away from the forge, barely a few streets away, so it didn't take them long to reach her house. Laurelin knocked softly, and was welcomed by a tired but smiling Dis.

**« Mother ! »** Fili screamed, running into her open arms.

She hugged him for a long time, and when she let him go she looked at Laurelin.

**« Thank you. » **she said. « **Thorin told me what you did for Fili yesterday, and I saw him asleep with you, and... well, he looked so peaceful and quiet that I didn't want to wake him up. I hope he didn't bother you too much. »**

**« He didn't bother me at all. »** she assured the Lady Dis. « **May I ask you how your little Kili is feeling this morning ? »**

**« Oh, he is absolutely fine, now. » **Dis answered. « **Oin's medicine seems to be rather efficient. He woke up this morning hungry like a wolf, and after eating he fell asleep again. Yesterday he was coughing so badly I feared for his life, but now he's almost completely recovered already. Children are amazing little creatures, sometimes. »**

She smiled fondly, and mussed Fili's hair.

**« Fili was very worried for his little brother. »** Laurelin told him.

**« They are very close, and it's no wonder since there are no other children of their age around here. They only have each other to play with. Whenever one of them is sick, or hurt, or distressed, it is always very difficult for the other one. That's why I was so surprised to see Fili asleep, this night. »**

**« I really enjoyed spending a few hours in his company. » **she said with genuine sincerity.

Then they all heard a whimper coming from inside the house.

**« Kili ! »** the eldest boy screamed. He hugged Laurelin around the waist, yelled a hasty good-bye, then he dashed into the house to join his little brother. A moment later, Laurelin hear Kili's cheerful giggles coming from inside the house. She bowed to Dis, smiling, then she left her house to go to the market.

* * *

><p>After the night with Fili, several days went by without anything noticeable happening. Slowly, Thorin and Laurelin settled into a comfortable routine, and got used to living under the same roof. For Laurelin, it was reassuring to know Thorin was close, and for Thorin the maid's constant presence in the house was like a ray of sunshine. Her laughter, as she had been with Fili, still rang in his ears like a cheerful melody. Of course, there had been a few awkward moments he still remembered how shocked he had been when he had suddenly seen Laurelin's underwear hanging in the sun, right under his nose, at the most unexpected moment – but he had already gotten used to such things. All in all, he was more than glad she was here, with him. Laurelin was a cheerful, warm and soothing presence in the house. And she was always so helpful, so willing to please or to learn new things. She offered him something he had never known before : a touch of womanly softness in his life.<p>

But in truth, what he liked most about Laurelin was the fact that she truly cared for him. She only thought about his well-being, and she had nothing to do with those other ladies who only pretended to care for him in the hope to catch his interest. Laurelin never asked anything back for her services. There was no pretense, no falsehood. She was truly kind and caring, and it was a quality that made her very endearing in Thorin's eyes.

He lifted his tiny hammer, then he hit the small copper ring, sealing it around two other rings. There was still a lot of work to dfo before it would be finished, but hopfully Laurelin would find a bit of time to help him again, as she had already done several times. Everything always seemed so much easier, so much more pleasant when she was around.

He grinned as he grabbed the next ring.

He had never felt so confident and optimistic before.


	10. FEELINGS

Nothing truly extraordinary happened during the years that followed the settlement of the Dwarves in the Blue Mountains ; slowly and quietly, the months went by, then the years. A warm and sunny autumn was followed by a very harsh winter, then an early spring that brought life back into the mountains. The community prospered thanks to the mines, that were the heart of their civilization. Money started flowing again, and the pitiful hovels they had found when they had arrived were soon replaced by more majestic homes, built by strong dwarven hands. It was still far from the glory of Erebor, but it was better than anything they had known during their years of wandering ; it was a home, a true home, a place that belonged to no one but themselves.

A year or so after their arrival, Thorin went to sit next to Laurelin, one evening. It was high summer again, and even if night had fallen the air was still hot and stifling ; the young woman had bound her hair in a bun to keep it from falling down her sticky back, and she had rolled up her sleeves. She smiled at Thorin when he sat down on the sheepskin next to her. He was all sweaty, too. His long black hair was hanging in limp strands around his face.

He sighed, then he asked her if she wanted to visit the mines with him, the next morning.

**« Most of the steel I am working with in the forge is made of iron from these mines. »** he told her. **« We don't need to buy our raw material from the humans anymore, now, as we did before we reached these mountains. And I'd like you to come with me, tomorrow. I'd like you to listen while I talk to the foreman. He's a greedy man, and he'll try to wring as much gold out of us as possible, but we still need what he has to offer – so have to negotiate. So far I've been doing it myself, but maybe one day you'll be able to do this for me, giving me more time for actual work in the forge. »**

Laurelin was quite startled – Thorin visited the mines regularly, but never before had he asked her to come with him. She felt a shiver of excitement run down her back. No one was allowed into the mines, except the people who worked there it was a rule made to prevent the accidents that were bound to happen when unwelcome people with no experience of underground work intruded into the mines. Neither Laurelin nor any of the Dwarves living in the village had ever seen them with their own eyes, even if they had heard rumors about their grandeur. Being allowed to go in there would be a real privilege.

She didn't sleep well that nigh, her impatience growing with every hour. When morning came at last, she jumped out of her bed and dressed quicker than ever before.

Yet when they reached the mines, after a short walk through the village, one of the miners – a gruff Dwarf with a grizzled beard and bushy eyebrows – told them that the foreman was currently unavailable. They would have to wait, maybe for several hours. Laurelin expected a dready wait in some dark hall, or maybe they would go home and come back later, but Thorin surprised her when he offered her a beaming smile. She wondered what he was thinking.

**« I'm actually glad we have some time. »** he said. **« There's something I want to show you. It's a very special place, that not many people have seen. I'm sure you will like it. »**

Laurelin was even more startled, now. She followed him without a word. At some point, they walked past a sign saying _No trespassing._

Laurelin hesitated.

**« Can we truly go there ? » **she asked worriedly.

**« Why not ? » **Thorin replied. He seemed to be in a cheerful mood.** « I am the King, am I not ? I can go wherever I want. It's not a piece of wood that will tell me what I can or can't do. » **Then he chuckled softly,

**« Of course. » **she whispered, feeling a bit dumb for asking such a stupid question.

A few more stpes, and the sign was behind them, out of sight. They reached the entrance of a cave : a very narrow tunnel plunged in complete darkness. Laurelin saw nothing at all. Thorin grabbed one of the torches hanging on a wall nearby the wavering flames made shadows and light dance on the man's proud face.

**« Close your eyes. »** he told her, and she obeyed. She was more and more puzzled by  
>his attitude.<p>

For a moment, Thorin wanted to take her hand, but then he realized it might not be appropriate to do so even if Thorin saw much more in her than just a maid, he was not sure whether the opposite was true as well. Maybe Laurelin saw no more in him than just a master. She might feel embarrassed by this contact, particularly if some miner happened to come by and see them holding hands. So he just grabbed her by the elbow, very softly, but firmly enough to reassure her. It felt strange – in a pleasant way – to see her so vulnerable in his hands. He felt flattered to see how much she trusted him. She didn't hesitate as he led her forwards, very slowly and carefully. Once or twice she stumbled upon the uneven ground, but Thorin's hand steadied her and kept her from falling.

Laurelin just followed him without a word. Even if she saw nothing, she was sure no harm would come her way as long as she was in Thorin's hands.

Soon, they reached their destination. Thorin made her stop, and the young woman could feel a cold draft of wind on her face.

**« Open your eyes, now. » **Thorin told her, and by his tone Laurelin guessed he was smiling.

In truth, Thorin had wanted to show her this place for a long time, but there had never been a true opportunity before. And now he was impatient to see how she would react when she would discover the marvels of this hidden cave.

Laurelin opened her eyes, very slowly, not knowing what to expect. Then she gaped at the beauty of the cave. She had always imagined underground caves to be damp, dark places full of threatening shadows, but what she was now contemplating was something completely different. She had never seen something like that before. It was a subterranean forest of glittering stalactites and stalagmites in every direction, as far as the eye could see, pink and orange pillars shaped by centuries of dripping water linked the ground to the ceiling. Some of them were soft and smooth, almost graceful, while others were crooked and rough and oddly shaped one of the stalagmites looked like an old man, with legs and arms and even a grumpy wrinkled face.

**« This is the most beautiful place I have ever seen. » **Laurelin said in a weak voice, her heart beating fast with emotion. **« It's like stepping into another world. » **She was staring wide-eyed  
>at the surreal landscape around her. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. <strong>« So much beauty hidden in the darkness... »<strong>

Her last words had been barely audible. She was far too awed to do more than whispering. She could feel how old everything was – it must have taken hundreds, if not thousands of years to grow stalactites like these. She felt small and humble, but she smiled as her fingers brushed a damp white stone shaped like a cauliflower.

**« And you've seen nothing yet. » **Thorin added, pleased to see that Laurelin was enjoying the visit. A broad smiled adorned her pretty face, and her eyes kept going from one rock formation to the next, as if she was trying to burn every little detail in her memory. Thorin led her along a narrow path, then over a small underground river, till they reached a second cave.

It was much smaller, but its beauty was just as breathtaking. A dozen of small rivulets joined her to form a lake its surface was smooth as a mirror, its water black and bottomless. Laurelin stepped closer, and watched her reflection on the calm water.

**« I've heard rumors about this place, when I visited the towns of men in the valley. » **Thorin explained, kneeling on the shore to touch the water with the tip of his fingers. **« The human miners that worked here long ago believed there was magic in this water. They say you have to throw a coin in the water, and then make a wish – and the spitrits of the water that dwell here will make it come true. » **He chuckled once more. **« Men are such superstitious poeple. » **he added, bet he still seized a tiny copper coin from his pocket and tossed it into the dark water.

Laurelin smiled as she watched him.

**« What did you wish for ? » **she asked softly.

Thorin shrugged, and his only answer was an enigmatic smile.

Laurelin knelt next to Thorin, in silence. She had a few worthless coppers in her pocket, too. She picked one, then she threw it into the water her eyes were fixed on the graceful ripples it created on the surface of the water. Then she looked at Thorin, with a soft smile on her face.

**« What did you wish for ? » **he asked, smiling as well. Even though he was truly curious about her wish, he had only asked this question to tease her, because she had asked the same earlier. He knew she would probably not answer such a personal question.

**« My mother always told me that if you speak a wish aloud, it can't come true. »** she said, wondering if the spirits of this lake would really grant her what she so desperately desired. She closed her eyes for a few moments, savoring the silence and the stillness of this world of stone.

A few moments later, they heard steps behind them, and soon the old foreman who was in charge of the mines joined them. He was short and sturdy, with streaks of white in his huge red beard. His head was almost bald, and his hands were twice as big as Laurelin's.

**« I have time for you, now. » **he said humbly to Thorin, bowing deeply.

They walked away from the cave – Laurelin shot one last glance at the lake, wondering whether she would ever see it again – then she followed both man in silence. They didn't take the same path they had taken to come here, but a small meandering road that led them to the habitable parts of the mines, where the miners lived when they were not at work. Living rooms and bedchambers and kitchens had been carved directly into the stone, and no light from the outside ever shone here. Laurelin knew that sometimes they could spend a fortnight – or even months – underground without coming out of the mountain, and she wondered how they survived without seeing the light of the sun for such a long period.

They reached the foreman's office, a small chamber with rough walls carved into the rocks, too. Maps and charts and rolled-up parchments were cluttering the heavy oaken desk, but the Dwarf just shoved everything aside, and invited Thorin and Laurelin to sit down. The chair was not particularly comfortable, but Laurelin didn't say a word.

Thorin and the old foreman talked about the cave-in that happened a few days ago, and about plans to dig new tunnels in the eastern section of the mines they talked about the purity of copper and iron ore, and about how thze safety of the workers could be improved by reinforcing some of the most dangerous tunnels with wooden pillars. The discussed the productivity of the mines, and the wealth it would bring them in the years to come. Laurelin listened to them with rapt attention, trying to remembere everything, for an hour or so. And then it came to negotiation. At first, the foreman asked for an exorbitant price, leaving Laurelin speechless – was Thorin not the King ? The one who had led them all here ? Did he not deserve to get some special treatment ? Was that Dwarf really so greedy ? But soon, she saw that Thorin was not ready to let himself be walked over by the other one. Laurelin admired him as he negotiated in a voice both firm and persuasive, till in the end he obtained what he wanted : a faire price for what he needed. Then they signed a contract in black ink, and shook hands.

**« I will see it delivered to your forge. »** the foreman said with a repsectful nod.

**« Thank you. »** Thorin replied.

Once everything was settled, Thorin took Laurelin with him to visit the mines. Soon, the young woman got lost in the contemplation of this underworld. Hundreds of tunnels opened in each wall – some of them lit with torches and full of miners at work, other pitch dark and silent as a tomb. Suspended bridges of rope and planks allowed the workers to go from one place to the other, and at some point the found a hole in the ground that looked like the mouth of some giant monster – dark and foreboding. Laurelin shivered, and hurried past the opening without looking at it.

Miners were bustling like ants all around them, looking small and unsignifiant compared to the vastness of this place.

**« Time to leave. »** Thorin decided, once they had done a quick tour of the upper levels. **« There's much more to see, but I have work wiating for me at the forge, and I cannot lose any more time. And I cannot allow you to stay here alone, either. It's far too dangerous. If you're interested in seeing more we maycome backanother day, but for now I have an axe to finish. »**

Laurelin nodded, and a few moments later they emerged into the sunlight again. It was so blinding, after the darkness of the mines, that Laurelin had to blink for a few seconds. Then they walked home together.

**« So. »** Thorin started, once they were inside, sheltered from the sweltering heat outside. **« What did you think of the mines ? »**

**« It's a very impressive place, » **she admitted. **« Yet what I liked best was not the mines. It was the small acve with the stalactites, and the black lake. It was so... so unreal... Almost too beautiful to be true... » **The pictures of the cave came back to her mind, all these shades of orange and pink and brown, and the flickering light of the flames making it all look almost alive.

When Thorin saw her dreamy eyes, he realized how much she had truly appreciated. He couldn't help but smile. She was so easy to please most women expected jewels and treasures and outrageously expensive dresses, but Laurelin was happy with almost nothing. It was a quality he appreciated. She was easy to live with, and not once – since she had moved into the forge – had he felt the slightest regret about this decision.

**« I always imagined caves to be dreadful places, but today I changed my mind about them, »** she admitted. **« Thank you for showing me, my King. »**

**« My pleasure, Laurelin, »** he replied curteously.

She looked him into the eyes, and they shared a smile of complicity.

* * *

><p>When the heat of the summer receded, replaced by a warm glowing autmun that turned the forests into flaming landscapes, there was another event that Laurelin remembered quite clearly. She had left the forge in company of Thorin, but soon the King of the Dwarves left her alone to talk with an old friend of his. Laurelin decided to go for a walk on the northern border of town there, she gathered bramble leaves to dry – she would use them this winter, in her tea, to cure cough and sore throats – and gather some late flowers for her grand-mother's tomb. When her basket was full, she decided it was time to walk home. She enjoyed the warmth of the sun on her face.<p>

And then, as she walked past the seamstress' shop, and her heart suddenly missed a beat when she saw all the gorgeous dresses spread in the morning light. They were dressed made for ladies, for sure – rich fabrics of silk and velvet and lace, and tight bodices embroidered with golden thread, and long ornate sleeves that flowed gracefully around the wrist... The colors were like a feast for the eye : emerald and blood red, deep blue and turquoise, shimmering black and creamy white with iridescent glints...

The woman who will wear those will feel like princesses, she reflected.

Laurelin stepped closer, and suddenly she remembered all the pretty ladies of Erebor, as she had known them before Smaug's attack. They were so gorgeous, so elegant... So refined in their adorned dresses, with braids and beads in their hair... Laurelin lowered her eyes, feeling suddenly very sad. _That's how a true woman is supposed to look,_ she realized. _That's what I should look like, too, if I want to catch the eye of a decent man._ Very briefly, Thorin's picture flickered in her mind, before disappearing again when Laurelin's fingers brushed the rich, flowing velvet of a silvery dress.

She sighed, then she walked home in silence, so distracted that she didn't even recognize the neighbor woman when she walked past her.

Once she was inside the house, she climbed the stairs an spread the bramble leaves on the small worktable she had retrived from one of the empty bedrooms the sun was shining on it through the window, so they would dry well. Then, as she was about to walk out, she suddenly grabbed her small cracked mirror and watched her own reflection. She didn't like what she saw – her unappealing slender silhouette lacked the opulent shapes of a true Dwarf-woman... Her face was weathered from spending too much time outside, tending the garden or washing the clothes at the river... Her hands were rough and callused from work... Her hair looked better than it had during their exile, yet it was still flat and dull... Her dress was old and worn and shapeless, making her look like a scarecrow... Of course, most other women of the village worked hard and looked like this, too – she was no exception – yet Laurelin couldn't help but compare herself to the highborn ladies she had seen during her childhood in Erebor. And the Lady Dis, too, that she saw at least twice a week.

_I am no more than a dull and pathetic semblance of a woman._ She realized. Her eyes listened, then filled with tears. How could any decent man ever see her as a woman worthy of interest ? There was nothing remarkable about her.

At this moment, she heard the door open as Thorin came home. She pictured him in her head, so tall and strong and handsome. He was not for her, and he would never be. A single tear ran down her peachy cheeks, then she rubbed it awya with her sleeve, put a forced smile on her face, and climbed down the stairs to start cooking the midday meal.

_That's all I will ever have. _She reflected bitterly. _My work, and my chores._

* * *

><p>After the autimn came the winter. A harsh winter, as usual for the poeple who lived at high altitude. Snow started falling in october, thick and heavy. Cold winds blew between the white peaks of the Blue Mountains, and every morning the windows of the forge were covered in a thick layer of frost. It's during this winter that Laurelin met Vilmar.<p>

Thorin knew that Dwarf well. He was a hunter, one of those Dwarves who had settled in the steep alpine forests, on the western slope of the mountain, instead of living with the others in the village. Usually they kept to themselves, and showed little to no interest in things like gold or jewels. They survived in the woods thanks to the game they hunted, and they got what little money they needed by selling trophies or horns or furs or leather. The most valued trophy was mouflon horns, because these animals lived so high in the mountains and could climb so agilely that killing them was extremely difficult. These hunters only visited the village when they needed to by the rare things nature didn't provide for them, and that's how Vilmar ended up in Thorin's forge one morning – to order a set of new arrowheads.

The first time he came, Thorin was not there so it was up to Laurelin to welcome him. He talked with her for a while, with a charming smile on his face, then he said he would come back later. The second time he came, a few hours later, Thorin was there but Vilmar still insisted to share some words with Laurelin after he was finished talking with the King.

And after that, he came almost every day, on the pretense of giving Thorin explanations about what he wanted his arrowheads to look like – but it was obvious to everybody that the real reason behind his visits was Laurelin.

At first, Thorin didn't like this intrusion. He knew most of the hunters were humble and decent folk, and this one in particular had never given him any reason to doubt his honesty, yet whenever Thorin saw him talking to Laurelin he felt a pang of dislike. He had not forgotten what had happened to her all those years ago, and he didn't want soemthing similar to happen once more. She had endured anough pain and hardship. She really didn't need to suffer yet another blow. Sometimes, it made him so uneasy to see her with this man that it haunted his nights he tossed and turned in his bed, unable to find sleep or to forget Laurelin's smile as she looked at Vilmar. And what about that one time she had laughed at one of Vilmar's jests ? This feeling of uneasiness was burning in him day and night, like red-hot iron, and filled even the happiest moments of his live with gloom.

Sometimes he questioned himself, wondering why he was feeling such things, and at first he thought he had found the answer – because he cared for her. He wanted her to be safe and protected. Yet after a few days, he realized it was more than just that. He didn't have a name for what he was feeling – because it was something he had never felt before, for anybody – but it made him want to kick the intruder out of his forge at once.

As for Laurelin, Thorin couldn't really tell whether she appreciated him or not. She was always polite and smiling, of course, but she always kept a safe distance between them, too – did she do so because she was too shy to relax in his presence ? Or because she wasn't enjoying his presence ? Did she want Thorin to help her drive him away ? Did she want a few hour's leave to spend more time with the Dwarf ? She was, after all, old enough to be courted now. She may be looking for a husband to found a family. She may like this Dwarf. Or she may not.

Thorin was so confused about it - and since he didn't like to be confused – he decided to talk to her one evening.

_Let's clear it up, so at least I will know how to react next time he shows up._

Laurelin had just left her usual spot in front of the fire, and was about to go upstairs, when Thorin called her back.

**« Laurelin ? »** he called softly. **« Can I have an honest talk with you ? »**

**« Of course, my King. »** she said, a bit surprised and worried. Did she do something wrong, perhaps ?

**« I have seen you talking to Vilmar this morning. »** he started very gently, to make sure she didn't take it as a rebuke or something like that. **« He's coming here very often, these day, and we both know it's not my swords or my arrowheads that interest him. »**

**« I... yes. »** she said, but she didn't know how to continue. Talking about that made her horribly uncomfortable. **« He's been here almost every day. He never said it plainly, but he... he made it clear he has some interest in me. »**

Thorin felt a flash of anger as he heard those words, but he refrained himself from showing it. In truth, he didn't have reason at all to be angry, did he Vilmar was just a man being nice to a woman he liked. There was nothing wrong with this. And besides, he didn't want to upset Laurelin by acting rashly in front of her, or by letting her believe she had done anything to annoy him.

Laurelin blushed. Somehow – and even though she felt no attraction to Vilmar – she was flattered. It was the first time a man was showing some interest towards her. She could still remember the man's lingering gazes, the way he smiled kindly at her, the pleasant words he told her... Once, he had even brought her a tiny cat carved into the horn of a chamois. Anybody would have guessed his feelings towards Laurelin. Even the neighbours had noticed, and had congratulated Laurelin about catching the interest of such a handsome Dwarf.

**« And may I ask you how you feel about this ? »** Thorin said, with a worried frown on his face.** « I don't want to intrude into your private life, Laurelin. You owe me no explanations, no justifications. And you are free to do as it pleases you, of course. I just wanted to make sure he isn't bothering you. »**

**« No, he isn't. »** Laurelin told him honestly. **« I am not interested by him, as a... potential partner. But he is kind, and curteous, and talking with him is pleasant enough. He's never given me any reason to be wary. »**

**« Then I have no reason to worry ? »**

**« No reason to worry, my King. »** she assured him with a smile. She was pleased to see him so protective towards her. It made her feel safe.

**« If anything changes, though, I would love you to come and tell me. » **Thorin said, unable to stop worrying. **« If he starts being too insistant, or bothersome, or even threatening... If he does anything unpleasant, I want you to come straight to me, and he will never come close to you again. »**

**« I will, my King. »** she said.

**« Good. »** He paused, then he sighed. **« I'm glad we talked about it, Laurelin. At least everything is clear, now. »**

Laurelin nodded approvingly, then they exchanged one last look before the young woman went to bed upstairs.

Thorin felt a strange kind of relief as she left. The idea that she may like this other Dwarf, and leave the forge to live with him in the forest, had been been gnawing at him for days. He couldn't imagine his life here without Laurelin, and he could even less imagine her in the arms of another Dwarf. He was greatly relieved to hear that none of this would happen, and for the first time in days he knew he would be able to sleep soundly.

Vilmar came once more on the following day, then the day after, and then slowly he realized it was hopeless. He came less and less frequently, till one day he stopped visiting Laurelin completely . The young woman woman felt a bit sad about it, because she liked talking to him, but she was also relieved. She knew her feelings towards him would never change, so she was glad he stopped wasting his time on somebody who would never be able to give him what he was looking for.

_Now he is free to find himself another woman,_ she thought, and she wished him all the good luck in the world.

* * *

><p>A few weeks later, as winter reached its height, something happened that marked a true change in the relationship between Thorin and Laurelin. They day had been awful snow and icy cold winds, and the grounds frozen as hard as stone. It was warm enough in the forge and in the adjoining house, but Thorin had been outside all day long, to help the loggers in their negotiations with the humans. He came home frozen to the bone his lips were chapped, his fingers stiff with cold and his feet so frozen they had become numb. He was not frail man, yet he was shivering from head to toe. Even before food, he asked for a hot bath. Laurelin hurried to prepare it for him there was warm water on the hearth already, but she still needed to haul bucket after bucket upstairs, to Thorin's bedroom. She poured it into the tub, and soon the room was filled with hot steam.<p>

When she was finished, she found Thorin and tolf him the bath was ready.

**« Thank you. »** he said with a weak smile. He started climbing the stairs, very slowly. When he reached the middle of the staircase, he turned around. **« Laurelin... Would you mind helping me to remove my boots ? My fingers are so cold and stiff. I won't be able to open all the buckles by myself. »**

**« Of course, my King. »** she said.

She entered into Thorin's bedroom with him, and when he sat on his bed she quickly opened the buckles of his boots, as he had asked her. She could feel how cold his skin was, underneath the wool of his thick socks.

When she was done, she walked out again, but just before she reached the door she remembered the old times, in Erebor – and how the servants used to help their masters in the bath. She just felt like Thorin could need some extra care, today. He looked so weary, so exhausted. First she hesitated – could she realy ask something like that ? How would he react ? Would he see this as an intrusion in his private life ? She feared he would take this as some sort of depravity towards him, even though it was not her intent at all.

Then she decided to take her courage in both hands.

**« My King... You look so tired tonight. »** she started shyly. **« You need to rest, and to relax. Maybe... »** She cleared her throat, and continued. **« Do you wish me to wash your back, and help you wash your hair ? I know that's what the servants used to do, in Erebor. » **He looked at her, his eyebrows raised in surprise. Laurelin blushed. **« I don't want to force my company on you after such a long hard day. I just want to help you feel better. »** she added hastily. Then she lowered her eyes, and cursed herself for making this suggestion. She shouldn't have talked so impudently.

Thorin sighed, and didn't answer immediatly. He gave himself time to think about it. He wondered why she asked this now, after so many years ; did she pity him ? Did she feel pressured into doing this ? Did she think she had no other choice, since she had seen other servants do this years  
>ago in Erebor ?<p>

**« I know you are kind, and I know you want to help, but I don't want you to do something you are uncomfortable with. »** He paused. **« It's your choice, and I won't blame you if you don't feel up to doing what other servants did in Erebor. To be honest, I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open, and I would gladly accept yout offer – but only if you think you can do it without feeling ill at ease, or anything. There is no pressure on you, no duty whatsoever »**

**« I will gladly do anything that helps you feel better. »** she said with genuine kindness. Thenshe added in a timid voice : **« And well... You're no stranger to me, my King. I have no reasons to be uncomfortable in your presence. »**

Thorin smiled.

**« No, we're definitely not strangers. » **he agreed amiably. He was pleased to see that the young woman was truly relaxed and comfortable. Playing the stern and commanding master who frightened his serving people, like some other Dwarf-lords liked to do, had never appealed to him he wanted the people who work for him to trust him, and appreciate his company. And obviously, judging by Laurelin's behavior, he had succeeded. She was calm and smiling, and being around her felt like true friends being in each other's company. It was a pleasant feeling. Very pleasant. He smiled, and removed the boots she had opened for him. His fingers were starting to warm up. The pain was awful, but he knew it would get better soon.

Before Thorin even said a word to her, Laurelin walked out of the bedroom to give him privacy while he undressed, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. She prepared the table for Thorin's dinner, after the bath, and when she was done she knocked at his door.

**« Can I enter, my King ? »** she asked softly.

When Thorin answered yes, she opened the door and entered. He was sitting in his tub, and only the upper half of his body was visible the rest was hidden underneath the surface of the hot water. Yet it was enough to make her feel slightly giddy she hadn't seen him like that since the day she had cared for her wounds, after the battle of the Moria. She could see his skin, and his muscles, and his battle scars. For a brief moment, she froze and didn't know what to do, then suddenly she remembered her duties – but she carefully avoided to let her gaze linger on the man's bare chest. She was too respectful and well-mannered to act in a way that could be interpreted as inappropriate.

She grabbed the soap and the washing cloth, and sat on a small stool behind him.

**« Is the water warm enough ? »** she asked.

**« It's perfect. »** he replied in deep, weary voice.

**« I'm going to wash your back, now. »** she informed him, then she started washing him.

She started by removing Thorin's hair from his shoulders, then her soft and warm hands made contact with his cold skin. Laurelin felt a brief but violent shiver run across her whole body. She started rubbing his back, but her touch was so soft and delicate that it felt more like a caress than a tre scrubbing. She could feel how stiff his muscles were under his skin, then she felt him relax slightly as she kept frictioning his back. The scent of the perfumed soap was helping, too, as well as the warmth of the water.

At first, Thorin barely felt her light touch, but then slowly her hands grew firmer, stronger, and he closed his eyes to savor the moment. It was nice to be sitting here in the hot water, with the smells of soap floating in the air, and nothing to do but to let his mind drift off. It was a real privilege, he realized. Something he had lost with the fall of Erebor, and that he was glad to have again, now. And the fact that it was Laurelin, and not just a mere servant, made it even better – he would have felt uneasy if some stranger had intruded into his intimacy and touched him in such a way, which would have taken away some of the pleasure. But from Laurelin he could accept it without the situation being awkward. Her hands moved as if she knew exactly what he needed, almost as if she could read in his mind. It was the most pleasant feeling in the world. He wanted it to last forever.

When she was done, she put back the washing clothes and grabbed a small wooden cup. She filled it with water, then she poured it onto Thorin's head, that he had docilely leaned back. His hair was long and thick, as black as a crow's wings. Laurelin applied a thick coat of soap on them, then she rubbed it thoroughly for a few minutes. Thorin didn't speak his eyes were closed, and Laurelin guessed he was already half-asleep. She didn't want to disturb him with her chattering, so she kept silent as well, enjoying this new task more than she should have. She also took the time to rub his scalp, very softly, with infinite delicacy, from his forehead to his neck.

She finished by washing the soap off his hair, very carefully, making sure the warm water didn't run down his face, before running water down his chest and back, to warm him up. She was pleased to hear him sigh in contentment.

**« I am finished, my King. »** she said gently, a few minutes later.

**« Thank you. »** Thorin said in a sleepy voice, barely more than a whisper. **« It was very kind of you. »**

She was smiling, happy that Thorin had appreciated her ministrations.

**« I will prepare the dinner now. »** she said. **« Everything will be ready by the time you are finished. I've prepared you a set of warm, comfortable clothes. They're on your bed, right there. »**

**« Thank you. »** he repeated, and this time a tiny smile turned up the corners of his lips.

She walked to the door, then she turned around one last time. She didn't look at him directly – it would have been rude to stare at him while he was undressed – but she pointed at the towel that hung over the back of a chair, where Thorin could reach it when he would get out of the bath.

**« I warmed it next to the fire. »**

Thorin heaved a deep sigh of contentment.

**« ****I don't know what I would do without you, Laurelin.**** »** he said, and he truly meant it. She was ever so helpful. His life would have been a good deal harder if she had not been standing at his side, ready to satisfy his every needs.

Then she left his bedroom and closed the door behind her.

Once the door was closed, Thorin opened his eyes again, and watched longingly at the place where Laurelin had been standing moments before. Her presence had been soothing and relaxing, and the room suddenly felt very cold now that she was gone. Very lonely, too. He took a deep breath, and in spite of his exhaustion he hurried to finish his bath, so he would be able to join her in the kitchen as soon as possible.

On the other side of the door, Laurelin sighed as she descended the stairs to go into the kitchen. She could still feel his skin under her fingers, at first so cold, then warm and pleasantly soft... And his muscles, too... Years and years of sword practice had left their mark on him, shaping his body to something that was close to perfection. Being so close to him had been pleasant... Not only close like two friends, like they had been before – but physically close... She had enjoyed this new taks, and she hoped she had been good at it, good enough for Thorin to ask it from her again, in the future.

The only dark cloud that marred her happiness, that night, was the amount of scars she had seen on Thorin's body. Sword scars gathered during the battles. Some of them she had bandaged herself, so many years ago, after the battle of Azanulbizar... Others were even older, and some were still quite fresh... There had been a small skirmish with a group of human smugglers, a few months ago...

_He deserves some peace and quiet in his life, now,_ Laurelin reflected as she stirred the pot of stew. _He's had enough of battles and violence._


	11. TEACHING

More years went by, without anything noticeable happening in Thorin or Laurelin's lives. Laurelin was doing her work in the house and in the garden, and helping Thorin with the bath had become a daily task as well, although it was a pleasant one, involving warm water and scented soap. It was better – by far – than toiling in the muddy earth to grow vegetables, or scrubbing the filthy kitchen floor after she had accidentally spilled food on it. She also helped Thorin as much as she could in the forge. She learned to buy the right tools for Thorin, to negotiate with the miners – something she turned out to be quite good at, in spite of her shyness – and she also helped him more directly in his work ; her slender and agile fingers were good at assembling ringlets for chain mails, but Thorin also taught her to engrave tiny, delicate ornaments into the steel. Sometimes she etched dwarvish runes of good-luck and protection into the blade of a sword, or the name of the owner, but most of the times it was just pretty adornments made to embellish the weapon, without any real signification. She loved doing this, because she always felt so proud when she watched the finished blade with her own little touch on them.

One day, as Thorin received an important order from the Men in the valley below, he just shoved it into Laurelin's hands.

**« My hands are covered in soot and sweat, but I'm curious to know what they want of me. I don't want to wait till the end of the day. Would you read it for me, please ? » **he asked the young woman.

Laurelin froze it didn't last long, but it was pretty obvious. She lowered her gaze on Thorin's workbench.

Surprised by such an hesitation, Thorin watched her intently.

**« I can't... »** Laurelin said at last. It was the very first time, in all those years she had worked for him, that she told him these words. They were horribly hard to say. They made her feel so embarrassed. **« I'm sorry, my King... but I can't. I'm sorry. »**

Her throat was so tight with shame that she could barely speak.

Baffled by her behaviour, Thorin put the pair of pliers he was holding in his filthy hands onto the bench. Never before had she refused him anything. Never. Not even once. It was so unlike her, to act like that, that he couldn't help but feel worried.

**« Is everything all right ? » **he asked her, trying to meet her gaze but she kept her eyes low, showing him nothing but the top of her head.

Laurelin shook her head, but she knew it would not be enough to reassure him. Confronted to her obvious distress, he would not let her go away without doing his best to make her feel better about whatever was bothering her. She knew she had no other choice but to tell him the truth, no matter how hard it was.

**« I... I can't read. » **she admitted, her cheeks turning a violent shade of red. Tears of shame and humiliation welled up in her big brown eyes.

It took Thorin a few moments to realize what she had just told him, then he cursed himself for being so clumsy. He should have known. Dwarf born in humble families, like Laurelin, most often didn't have the chance to learn their letters. He should have known better than to put her in such an embarrassing position, ordering her to do something she had never been taught, and giving her no other choice but to refuse. He apologized several times, trying to convey to her how sorry he truly was, and then he assured her she had absolutely nothing to be ashamed about.

Laurelin nodded, but it was pretty clear to Thorin that she was still feeling very embarrassed about it. He didn't like seeing her so ill at ease in his presence. Guilt and compassion both flooded his heart. He tried to find a way to make her feel better, but he didn't come up with anything - so he just watched her walk away, feeling horribly guilty.

It's only hours later, as he was finishing a heavy battle-axe for one of his own warrior, that he came up with the solution that might solve the problem.

He dropped his tools at once and went looking for Laurelin. He found her in the kitchen, preparing a tasty stew with beef and carrots for dinner. She didn »t look up at him. Her eyes kept eluding his gaze.

**« Laurelin, please look at me. »** he pleaded. It hurt him to see her like that.** « Please. Don't be ashamed of yourself. Yoi have no reason to be. You did nothing wrong. » **

After a long while, she looked up at him at last, very hesitantly.

**« My King ? »** she asked, even more shyly than usual.

Thorin took a deep breath to gather his courage, then he continued :

**« Laurelin, while I was working out there... I had an idea... I don't know what you will think of it, but well... there's something I want to ask you. » **A smile was slowly growing on his lips. **« You told me you've never learned to read, or to write... I should have known, and I apologize once more for putting you in such a situation. It was all my fault, and I want to make up for that mistake. I also want to give you something that will make your life both easier and more pleasant. » **Her eyes met Thorin's at last. **« Laurelin, would you like me to teach you to read ? »**

The young woman was so startled she didn't know what to answer, at first. She wasn't even sure she had truly understood his words – maybe her ears had deceived her ?

The she saw the sincerity in Thorin's eyes.

**« You... you would really do this... for me ? »** she said unbelievingly, her voice so weak it was almost inaudible. Tears of emotion filled her eyes. **« I... I would love to learned the letters. » **She continued. **« To read, and to write, and maybe even the numbers... » **A shiver of excitement ran down her spine. **« It would really be an honour to learn all these things from you, my King. And promise you I will always do my best to learn as quickly as possible. »**

She couldnt help but smile as enthusiasm suddenly overwhelmed her.

**« Maybe we can start tonight, when we are both done with our chores ? » **Thorin suggested, amused – and pleasantly surprised – by the eagerness he saw in Laurelin.

**« It would be wonderful. » **she agreed, while stirring the stew.

In her mind, she already saw herself reading Thorin's letters for him, or writing to his important clients, or making lists of everything they needed... Maybe she could even do the book-keeping for him... Every new skill she could learn was welcome, particularly when it was such a useful skill. It would indeed make her life much easier.

She thanked Thorin several times, then they both went back to theit tasks.

Thorin cleaned the blade of the ax he had just finished, till it was sparkling, then he left the forge to deliver it to its new owner, at the other end of the village. He was feeling happy – truly happy, as he had not been in a very long time. He was really looking forward to spend the evening with Laurelin, like a child who is impatient to open his presents on his birthday.

He smiled to no one in particular, and admired the beauty of the blue sky as he walked through the village.

* * *

><p>That evening, when they were both finished with their chores, after dinner and bath, they sat in front of the fire, on a thick bear fur Thorin had accepted as a gift from the hunters a few days earlier. They could have sat at the table, but since Laurelin loved to sit in front of the fire Thorin had chosen to giver her the lessons there, to be sure it would be as pleasant as possible for her. In front of them, there was a roll of old parchment covered in letters and runes the black ink stood out on the white paper, and Laurelin admired the beautiful, rounded shapes of the letters, as well as the sharper, geometrical edges of the dwarvish runes. She was curious to start the lesson, and to learn what significance was hiding behind each of them.<p>

Then Thorin pointed at the first letter with his finger. Laurelin smiled, and listened to his deep, soft voice as he taught her with infinite patience the name and spelling of each lettter, each rune. She was determined to learn as much as possible, as quick as possible – not only to prove him she was attentive and clever, but also because she was eager to use these new skills in her daily life. She did her best to remember even the tiniest bits of information Thorin was giving her, but in truth she enjoyed the closeness with Thorin just as much as she enjoyed the knowledge he was offering her. He was still smelling of the wildflower-scented soap she had bought for him several days ago, and she could feel his breath brush her hair everytime he breathed out, making it dance around her face. It was a pleasant sensation to be sitting next to him like that – pleasant and comfortable, and she was almost disappointed when Thorin declared it was time to go to bed.

The next day, as well as every following day for a period that lasted approximately six months, Thorin and Laurelin sat together to teach and learn. During the first days, Thorin used to be a bit hesitant – he had never done something like that before – but soon he came to enjoy those quiet moments with Laurelin. He liked having her sitting so close to him, with a smile on her lips and a look of concentration on her beardless face. She was working hard to be a good pupil, it was obvious every time she mastered a new word, her big brown eyes shone with pride. Thorin loved to watch her when she was so pleased with herself. Even when he was exhausted after a particularly hard day, he still made sure he spent at least a bit of time with Laurelin, because his evenings would have felt very empty indeed without this. Sometimes, on very bad days when the burden of being a king was too hard to bear, the only thing that gave him the strength to not give up was the prospect of seeing Laurelin after the nightfall.

For Laurelin too, these lessons became an important part of her life. She always did her best she was not afraid to take initiatives or to try reading new words, even if she was not sure about the pronunciation. She knew Thorin would neither judge her, nor laught at her attempts. She trusted him, and that trust gave her the confidence to progress as fast as she did.

After six months, Thorin declared that she knew everything there was to know, and that he had nothing to teach her anymore. She immediately suggested to her King that she could read his mail for him, from now on, and he was glad to accept. She had this particular smile every time she opened one of his letters... such a pretty, endearing smile... Thorin couldn't get enough of it, because her good mood was always so contagious it could drive away Thorin's darkest thoughts and bring back a smile on his face, no matter how bad the day had been.

A few days later, Thorin came home one evening with a beautiful quill, a bottle of ink and a roll of cheap parchment.

**« After reading, maybe you also want to learn writing ? »** He asked, as he offered her the presents he had bought for her.

Laurelin was touched by Thorin's kindness, and she promised him she would always take good care of her new tools. Then she told him how happy it would make her to take more lessons with him writing was the logical continuation of reading.

They started that same evening. Thorin started by writing the letters himself, and by asking her to watch how he was doing it. Then he asked her to copy these letters the easiest letters and runes she drew alone, so concentrated on her task that she completely forgot about everything else. Sometimes she even forgot to breathe, and it was only when the letter was finished, still glistening with black ink on the piece of parchment, that she did remember to take in some air. When they took on more complicated letters, Thorin put his big hand over Laurelin's to guide it, and they wrote together. Thorin greatly enjoyed this physical contact with her her hand was rough and a bit coarse, but it was also small and frail, and pleasantly warm. He always felt very reluctant to let her go once the letter was finished, but he didn't want her to feel ill at ease so he never allowed the contact to last longer than what was necessary.

All in all, it didn't take Laurelin very long to master this new skill as well – three months, maybe four. So they moved on to the numbers. This was harder for Laurelin she had learned to count, of course, because it was something she needed in her daily life. So many eggs to buy on the market, so many copper coins to pay for a chicken... But it was very basic, and she still had a lot to learn. It took them a while, but Laurelin was determined and very enthusiastic, and in the end she managed to master the numbers as well.

When Thorin realized he had no more reasons to spend time with Laurelin, he suddenly felt very sad. Going back to his lonely evenings, without Laurelin's amiable presence, would be very  
>hard indeed.<p>

**« I am very proud of you. » **He said with a kind smile, after he had rolled the last piece of parchment. **« Not so long ago you expressed your desire to do the book-keeping for me, and I will be more than happy to accept. It will be a great help for me, since I have no love for numbers. I know how to addition or substract them, but I take no enjoyment in working with them – unlike you. It's pretty obvious you love the numbers. I'm sure you will appreciate this new responsibility. »**

Laurelin smiled broadly, and nodded.

**« It would make me very happy indeed. »** she agreed.

**« And there is something else I want to tell you, Laurelin., » **Thorin said, with a warm smile. **« I have a collection of books upstairs, in my bedroom – I am sure you know what I'm talking about. And you are free, now that you can read, to choose any book from my collection, since you seem to take so much pleasure from reading. I am sure you will greatly enjoy them. » **He paused, then he ran the tip of his tongue over his dry lips. He hesitated. He was not sure how she would react to his next words. He did not want to make her feel ill at ease. Yet he said it anyways.** « You are more than welcome to read those books here, in the warmth of the fire, where I can help you if you need it. »** He paused again. **« I... I have grown quite fond of those moments we shared here, every evening. I would miss them if you... if you decided to spend your evenings in your own bedroom. » **He cleared his throat. **« There is no obligation, of course, and if you feel the need for some privacy while you read you are free to join your chamber. But if you want to read here, well, I want you to know that you are welcome and I will definitely not see it as an intrusion from your part. »** He realized this last sentence may have sounded a bit cold. **« It would actually make me very happy if you chose to come here to read, because I really appreciate your company and I would certainly miss it if you decided to read upstairs, in your bedroom. »**

He feared he had said too much, yet she didn't seem upset or ill at ease. She blushed, of course, but a shy smile blossomed on her thins lips.

**« It would please me too, to read those books next to you, on this bear skin where I feel so cosy and comfortable. » **she replied, her smile growing wider. **« I also loved the moments we shared while you were teaching me. I would miss them, too. »**

Thorin was happy to see her so enthusiastic. Her smile was beaming, and it warmed his heart. He had taught her because reading and writing were useful skills, of course – but also because he truly liked her and he wanted to do something kind for her. It made him feel happy to see she appreciated it as much as he had hoped.

Weeks and months went by, and soon, Laurelin had read all the books on Thorin's shelves, so he bought her new ones whenever he had the chance every time, he was rewarded by grateful smiles. Her enthusiasm and impatience, and the eagerness with which she started reading them as soon as she found the time for such trivial occupations, were the proof of how much she appreciated these new additions. Thorin learned what kind of books she loved, and what she didn't like, and his heart also filled with joy when they spend hours discussing about one or another book they had both read. Laurelin had an opinion on everything, and could chatter endlessly about the passages or the characters he had enjoyed. Her knowledge in gardening and growing medical plants increased as well, and she started doing her own herbarium.

Sometimes Thorin watched her from afar as whe was reading, and he felt proud of himself. I am the one who taught her, he reflected. Of course, he hadn't done it to get anything back from her, it had been completely selfless, yet seeing her like that was a form of reward. Usually she was always scrubbing and cooking and working, so it was nice to see her doing something for her own pleasure, sometimes. She was very pretty, when she was curled up in a ball on the bear skin, so relaxed and content, with a faintsmile on her face as her eyes ran endlessly from the left to the right of the pages.

She looks happy, when she is reading, and Mahal knows she needs such small moments of happiness.

But what Thorin didn't know, was that reading was not the only thing that made Laurelin happy. Of course she enjoyed the words and the stories and all the emotions it wakened in her, but what she liked even more was Thorin's closeness. He didn't sit next to her, as he did when he taught her to read, but he was always in the same room. Sometimes when she was finished, the talked what she had just read, and even though they sometimes had very different opinions on things, Laurelin grealy enjoyed discussing it with him. The smiles and the looks they shared on these occasions were a balm to her scorched heart, and slowly the loneliness that used to weigh on her shoulders grew fainter, easier to bear.

* * *

><p>A few months later, when Thorin came home after a visit to Balin, he found on his anvil a pair of heavy leather gloves and an apron, brand new and still smelling of the oil that had been used to treat the leather. Surprised, he grabbed them and inspected them – end then he saw the small piece of paper that was hung with a piece of string around one of the fingers. He recognized Laurelin's elegant, meticulous handwriting. Four words, no more. <em>Thank you, my King,<em> she had written. He understood the gloves and the apron were presents she had bought him. At first he didn't understand why she thanked him – he had done nothing remarkable, these last days – then he figured it out at last. His eyes fell down on the piece of parchment again and he smiled as he saw the beautiful letters. She was so good that non one could have guessed she was new at writing. Then Thorin's smile froze as he inspected the gloves : They were made of excellent leather, both supple and strong. And the apron was just as wonderful. He knew the price for such items, and he cringed as he imagined Laurelin parting from so many personal coins just to buy him these.

Since he knew Laurelin was not at home, he resumed the work he had put aside when he had left for Balin's house – but in truth he was watching out for the young woman's return. He tried on his new gloves, and was pleasantly surprised by how well they fitted his hands the old pair he had bought years and years ago was now worn and torn and patched up in several places, and had barely protected his hands anymore. It was a real pleasure for Thorin to slip his big hands into this new pair, on to work with them. They felt like a second skin, and wearing them was so comfortable he almost forgot he was wearing gloves. The apron was thick and heavy, coated with several protective layers that would protect him effectively against the sparks that flew in every direction every time his hammer hit the red-hot steel.

When Thorin heard Laurelin's light steps in the living quarters attached to the forge, he quickly finished what he was doing and then, when the steel turned black and hard again, he put it on his workbench with infinite precautions. He could finish later. He hurried into the kitchen to seek out Laurelin. He was still wearing the gloves and the apron, to show her how much he appreciated them.

When the young woman saw him walk into the kitchen wearing the new items, she smiled broadly. They looked even better on him than they did in them leathersmith's shop, and it made her happy to see that he had started using them as soon as he had found them.

**« Did I choose the right size, for the gloves ? » **she asked. **« The woman who sold them to me said I can bring them back if they don't fit, to get another pair of gloves in exchange... »**

**« They are perfect. » **Thorin said, very earnestly. **« They fit so well I could almost believe this woman made them specifically for my hands. »**

**« And... do you like them ? »** she asked him, but when she looked at his pleased smile she already knew the answer.

**« They are perfect. » **Thorin repeated.** « It was very kind of you to buy them for me, yet I cannot accept such a gift, Laurelin. I know the price for such gloves. What I did for you is not worth you spending so much gold for me. You have more need of this money than me. »**

**« With due respect, my King... you cannot refuse a gift. »** she told him. Her voice was soft, and her eyes brimming with tenderness.

Yet Thorin acted as if he hadn't heard her last words. He opened the purse that was tied on his belt, and removed several gold coins from it.

**« Here. »** he said, stretching out his hand to offer them to Laurelin.

**« Certainly not ! »** Laurelin exclaimed, as she stepped back to make it clear she would not take them.

**« I don't deserve such an expensive gift. » **Thorin said stubbornly.

**« Of course you do. »** Laurelin replied. **« You taught me to read, and to write... You gave me the opportunity to learn something no other woman of my condition ever learned before. You may not realize it, but it means so much for me... »**

Thorin gazed at her in silence for a long while, then he sighed, looking suddenly resigned.

**« Very well. » **he said at last.** « I accept your gifts. And I am very grateful, too. I have to admit I truly needed new gloves, and a new apron as well. And you chose them well, too. As usual, your common sense and your good taste made you choose what's best. »** He lifted one of his hand, so they could both admire the glove. **« And your writing was perfect, too. »** he complimented her. **« I had never seen such beautiful letters before. My own handwriting looks poor and shabby, compared to yours – and I am not telling you this to flatter you. I truly mean it. You have learned so much, these last months. You really are an exemplary pupil. »**

Laurelin blushed a bit, but her eyes sparkled with joy. Hearing Thorin compliment her like that made her feel happy, and so proud of herself.

Thorin watched her smile he was surprised to see so much emotion in her eyes, when in reality he had done no more than just being honest with her.

**« Thank you. »** he said.

Laurelin nodded, and was about to return to her work – she had started to scrub the work surface when Thorin had interrupted her – when suddenly Thorin opened his arms and hugged her tight against his broad chest.

**« Thank you so much. » **he repeated, and after a few moments he felt Laurelin relax against him. He held her close for a few moments, enjoying the intimacy of this physical contact with her, then he released her before she could feel ill at ease.

She met his eyes, and they both started smiling in unison.

* * *

><p>Once Laurelin knew how to read and write and work with the numbers, Thorin was glad to let her do all the tedious work he had no patience for a King he may be, but in truth he enjoyed physical work far more than reading countless letters or making endless lists. It bored him, and it also annoyed him because it made him lose precious time. Laurelin, on the other side, enjoyed such things. In the beginning Thorin supervised her work, to be help her whenever she needed it, but soon he realized it was not necessary Laurelin was clever and smart, and she knew how to manage everything on her own, without help. Thorin couldn't help but admire her. She had come such a long way from the frail, shy girl he had met so many year ago. She was so useful and efficient that he couldn't even imagine running the forge without her. Whatever she was doing, she always gave her best and Thorin knew he could trust her blindly, without the slightest hesitation. And besides, Laurelin's neat and elegant handwriting was far more pleasant to look at in the registries than Thorin's spidery scrawl. Laurelin's small hand drew each letter, each number with minute perfection.<p>

On her side, Laurelin greatly enjoyed having more responsibilities, and the diversity of the tasks she was now accomplishing for Thorin filled her with enthusiasm. In the beginning, she was just a serving girl, using her hands to scrub and cook and clean, but now she also used her head and she loved it she relished adding and substracting numbers, and coming up with the correct answer, and she also relished all the challenges this new work was offering her. Every day she learned to cope with new situations, and she learned new words, new tricks to be even more efficient. Sometimes, when she hesitated – which did not happen very often – she asked Thorin for help, but instead of telling her straight away the answers she wanted to hear, he just guided her very subtly into the right direction, allowing her to find the solution by herself and to feel very proud of herself.

All in all, Thorin teaching Laurelin to read was an important turning point in their relationship. From this moment on, they started spending almost all their evenings together. Sometimes they played games – likes cards, or jacks, or dice – but most of the tie they read, sitting side by side by the fireplace, feeling so comfortable with each other. Sometimes, they even read the same book together. Laurelin really appreciated those moments, because Thorin was sitting particularly close to her on these occasions, and sometimes their fingers brushed imperceptibly as they both tried to turn over the page. Thorin was a strong and fierce warrior, a king of Durin's line, yet when he was with Laurelin she saw nothing in him but gentleness and softness.

Thorin also enjoyed these evenings, when they both read together. He loved feeling her arm pressing against his arm as they both leaned over the same book he loved hearing her deep, slow breathing he loved these slightly awkward moments when their fingers accidentally touched but more than anything else, he loved watching Laurelin while she read. Her big brown doe eyes were wide open, with an adorable half-smile on her lips. Her features were so relaxed. Most often, Throin reached the end of the page before Laurelin, but the fact that he had to wait for her at the down of every page didn't even annoy him – on the contrary. It gave him time to watch Laurelin on the quiet, while her mind was elsewhere. Thorin could have watched her for hours and hours.

Sometimes he was feeling the urge to put his arm around her, but he didn't want to take the risk of frightening her and making her stop their reading activities together – so he did nothing, and she just admired her in silence.

For now, it was enough for him to feel contented.


	12. LEAVING

The day Thorin announced he would leave the Blue Mountains to go looking for his father Thrain was bitterly cold cold rain was falling from the sky, and turning into ice as soon as it touched the ground. The roads were treacherous and slippery, and on top of everything else cold gusts of wind were raging between the peaks of the mountains. Laurelin wondered why the king had chosen such an awful day to gather everybody on the village square. He could have waited a day or two, couldn't he ? It would have been much more pleasant if he had told them about his quest – or whatever it was – on a beautiful sunny day, wouldn't it ? But anyways, here they were standing, getting drenched under the rain, listening to Thorin's words as he told them he would leave in a few days, and stay away from the Blue Mountains for an undetermined period of time. Laurelin watched the faces of the other Dwarves around her some were surprised, others shocked, and others openly disapproving. No one lingered, thoufh, since everybody was eager to go back to the warmth of their homes.

During the following days, Laurelin heard people mutter about Thorin's decision. Of course, they never talked openly in front of her, because they knew she worked fot Thorin, but as soon as she had her back turned they talked in hushed voices. Most people seemed to think Thorin was foolish to do something like that. Thrain, son of Thror and heir to the line of Durin, had disappeared decades ago, during the Battle of the Moria even though his corpse had never been found, the old Dwarf was surely dead somewhere, his white bones bleached white by the sun. Because if he had still been alive, he would have joined them here long ago. They had arrived in this village several decades ago, and they had prospered with each year everybody in Middle-Earth now knew that the sons if Durin lived in these mountains. If Thrain had been alive, it would have been easy for hilm to find them and to join them – but he hadn't. And his absence was the very proof that he was no longer alive.

Yet on the other side, Thorin was dead set on believing his father was still alive somwhere.

Laurelin didn't even know what to think anymore. She tended to share the villager's opinion, but she also knew Thorin was neither stupid, nor silly if he believed his father was alive, he probably had good reasons to do so.

The day before Thorin's departure, he bid farewell to the population, and to his friends. Balin was looking at him with sad eyes, as if he already knew Thorin's quest was doomed to fail, but when the King glanced at him the white-haired Dwarf smiled gently. Next to him, Dwalin was standing tall and strong. He looked almost naked, without his huge battle ax.

**« Let me come with you, Thorin. » **he pleaded in a deep voice. **« You can't go alone. »**

**« Yet I have to. »** Thorin said in a determined voice.

**« Even if Azog is dead, as you seem to believe, there are still Orcs and other foul beasts roaming the wilderness. »** Balin said, backing up his brother. **« Going alone is too dangerous. We cannot take the risk of losing you. »**

**« No one will lose me. »** Thorin said wirh a reassuring smile. **« And this is something I have to accomplish on my own, Balin. »**

The old dwarf sighed, looking suddenly very resigned, while Dwalin's gaze filled with sadness and frustration. _Staying behind must be very hard, for such a tough warrior like him, _Laurelin pondered as she watched Thorin walking away from his two friends.

In the end, when there was no one else left, Thorin went to see his sister and her sons. The Lady Dis was as beautiful as ever, with her richly adorned beard and her heavy dress. Her black braided hair reached her broad hips. Standing next to her, Fili and Kili had reached this awkward stage between the end of adolescence and the beginning of adulthood Fili already seemed to be closer to the adult side – he was quiet and devoted to his family – yet there was still a spark of mischief in his beautiful blue eyes as he elbowed his younger brother in the ribs before whispering something in his ears. He was a fine warrior now, with his father's blond hair and proud face. His beard was not so impressive yet, but he had braided his moustache and adorned it with brass beads. He was among Thorin's finest fighters, now, and he carried two identical swords that Thorin himself had forged for him, several years ago. Kili, on the other side, was a rather unusual Dwarf. His cheeks were covered in no more than soft stubble, and his weapon of predilection was a very unusual one : the bow. Most warriors among the dwarves despised bows, yet Kili was deadly brilliant at shooting. The lad was good with the sword, too – Thorin and Dwalin had seen to it – but the bow would always remain his favourite.

Usuall, Thorin's nephews were both laughing and carefree, but on this particular day their faces were grave as they watched their uncle.

**« Let us come with you. » **Filli said as he took a step forwards. **« We are no longer little boys. We can fight, now. We can help. Give us a chance, uncle... »**

**« And Thrain is our grand-father, »** Kili added, looking up at Thorin with pleading eyes.

**« No, » **Thorin answered stubbornly. **« I will have to refuse you both as well, just as I refused Dwalin's help. Another time you will come with me, and I will be proud to travel with such fine warriors as you have become, but not today. »**

For a fleeting moment, Fili seemed to be about to stand up to his uncle, then he sighed and nodded slowly. They didn't insist any more.

Thorin smiled kindly at them, then he hugged them both, one after the other.

**« Watch over your mother during my absence, will you ? »** he said jokingly, and Dis rolled her eyes behind her sons, with her fists on her hips. Then she pushed Fili and Kili aside, and hugged her brother for a very long time.

**« Be careful, Thorin. »** she said. **« Please. Be careful. »**

Thorin answered something Laurelin couldn't understand, then the three of them walked back home, looking rather sad and dejected.

Thorin went to bed early, because he had planned to get up before the break of dawn, the following day. Laurelin finished to clean the house, then she went to bed as well she could have read in front of the fire for a while, but without Thorin it would not have been the same. It would have been so empty and boring. But once she was in her bed, she didn't fall asleep. She tossed and turned under the blankets, restlessly thinking about the next day.

The idea that Thorin would leave made her very uneasy. She would be alone once more, with no one at her side – and for how long ? Months ? Years ? Forever ? What if Thorin forgot her ? What if he found something or someone better on the roads, and decided to stay there ? What if he never came back ? What would Laurelin do, then ? Be alone again ? It had taken years for her and Thorin to know each other so well, and to build this comfortable life at the forge the young woman didn't feel able to start everything all over again, with somebody else.

The more she thought about all these things, the more her heart was heavy with sorrow and anguish. This noght, for the first time in a very long time, she curled up in a tight ball under her blankets and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

><p>Next morning, Thorin woke up very early. Outside, everything was still very dark. Dawn hadn't even touched the horizon yet. He stretched, and got up very slowly part of him wanted to run and to be off as soon as possible, but another part wanted to savour the comforts of his home for as long as possible, while he still could. Then he sighed, and slipped into the warm, comfortable clothes Laurelin had laid out for her, yesterday a linen undershirt, a grey woolen shirt, a doublet of oiled leather and a pair of thick canvas trousers, oiled as well to keep water and melting snow from seeping through. Then he climbed down the stairs.<p>

He hadn't bid farewell to Laurelin yet, because he knew she would be upo this morning to talk to him one last time – and he was right. When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he saw the flickering light of a candle on the kitchen table. Laurelin was not far, standing in the shadows, her hands budy on something Thorin couldn't see. She turned around and looked at him when she heard his footsteps, but her face was unreadable. Thorin didn't know if she was worried, sad, or angry – or maybe there was a little bit of everything ?

Anyways, he smiled as he walked into the kitchen, feeling glad to have this last chance to speak to her in private. She was not just some serving girl after all in fact, he realized, Laurelin had become closer to him than any other Dwarf he knew – closer even than Dis, who was his sister and whom he knew from earliest childhood.

She definitely deserves a few private words, and an explanation, he decided.

He started by repeating the safety instructions once more,because he didn't want something bad to happen to her during his absence. Everybody knew she was working for him, and everybody would know she was alone, without anybody to protect her. Some might want to try and take advantage of such a situation, and Thorin didn't want something like that to happen. This is what was frightening him most : not his own safety during the trip, but Laurelin's safety while she remained home alone. He wanted to be absolutely sude nothing would happen to her.

**« I'm sorry to leave you behind. »** he then told her, very earnestly.** « I wish I could do otherwise, but I can't. »** Telling her what was weighing on his heart was hard – he was not a man who opened up easily – yet she had done so much for him, over the years, that she deserved his honesty. **« I am sure my father is still alive somewhere. Please don't ask me how I know it, because I wouldn't be able to answer you – but I just know it. He is alive. And the fact that he didn't come back here to find us means he is in a terrible situation. Captive, probably. I can't just sit here and wait. I need to do everything in my power to find him, and to save hime. »** He paused, then he continued in a sad voice. **« And if he is truly dead, as everybody seems to think, well... then at least I will know. I can't spend the rest of my life living in uncertainty and doubt. »**

**« I understand, my King. »** she said, nodding slowly.

**« I know you have lost your whole family, and I also know how afraid you are to be alone... I am sorry to abandon you... But I know you well, Laurelin, and I trust you. I am sure you can understand my need to go and search for my father, and I hope you will find it within yourself to forgive me. »**

**« There is nothing to forgive. » **she assured him, with a gentle smile, and he saw in her eyes that she truly meant her words. It felt as if a heavy weight was removed from his chest. **« I cooked a few eggs for you, and I also bought some travelling bread from the baker's shop. You will be able to keep it for a fortnight, so even if you don't find any civilized place to stop for the nights, at least you will have something to fill your stomach. »**

Thorin thanked her, then he shifted to another subject.

**« As for the money, Laurelin, of course I will not leave you to cope on your own. »** he said very seriosuly. « **I have prepared a chest for you, with enough gold to buy yourself everything that's necessary. There's gold for one year, approximately. I don't expect to be gone so long, so you will have more than enough to live a comfortable lifre in my absence. »** She opened her mouth to say something, but he didn't let her talk. **« I think I know what you're going to answer. »** he said, smiling.** « You will say that you don't care about money, and that you don't need much to be contented – yet there are still some things you will necessarily have to buy. Food, for a start. You'll have to buy food. And to buy food you need money. »**

**« I can't accept, my King, » **she said, dumbfounded. She had never expected him to give her so much gold, just like that.

**« Of course you can. » **Thorin said, very kindly. **« Try to see it not like a gift, but like one year's worth of wages, for the work you will be doing in my absence. Since I will not be able to pay you every month, I pay you now. »**

**« But I won't be doing much, in your absence... I'll just be cleaning the house, and tending the garden. I can't... As much as I appreciate your generosity, my King, I can't accept such an important sum of gold without doing anything to deserve it. »**

Thorin had more or less expected such a response from Laurelin. It was always so hard for her to accept a gesture of kindness, even if in truth this wasn't even a kindness : Thorin was merely just acting responsibly towards her. But even that she couldn't accept.

**« I have something for you, then. »** he said, and he smiled as he saw curiosity in her eyes. **« I don't know if you have heard about it, but Balin has decided a few months ago to gather all the books that were saved from Erebor. He says they are a treasure, and while most of it had been devoured by Smaug's fire, there is still something to be saved. They represent the knowledgs and lore of Durin's folk. He takes this work very seriously. But of these books and rolls of parchment are in a very bad state – burned and dried up, crumbling under the fingers when one tries to read them. So Balin decided to copy them anew. It long, tedious work. And more than once, he told me the task is too demanding and time-consuming for one Dwarf alone. More than once, he said he could do with some help. So... well, if I am gone and you don't want to stay idle, maybe you could help Balin... ? Your handwriting is so elegant and meticulous, and I know how much you love working with a quill and fresh vellum. Your work would undoubtedly be a great contribution to the library Balin is trying to set up. »**

Hearing this made her unbelievably happy.

**« But what will Master Balin think of it ? »** she asked, suddenly unsure again. **« Did you talk to him about me ? Will he accept me ? »**

Thorin nodded, and Laurelin felt suddenly a shiver of excitement run through her whole body.

**« I told him you might work for him for a few months, and he seemed to be genuinely pleased by the prospect. »** Thorin explained. **« He has seen the books you are keeping for me, concerning the forge. He has seen your handwriting, and he knows how clever you are. I'm sure he will have more than plenty of interesting work for you, and I'm sure he will be more than happy with the result. »**

Thorin was pleased to see Laurelin's face light up with happiness.

**« Thank you so much, my King. »** she said with the most sincere gratitude, her eyes full  
>of emotion.<p>

Once this matter was settled as well, Thorin moved on to his plans. He told Laurelin where he would begin, at the doors of the Moria.

**« But I don't know where I'll go after that, or even how long I will be gone... It all depends on what I will find, if I find anything at all... »**

**« Will it be dangerous ? » **Laurelin asked, looking up at his face.

Thorin took a while to answer. He didn't want to frighten her, but neither did he want to hide the truth from her.

**« Well, to be truly honest, Master Balin was right, when he told me the world is full of foul beasts. There are Orcs, and maybe even worse creatures. I may have to use my sword from time to time. » **He saw fear glistening in Laurelin's big brown eyes, so he put a hand on her shoulder. « But I am used to such things, Laurelin. I've been trained as a warrior, and I have no fear. There will probably be nothing out there that I can't fight and beat. » He saw she was still looking anxious, so he put a hand on her shoulder and added in his most reassuring voice : «** Don't worry, Laurelin. I will be back soon – with good or bad news, but I will be back. Besides, I've asked Dwalin to come by every now and then. His presence – and his ax – should be enough to keep any intruder away from this house. And away from you, as well. I trust Dwalin, he's been a loyal friend all his life. I promise you that you can trust him too. You don't need to fear him. »**

_He doesn't understand,_ she realized. It was not really for his safety that she worried, because she had already known everything he just told her she had already known that Thorin was a formidable warrior, and that he would easily be able to overcome the few enemies who would cross his path. She knew she didn't have to fear for Thorin's life. She also knew her own life was not really in danger. Laurelin's distress had nothing to do with all these things. It all came back to her deep, desperate fear of being alone and abandoned. This fear of him finding happiness somewhere else, and not coming back... What would happen, then ? She didn't even want to think about it.

Yet she couldn't utter such thoughts aloud, so she just remained silent and handed him the travelling bread. It was a heavy loaf, made of dark, hard-baked dough and grain. It was wrapped in a towel to keep it fresh as long as possible.

**« Thank you. »** Thorin said kindly. Attentions like these, particularly when they came from Laurelin, always made his heart melt, yet he saw she was still distressed. He was looking at her, with worried eyes.

**« Laurelin, please... »** he begged. **« Don't fear for me. Everything will end fine. »**

_I do not fear for you, because I know you are able to survive anything, my King, but I fear for what will happen to me if you don't come back._

The words almost escaped her throat, but she bit her tongue just in time to keep herself from talking. Part of her wanted him to understand her feelings without her having to say them aloud, and another part wanted him to remain ignorant of those same feelings. She was torn and distressed, and then suddenly something came to her mind. Something that was maybe a bit foolish, but she had to give it a try anyways :

**« Maybe I could come with you, then ? » **Laurelin suggested, her eyes suddenly hopeful.

Surprised by this most unexpected demand, Thorin took a while to come up with a decent answer. He didn't want to hurt her once more.

**« Laurelin... »** he sighed. **« You can't – and I don't say this because I think you're too weak to travel with me, but only because I don't want to make you suffer uselessly. » **He paused, and grabbed her hand. **« I would love to have you at my side during this journey. Your presence would be a blessing, and would undoubtedly make it more pleasant for me. But it will be a hard journey. I will travel though the wilderness. Riding and walking all day, from dawn to dusk. Sleeping outside, in the cold, on the bare ground, with no more than some furs and blankets. In the best of cases, I will find some town and pay for a bedroom in some cheap tavern... Sometimes there will probably be days without food... »**

**« I've done all this before, when we fled Erebor. » **she insisted.

**« Yes, and I remember how much you hated it. How much you longed for a home, and a safe place. I really don't want to make you go through such hardship again. It would be utterly cruel and selfish from me to make you endure such things just for the mere pleasaure of having your friendly presence at my side. »**

Tears filled her eyes, but Thorin didn't know why she truly cried : because she would be alone ? Because he had just rejected her offer ? Something else, maybe ? He could see she was doing her best to hide her distress, but she was not a good liar. Her emotions showed clearly on her soft, round face. He squeezed her shoulder.

**« Besides, most people here still see you as my servant, even if we both know you are so much more than just a servant. If you leave with me, the gossips will talk about nothing but this for weeks, if not years. I don't want their spiteful and degrading words to hurt you, because you deserve better than this. »**

**« I don't fear the gossips. » **she answered. «** Let them talk. They can't affect me... » **She lowered her eyes.** « But I understand you are true about everything else. I would be a burden for you, if you took me with you. »**

**« Not a burden. »** he assured her.** « But I would definitely worry a lot for you, yes. And I truly think it will be better for you to stay here while I am gone. You will be safer, here. You will be home. And knowing that you are here, sleeping in a warm bed every night, eating your fill every day, will give me the courage to not give up, when things will be tough. **

**« So I am... I am truly more than just a servant, in your eyes ? » **she asked timidly. Her first reflex was to lower her eyes, but she forced herself to look up at him.

**« Of course. » **Thorin answered withtout even the slightest hesitation. The he smiled warmly at her. **« Many years ago, I called you a friend, and nothing has changed – except maybe that the ties binding our lives together have grown even tighter, since I told you these words. »** His smile grew even broader. **« I'm sorry I didn't make this clearer for you. Maybe I should have told you this more often, because it makes me feel sad that you still think of yourself as a servant... »**

The smile on Laurelin's soft pink lips was discreet, but genuinely happy.

**« Come with me, please. »** he then said.

He walked out of the kitchen and into the barn, carrying an oil lamp in his right hand. Everything was still dark and quiet, but the smell of the baking bread in the baker's oven was tickling their nostrils.

Laurelin followed Thorin without a word.

Once they were both inside the barn, Thorin removed the blanket that was spread over the small cart. Laurelin gasped as she saw what was hidden underneath the blanket : bags of flour and oatmeals, huge amphorae of oil and wine, casks of pickled fish, whole wheels of cheese... She couldn't believe her own eyes.

**« I'm sure it will be easy for you to buy fresh food on the market every day, but these are all heavy items. I thought it would be difficult for you to drag them all the way back to the forge, so I decided to buy them straight away and to store them here, where it will be easy for you to help yourself. »** Then he showed her the fire wood he had stacked against the southern wall of the barn. **« I've bought enough to warm you till Spring comes, and I suppose I will be back by the time the next winter comes, so you won't have to worry for this either. »**

**« Thank you. » **she just said, too surprised to say anything more than that.

**« And if there is anything else you need, you can go to my sister, or to Balin. They will help you. »** Laurelin nodded, but Thorin was sure she would not do it. She never reached out for help, not even when she needed it so badly. So he insisted. **« Please, Laurelin, tell me you won't hesitate to ask for help, if you need it. Please. The idea that you might suffer from my absence is unbearable, for me. »**

**« I promise you that I will ask for help if I need some. » **she said. She was both pleased to see that he cared so much for her, and a bit annoyed that Thorin treated her like a child, unable to survive on her own.

But then he opened his arms and hugged her tightly, and suddenly she completely forgot about her resentment.

Thorin held her like that for a very long moment. He didn't want to leave her, and to leave this new life they had built together. He felt a pang a deep, heart-wrenching sadness at the idea of leaving her behind, all alone, like some lost puppy. _But you have no choice,_ another voice in his head scolded him. You can't let your feelings get in the way of what you have to do.

**« I will be back as soon as possible, hopefully with my father, »** he whispered into her ear. **« Please take care of yourself, all right ? »**

She nodded, with unshed tears in her eyes.

**« Thank you for understanding why I have to go. » **he added. **« It is really important for me. I can't give up on my father without even trying to find him. »**

**« I would do the same if it were my father. »** Laurelin assured him, with a brave smile. Then her tears started to roll down her cheeks, ans she buried her face in Thorin's shoulder to hide them. Thorin gently stroked her hair, then her back he rubbed it in slow circles for a very long time, very tenderly.

Then he lreleased her from his embrace, and took her hands in his.

**« I will be back soon. »** he promised her one last time.

Then he let go of her hands. He gave her the oil lamp, and walked out of the barn. Just before he reached the road, he turned around and smiled at her, before waving her good-bye. She was still crying, looking so small and vulnerable and forlorn.

Thorin closed his blue eyes, and prayed Mahal to find her safe and sound – and happy, too – on his return.


	13. BEING AWAY

Thorin had left the Blue Mountains a week ago, and the weather was absolutely fine : the sun was shining in a bright blue sky, and the temperatures were almost too warm for the season. Even though they were in the middle of winter, it felt like an early spring. Travelling would have been pleasant, for Thorin and his sturdy little pony, if the King of the Dwarves had not worried so much for his father. But Thrain's picture never left his mind day and night, Thorin had that knot in his stomach every time he tried to imagine where his father was._ Is he suffering ? Is he slowly dying ? Is he captive of the Orcs ? Or even worse ?_ It drove him mad with worry, so he he kept urging his pony forwards, without taking the time to linger anywhere or to admire the beauty of the landscapes surrounding them. They crossed mountaineous hillsides and grassy flatlands, stinking bogs and grey wastelands covered in thorns and bushes.

In truth, Thrain had never been an affectionate father he was a strong and severe Dwarf, but Thorin had still grown a deep bond with him. Every now and then, memories from his childhood came back to Thorin's troubled mind – like the first sword Thrain had offered him, or their trips to Dale, or all the hours they had spent together talking about the duties and responsibilities of a king...

**« I need to find him. »** He said resolutely, and his loyal pony only snorted in response.

And then there was Laurelin that haunted him, too. Usually, during the day, Thorin didn't really think about her, because he had to keep watchful and attentive, and there was always so many things to do. A moment of inattention could mean the death of them both. They had met no enemy so far – nothing worse than an angry boar – but this didn't mean the land they were crossing was safe enemies couold be lurking in the shadows, biding their time, waiting for the right moment to attack. Thorin's eyes and ears were constantly on the alert, and his hand was always ready to grasp his sword. Besides, the land here was dangerous in itself – steep and rocky, full of holes and deep cracks. One wrong step, and the pony could break his leg, which would undoubtedly mean his death. And then Thorin would have no other choice but to turn back and go home, because he could not possibly carry all his gear by himself.

But in the evenings, when Thorin sat alone in front of the fire, or just before he fell asleep, he couldn't help but think about Laurelin - and not because he missed the comforts she could have given him, of course. He knew how to prepare his own food, or how to make his bed, or how to do all these things the young woman usuall did for him. He knew how to manage on his own. But he truly, sincerely missed her pleasant company : her smiles, her voice as she softly hummed for herself while working, or her light footsteps all around him when they worked together in the forge... She was the familiar, reassuring figure that made his life complete – and now that she was gone he missed her with unexpected strength. He felt like his days were empty and tasteless, without their endelss conversations and their cosy evenings together in front of the fireplace.

Two weeks or so after his departure, as Thorin settled under his blankets to sleep, an old memory of Laurelin came back to his mind as he watched the stars above him, so bright in the velvety black sky. He remembered one particular evening, on their way to the Blue Mountains, when he had found Laurelin sitting alone on a flat rock, looking at the stars. He had felt his heart melt to see her so lonely, so he had joined her. They had not talked much, that evening, but somehow it had brought them closer together. And today – several decades later – Thorin still remembered it as vividly as if it had happened yesterday. He felt suddenly very nostalgic, and he sighed. It would have been so pleasant to have her at his side... He wondered what she was doing at this very moment. She was probably already asleep, or maybe reading in front of the fireplace after a pleasant day of work at Balin's library. He was reassured that she had accepted his offer to work with the old Dwarf, because he knew that Balin – and his brother Dwalin, too – would watch over her, if need be. He didn't doubt Laurelin's ability to manage on her own, but he mistrusted some of the travelling Dwarves that sometimes halted in the village for a few days. There were not many women among the population of the Blue Mountains, so if they found one who was not engaged Mahal only knows what ideas they could come up with.

_Stop worrying, _he chided himself. You did your best for her. And she's not a little girl anymore. She knows how to manage on her own.

Yet he couldn't stop thinking about her. He felt a bit guilty for leaving her behind like that, but on the other side he didn't really have a choice. He couldn't just leave his father to his fate and forget about him. This was unthinkable. He would have hated himself for the rest of his life, if he had stayed home quietly, without doing anything to help Thrain.

He contemplated one last time the bright stars, then he pulled the blankets over his body in a vain attempt to keep himself warm.

When he closed his eyes, it was still Laurelin that he saw. He imagined her laying in her bed, peaceful and serene, with a half-smile don her lips as she dreamed. It made him feel warm from the inside. It quieted his fears, and helped him fall asleep.

Several days later, he crossed a small town – the first one he encountered since he had left the Blue Mountains. In a dusty shop help by an old woman with grey hair, he bought several rolls of empty parchment and a bottle of black ink. Then he wrote a letter for Laurelin. He started by apologizing for not giving her any news sooner, but since he had been lost in complete wilderness it had been impossible for him to send her anything. Then he told her, with many details, everything he had seen and done since her had left her. There was nothing very interesting to tell her, so far, so he hoped she would not be bored by all the useless details. Then he told her that he misses her, but without telling her _how much_ he missed her, because he feared it would be inappropriate to express such feelings. He didn't want to make her feel uneasy. Then, at the very end, he wrote some words for Dis, Fili and Kili, and a few other friends. He knew he could trust Laurelin. He knew she would pass the messages along as soon as she would get the letter. As a conclusion, he told Laurelin he would write to her as often as possible, but he could give her no guarantees since he didn't know where his researches would lead him in the following days and weeks.

Then he sealed the letter with black wax, and geve it to some traveller he had met in a tavern. The man took a few gold coins, and accepted to bring the letter to Laurelin in the Blue Mountains. Thorin didn't know whether he could trust the man – it wasn't in his nature to trust strangers – and he kept wondering if the man would be true to his word. _What if he keeps the gold and throws my letter into the mud as soon as I will have my back turned on him ? But what other choice do I have, truly ? Probably none._

As he watched the man walk away with the precious letter, Thorin realized how glad he was that he had taken the decision to write. He felt relieved. The mere thought that Laurelin would soon hold it in her small hands was comforting him. He wondered what she would think of it, and hoped it would reassure her.

He spent the rest of the day and the following night in this nameless village. And next morning he resumed his travelling. There was nothing in front of him but rocky wastelands, with small thickets of low, twisted pine trees. It was a dreary landscape, and the dark clouds gathering in the sky made it look even more sinister. Soon it would rain, Thorin was sure about it.

More than ever, he was glad that Laurelin had not come with him. Knowing that she was at home, safe and warm, brought him comfort even as the first fat drops started falling from the sky.

* * *

><p>The worst moments for Laurelin were in the morning, when she ate alone in the kitchen before leaving for the library, and in the evening when she came back home just to find it cold and empty, without Thorin's comforting presence. Going into the forge was almost impossible for her, because every time she saw the dark and cold oven it reminded her of Thorin's absence, and woke her feelings of loneliness. Cleaning the house – which she only did twice a week, now that the house was unoccupied most of the time – was hard too, because everytime she entered Thorin's empty bedchamber she felt a pang of sadness. She did her best to dust and air the room whenerver she had a bit of time, but it still smelled stuffy. Sometimes she fell asleep with tears in her eyes, and every night after blowing her candle she prayed Mahal for Thorin's saf and quick return.<p>

Of course, working with Balin was a great help – not only financially, but also because it kept her mind off her worries. Balin was kind and soft-spoken, and he always had a gentle word for Laurelin. The young woman had immediately felt at ease with him, as if they had been friends all their lives. The work she was doing for him was pleasant, too : Balin gave her old, damaged books or scrolls that had been saved from Smaug's fire by the fleeing dwarves, and then she copied them onto new sheets of vellum or parchment. She loved the smell of new paper and ink, and when she started writing she was concentrated on the letters that she forgot about everything else. More often than not, her hands were black from ink when she was finished, but Laurelin didn't care about such details.

And she learned more about the history of their people, too. She read old tales and myths, and even started copying a huge, heavy book about Durin's reign, so long ago. It made her feel oddly proud to belong to such a great folk : right aftetr the fall of Erebor, when they had fled from village to village, living at the expense of the humans, they had been insulted and despised, and treated barely better than dogs. But now she slowly understood there was no reason to be ashamed of who she was, or where she belonged to. It gave her back a sense of pride, and it was a wonderful feeling.

But as soon as she left Balin's home, Thorin filled her mind again. She owed him so much, and she also missed him so much... She couldn't help but wondering where he was, and what he was doing. Of course she did her best to keep grief and sadness at bay, and to concentrate on happier things : imagine how proud he will be when he will see what you have done with Balin ! Imagine how alive the house will feel again, once he is back home !

But at night when she was alone in the house, sadness and loneliness crept back into her mind, making her lose sleep in spite of her exhaustion.

And then one day, almost two months after Thorin's departure, a strange man stopped in the willage – a real Man, not a Dwarf. He was tall, with short bushy hair and a pointy face, and dark eyes. Laurelin was so surprised when she heard him say her name that she almost dropped her basket stuffed with food. She hesitated for a few seconds, then she took a few steps that brought her in front of him. From the corner of her eye, she spotted Dwalin and a few other warriors, eyeing the strange warily, but them man didn't seem to be a threat. He smiled, then he shoved a yellow, dirty piece of parchment into Laurelin's hand, then he nodded briefly and turned around. Moments later, he had disappeared again.

Laurelin was so shocked that for a while she didn't even move. She just stared at the road where the man had walked moments before. Then she remembered the parchment. She looked at it, and when she recognized Thorin's black seal her heart started hammering in her chest. She hurried home, and opened it so quckly that she cut her finger with the knife-opener. Her hands were trembling with impatience.

She read each and every one of Thorin's words with eagerness. He didn't tell her anything of importance – he had made no discovered about Thrain, at the time he had written this – but she enjoyed it nonetheless. She smiled when she read how Thorin had managed to escape an angry boar in the forest, and she blushed when she read these words : She felt slightly dizzy. She had waited for a letter – or news of any kind – for so long, and now that she had gotten it at last she was feeling exhilarated.

_He hasn't forgotten me. _She reflected, her eyes shining with emotion.

Then she read the letter again, just to burn every word into her memory. Even though Thorin had promised her to write as often as possible, she knew it would not be on a regular basis. Weeks or maybe even months could go by till she would get another one. Her only regret was that she couldn't reply. She would have loved to tell him how much she enjoyed working with Balin, and how much she was relieved now that she knew Thorin fine – and other things, too. So many other things. But things being as they were, it was impossible for her to give him any news of what was happening at hom, so she just let out a frustrated sigh.

Several hours later, she walked out of the house, still very happy. Thorin had given her a few messages to transmit to his friends and family, and she was more than glad to do this task for him. She talked to the Lady Dis over a piece of cake and hot tea, then she visited the others, and when she was done the day was almost over.

During the months that followed, four more letters came to Laurelin, carried every time by another person. She read every one of them with the same eagerness as the first one, and she always savoured Thorin's words as if they were a treasure. They were the rays of sunshine that helped her go though the grey haze of loneliness.

And then one day, a sixth letter reached her home. It was short, but it brought Laurelin both intense joy and horrible sadness.

_I didn't find my father, and I probably never will. Persisting in this quest would be useless. I'm coming home, now._

He had written no more than this. At first it felt like a stab in her heart, because she just knew how much pain this caused Thorin – she could almost feel his pain seeping though the words – but then another though got the upper hand : _He will be home soon._ She realized. _He will be sad, angry and dejected, but alive. _

Laurelin wondered where he had been when he had written this letter, and how long it would take him to reach the Blue Mountains. She hoped he would be there soon, because the sooner he was at Laurelin's side again, the sooner she could comfort him.

* * *

><p>The sky was bright and blue, yet Thorin's mind was as dark as a thunderstorm cloud. He was not sad, no – he was devastated. He had finally understood that everything had been in vain. He had waited too long to search for his father, and now it was too late. There was nothing left – no evidence, no track, nothing. If Thrain was still alive somewhere, he was beyond help. Thorin's heart was filled with bitterness and resentment, that ate at him day and night, like poison. He hated himself for being unable to find his father. He hated himself for being such a useless, unworthy son. He hated himself for being so far from the grandiose king everybody thought he was.<p>

Yet somehow, as every step brought him closer to the Blue Mountains, slowly his fiery anger faded away, replaced by a deep sadness that made him cry tears of despair in the darkest hours of the night, when no one but the stars and the wild animals could see it. More than once, grief threatened to overwhelm and consume him, but every time this happened it was Laurelin who kept him going. Laurelin and her smile... Laurelin and her kindness... Laurelin and her gentle soul... The softness of her voice... And every time her picture bubbled up in his mind, it gave him the courage to get up in the morning, and to climb on his pony's back for another day of travelling. He clung to his memories of her and drew from her the strength to keep going.

Days turned into weeks, and then one morning he saw the hight peaks of the Blue Mountains at the horizon. They truly looked blue, from where he was standing.

**« Home. »** He whispered to himself, and as he pronounced these words alour he realized how much he had missed it. His house, his forge, his sister and his friends – but more than anything else, he had missed Laurelin. The idea that soon he would see her again made him suddenly smile. It would be good to be reunited with her again.

He took a deep breath, and resumed his journey ; since the ground was flat and even, he kicked his pony in the ribs to make him trot. With every step they were taking, Thorin's heart was growing more impatient to reach home.

A few more days later, they reached the roots of the Blue Mountains. Thorin felt a shiver of anticipation run down his spine as he realized he would see Laurelin in less than a week. He urged his pony forwards. Later, when night fell on the mountains, a bright and full moon rose in the sky, casting a ghostly light on Thorin's surroundings. Thorin decided that this light was enough for them to keep walking, because he didn't want to lose one single minute.

When he stopped at last, to grant a few hours of rest to his brave little pony, he was unable to find sleep. Being so close to home made him restless. He tossed and turned under his blankets, and then in the middle of the night it suddenly dawned on him how much Laurelin counted for him. She was a friend, of course, but also more than that. He was even closer to her than to Dis, lately. For several decades, she had been at his side every day, from morning to evening. Her presence had become an essential part of his life. If something happened to her, or if she left him, it would leave him completely broken. The thought that she had become so close was both warming, and a bit frightening – because never before had he felt so vulnerable. Never before had he depended on anyone else like that. As if his own life didn't really belong to himself anymore, but to Laurelin. His throat tightened and his heart started hammering in his chest, and for a fleeting moment he wanted to run away. For a man like him, who had been taught from earliest childhood that you have to be strong and fierce to survive, feeling such things was terrifying. But then so he took a deep breath to calm himself.

_Stop fretting,_ he chided himself. _What are you worrying about ? It's Laurelin. Sweet, kind and gentle Laurelin. There's nothing wrong in admitting that she had become indispensable. There's nothing wrong in admitting that you need her presence around you. Nothing at all. So stop being an idiot, and go home to find her._

Next morning, he woke up before dawn after a few hours of anxious sleep that left him even more tired than he had been before falling asleep. He was exhausted, yet he climbed the mountains as fast as possible, because he was eager to see Laurelin. Not Dis, not Fili or Kili, not Balin or Dwalin – no, he wanted to see Laurelin. Only her. Of course he loved his sister, his nephews and his friends. They were all very dear to him, but Laurelin was something different. Something stronger. Something overwhelming, that drove him forwards even when the muscles in his legs started protesting against the efforts.

Three days later, he saw the first houses of the village.

_I'm coming, Laurelin. You won't have to worry anymore. __I'm coming._


	14. BACK IN THE BLUE MOUNTAINS, PART 1

Thorin was spotted as soon as he entered the village. At first only a few curious men and women came out of their houses to greet him and ask him about his quest they had noticed Thrain's absence, of course, so most of them also offered him their condolences. But soon there was a whole crowd gathered around Thorin, each of them eager to exchange a few words with their king. Walking became harder and harder, and Thorin's frustration grew with every minute. As pleased as he was to be back home and to be greeted by his folk with such enthusiasm, it's Laurelin he wanted to see right now. And she was probably at Balin's home right now, at the opposite side of the village. It would take him forever to go there, if his people kept holding him down.

Gently but firmly, he shouldered his way through the Dwarves swarming around him. He kept repeating he would talk to each of them later, when he would be rested from his long journey, but most of them were too stubborn to move away.

When Thorin reached Balin's home at last, he knocked loudly on the door. It was Balin himself who opened the door. The old Dwarf looed up anxiously at Thorin, who shook his head slowly in response to the other Dwarf's silent question. Balin's face fell. Sadness filled his eyes.

**« We will talk about this later, if you don't mind. »** Thorin said in a deep, sad voice.

Balin nodded silently, and moved away to let Thorin enter into the house. As usual, everything was neat and well-ordered, and the walls were covered with shelves containing hundreds of books and scrolls. It smelled of ink and old parchment. The sun was shining into the house through the windows, bathing the main room with light and warmth.

Just as Thorin was about to ask Balin where Laurelin was, she entered into the room from the backdoor. When she saw Thorin, at first she froze and studied him for a few moments, as if wondering if he was real or if it was merely a vision. Thorin watched her as she stood there in the middle of the room, looking utterly confused in her old blue dress, with her hair braided back and an old scroll of parchment in her ink-stained hands. Being so close to her again, after their long separation, was feeling so good he felt his throat tighten with emotion.

_She is beautiful..._ He realized, wondering why he had never quite seen it before.

Laurelin's face was unusually smooth, yet it was pleasant to look at she had big brown eyes framed with black lashes, and a pretty smile, and a scatter of soft golden freckles across her nose and her cheeks. Her features were both soft and delicate. Her hair was light brown, but in the light of the sun it now shone with beautiful reddish hues.

And then suddenly, without a warning, Laurelin ran to Thorin and wrapped him in a fierce hug. Never before had she taken the initiative to hug him – or touch him in any way – but now she was so happy so see him again that she had lost all sense of modesty or restraint. She allowed herself to give free rein to her happiness.

Surprised by this unexpected hug, Thorin closed his arms around her nonetheless, and held her close for a long while, enjoying her closeness and her happiness. He couldn't help but smile. He may have lost a father, but at least he still had Laurelin, and somehow this knowledge eased the pain he was feeling every time he lingered on Thrain's fate. He rubbed Laurelin's back very softly, very gently. Balin was watching them with a puzzled look on his face, and other Dwarves were standing outside, peering through the windows in the hope of seeing what was happening inside.

**« Laurelin... »** Thorin whispered into her ear. His voice was deep, and hoarse with emotion. **« It's so good to see you again... How are you ? »**

**« I am fine, my King. » **She said in a reassuring voice.** « I am fine. » **Her broad, merry smile was the very proof she was telling the truth. **« Thank you for the letters... Thank you so much... They did me so much good, my King. It was a relief for me to get some news from you from time to time, even if it pained me to be unable to write back any answers... »**

Thorin let go of Laurelin, and contemplated her once more. It made his heart melt to see her so happy. He knew it had probably been hard for her to be on her own, but as he watched her now he realized he had worried in vain. She had managed on her own well enough. Instead of crying and sinking into self-pity, she had seen Thorin's absence as an opportunity to try out something new, and to take in hand her own life. It had done her good to do something else than working in the forge, even if it had only been for a few months. The change he saw in Laurelin was subtle, yet unmistakable : she had gained in confidence and maturity, and it pleased Thorin to see her like that. Her eyes were shining with emotion.

He took her small hands in his own.

**« I am so sorry I left you alone, but... »**

**« …but you had to, »** she finished for him, and she knotted her fingers around Thorin's.** « I know it, and I can understand. You don't owe me any apologies. And I... I am terribly sorry you didn't find your father. I know how hard it is... I wish... I wish there was something I could do to lessen your pain... »**

**« Let's not talk about this right now. »** he suggested, chasing away the despair that threatened to overwhelm him once more. **« I want to focus only on happiness, now. »** Then he looked at the curious people who were standing outside of the house. Some of them had their noses pressed against the glass panels of the windows. **« What about finding a quiet place ? »** he asked Laurelin. **« So you can tell me about everything that happened here while I was away. And about everything you did during my absence, too. I want to hear even the most insignificant details. »**

Laurelin nodded. He had been away so long, but now he was back and she was more than happy to be able to spend a bit of time alone with him.

But she didn't forget Balin.

**« May I leave my work for a few moments ? »** she asked, always curteous and polite.

**« Of course. »** the old Dward answered, with his usual kind smile.

Thorin and Laurelin walked away from Balin's house, while the old Dwarf shooed away the bothersome onlookers.

Since Balin's home was located at the border of the village, they didn't have to walk for a very long time to reach a quiet, lonely place it was a small alpine meadow in full blossom, bathed in warm sunlight. Grey granite rocks were jutting out of the ground here and there, and in the light of the sun they were glittering as if they were strewn with diamond dust. In the far distance, a herd of ibex was grazing in the shadows of the mountain. Thorin and Laurelin sat into the high grass, side by side. Soon, they were surronded by pretty butterflies with transparent wings who were flying from flower to flower, looking for sweet nectar. Laurelin couldn't have imagined a more idyllic place to talk with Thorin.

She started by telling him everything of notice that had happened in the village during his absence, like the birth of a pair of twin boys, or the miners' strike for higher wages, or the death of an old dwarf called Rakhandùr. It took her a long while, because she wanted to be as thorough as possible. She wanted Thorin to know he couls rely on her.

**« And you ? »** the King asked, when her voice died down at last. **« What about you ? »**

Knowing what she had done during his absence was far more important to him, for now, than anything else in the world.

So Laurelin told himl everything about her long days at Balin's home, about the books she had read and copied, and about all the things she had learned in the process. When she was done, silence fell between them, but it was a comfortable silence. Laurelin was aware of Thorin's presence so close to her. It made her feel slightly dizzy after having been deprived of him for so long.

Then, after a while, she started biting her lips, wondering whether to tell him or not the real reason why she had been so worried. Part of her was afraid to open up like that, but another part was eager for Thorin to know what she had truly gfelt when she had been alone.

**« My King, there's something I want to tell you. »** she started. He stared at her at once, looking intrigued. He smiled to encourage her. Laurelin took a deep breath and continued. **« While you were gone... I was so worried you would not come back... I was worried you might find another place somewhere... or another person... someone who could take care of you better than me, or a more comfortable home, or... »** she sighed. **« I was afraid you would completely forget about me, and never come back. »**

He took her hand in his once more, and squeezed it very tenderly.

**« Laurelin... how could I ever forget about you ? » **he said, with a warm smile and a glint of pure tenderness in his eyes. **« When you mean so much to me ? I never realized it before I left the Blue Mountains. I appreciated you, of course. And I loved every moment we spent together... But then suddenly I was alone on the roads, and... and as much as I was worried for my father, most evenings it's you that I saw when I closed my eyes... I missed your smile, and your voice, and your kindness... I missed your presence... »** He paused, then he lifted his free hand ias if to stroke her cheek, before letting it fall down into the grass again. He wanted to toucher her, and at the same time he was afraid to do so. « **I missed you more than I thought it was possible to miss somebody, Laurelin. You say you were worried that I forget about you, but in truth you were in my thoughts every single day. Killing a whole legion of Orcs with bare hands would have been an easier task than forgetting about you. »**

Laurelin was deeply moved by his words. She suddenly felt as is a weigh had been removed from her chest, allwoing her to breathe freely for the first time in a very long time. Tears rolled down her soft and smooth cheeks. She looked up at Thorin, and did what he had been too frightened to do : she lifted her hand and touched his cheek. It was very soft, no more than the tip of her fingers brushing over his rough skin, but it made Thorin shiver from head to toe.

**« As much as I am sad that I didn't find my father, the fact that I am now reunited with you makes the grief easier to bear. Being with you, and feeling your presence so close to mine, is like a balm for my wounded heart. » **His voice was deep and hoarse with emotion as he savoured Laurelin's gentle touch. Slowly, he relaxed and dropped the walls he had had to keep around himself during those six months of travelling.

In the end, he found the courage to remove his hand from Laurelin's and to touch her face as well, as he had been craving for earlier. He touched her as softly as if she were a porcelaine doll.

**« I missed you too... my King. »** she said with a smile, barely able to believe that Thorin was touching her with such tenderness.

Thorin's smile grew wider in response to her words.

**« I am sorry I put you through this. »** he said with genuine sorrow. **« But now I am back, and we are reunited at last. I don't think I will ever leave your side again, my sweet Laurelin. »** His voice was warm and kind and friendly as he said those words for the very first time, even though he was actually quite surprised. He had not meant to say those words they had just poured out of him, very naturally, as if his heart and soul had spoken through his lips in complete disregard of Thorin's usual sense of restraint.

Laurelin felt goose-bumps stand on the skin of her arms as he felt a rush of emotion wash over her. Never before had she felt so alive, so happy.

A few moments later, they walked back to the village together. As they passed in front of Balin's home, Thorin forned, suddenly worried.

**« So you enjoyed working for Balin, didn't you ? »** he asked, looking at Laurelin. **« Then maybe... Maybe you want to keep working with him, now ? Maybe the work there is more pleasant for you than working at the forge ? »** He looked at Laurelin's ink-stained fingers. **« If such is your desire, you can be sure I will not resent you for choosing to leave my service. I would miss your presence at the forge, of course, but I totally encourage you to do what you  
>love best. »<strong>

**« Oh yes, I loved working for Master Balin, »** Laurelin replied heartily. **« But I love working for you even more, my King. I would never leave your service unless I have no other choice. »**

Thorin smiled, relieved. The propsect of seeing her leave him alone at the forge had been a dreadful one, even though he would have done nothing to hold her back from doing what was making her truly happy.

They reached the first intersection.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, Laurelin and Lady Dis were sitting together at a small table of wrought iron, in Dis flowered backyard. They were sipping hot tea and eating cinnamon cake, while Thorin was sparring against his nephews with padded blades, to be sure they would not hurt each other. It was currently Fili's turn to fight Thorin. The young blond Dwarf was now a fierce warrior, and giving his uncle a hard time he was using two swords, one in each hand, which gave him a clear advantage. But Thorin had more experience, and more power behind each of his blows. He was slowly getting the upper hand over his eldest nephew.<p>

**« I hate to see them fight each other. »** Dis admitted. **« Not because I am afraid they will hurt each other, but because it reminds me of how dangerous our world is. » **She sighed, and drank a gulp of tea. **« If the world out there would not be so dangerous, there would be no need for them to learn fighting like that. I can't... Everytime I see them with swords in their hands, it reminds me that some day they might have to use them for real... » **Her dark eyes suddenly turned very sad. **« I lost my husband long ago, but I survived because I had to, for the sake of my sons. But if I lost Fili and Kili too... »**

She shook her head and didn't continue, for these thoughts were too terrifying to be  
>uttered aloud.<p>

**« I am sorry for your loss. »** Laurelin said politely, and she truly meant it. Losing her husband so shortly after the birth of their second son must have been a terrible blow, yet Dis had never complained, nor casked anything of anybody. Strong and independant, she had built herself and her sons a good life, juste like Thorin had.

**« Oh, forget it, I don't want to ruin your happiness. »** Dis continued. Her smiled reappeared as her eyes went from her brother to Laurelin. ** « It's pretty obvious you are delighted to see him back, and it makes me happy to know he didn't come home to a cold empty house, so please don't let my dark mood tarnish your joy. »**

**« Of course I am happy he's back. »** she said. **« I've been working for him for so many years. It will be reassuring to resume my familiar work and to share my daily life with him again, as we did before. Even though... » **She felt suddenly a bit ill at ease. **« I am sorry he couldn't find his father... your father... You have all my condolences, Lady Dis. »**

She shrugged, and bit her lower lip.

**« The day Thorin left, I already knew he would find nothing. Either our father was truly dead, like everybody seems to believe, or he was alive but permanently lost to us. Too much time had passed. All the tracks had disappeared long ago. My brother is stubborn and strong-willed, and once he has an idea in his head no one can make him see reason... But I am not like him. I knew from the beginning – and I told him so – that this quest would be a waste of time, so I never truly had any hope... It... Of course it hurt when Thorin came back empty-handed, but it didn't hurt as much as if I had had any hopes... » **She sighed heavily, but then her smile reappeared. There was something mischievous about her, suddenly, as she looked at Laurelin. **« So you are reassured that Thorin is back... but to me it looks like you are more than just reassured, aren't you ? » **

Laurelin blushed and Dis chuckled softly, but in a friendly way.

**« And it's not only you, of course. » **The lady continued. **« It's my brother, too. He's different. The way he looks at you... I don't know what exactly he feels for you, but I just know there is something. » **She paused, and then she studied Laurelin's face. **« It reminds me of our younger days, before the fall of Erebor. As if he had cast away some of the grief and resentment that plagued him since Smaug's attack. As if... » **She thought about it, then smiled again. **« As if he was more carefree, all of a sudden... And less burdened... I don't know how this miracle could happen, exactly, but I can clearly see you have something to do with it... ? »**

Laurelin was aware that Dis wanted to know more about it, but she resolutely decided to keep everything private. She didn't resent Dis for asking – curiosity being a naturel feeling, after all – but on the other hand it was none of Dis' business.

**« I am sorry, my Lady. »** Laurelin started, but before she could add anything else Dis laughed again. She had a loud, cheerful laughter, juste like her youngest son Kili. Laurelin couldn't help but smile in spite of her embarrassment.

**« Don't apologize. » **Dis said, before biting into her piece of cake. **« I am the one that should apologize, for being so nosy. I won't bother you again, I promise. » **But then suddenly all the mirth disappeared from her face, and she frowned. **« But you know, Laurelin... Other people talk, too. Many of them have seen your reunion with Thorin, earlier today. They started talking as soon as you left Balin's house with my brother. I was there. I listened to what they said. »**

Laurelin felt her heart beat slightly faster. She didn't like the idea that people were gossiping about her, or about the relationship between her and Thorin.

**« And... what exactly are they saying, my Lady ? »** Laurelin asked tentatively. She was not even sure she wanted to hear the answer.

**« Most people were harmless enough. »** she said, looking intently at Laurelin. She didn't want to hurt the younger woman, but she was also a very straightforward woman, and sometimes people felt offended by her brutal honesty. Since Laurelin seemed to count so much for her brother, she didn't want to do or say something that might hurt her in any way. **« They say it's wonderful to see their mighty king so attached to a... mere serving girl. » **Dis had hesitated on the last words. Calling her a serving girl when she was so obviously more than that felt uncalled-for. **« They say it's the proof of our King's kindness and humility. Not like the kings of old, who revelled in their superiority and treated others like witless, worthless good-for-nothing. But there are other rumors, too. Some people were smiling as they said there is something like unavowed love between you and my brother. They seemed to find it amusing or touching enough. » **Then Dis lowered her voice, and leaned closer to Laurelin. When she poke again, her voice was low so that no one else could hear what she would say. **« Some people said you're actually sleeping with my brother. That he's only keeping you at his side for this reason. Because you are pretty and... »** Dis cleared her throat, looking embarrassed. **« I'm sorry. It's not what I think, of course. I'm merely repating what I heard. Since you are concerned by these rumors, I think you need to know. »**

Laurelin was so shocked that she didn't know what to say. She was not the kind of woman to listen to gossip, and most often she always avoided to spend time with women who liked to talk behind the back of other people.

And then something else hit her :

_If Dis has heard such tales, did Thorin hear them too ? _

This thought was enough to frighten her. She didn't want people to have a bad opinion on him because of her of course she had always done her best to act like a decent woman, and to give them no reason to gossip about her, but obviously it had not been enough. And she didn't want Thorin to think she had said or done anything during his absence to lead people to such conclusions.

**« Laurelin, if I have one advice to give you, it is this one : don't listen to such filth. »** Lady Dis said with conviction. **« Let them talk. They're no more than idiots, anyway, if they are stupid enough to spread such tales. We all know this, don't we ? And Thorin knows it too. He will never blame you for the twisted ideas these unsavoury dwarves may have about you. Let them talk and act as if you didn't hear them, because if you let them bother you, they will take it as the proof that they are right about it, and this is the last thing you want, isn't it ? »**

Knowing that Lady Dis, at least, was convinced these ugly tales were no more but lies comforted Laurelin and made her feel better. She didn't know what exactly there was between Thorin and her, - because she had never experiences anything like that – but she knew there was absolutely nothing shameful about it. It pained her that some people had come to the wrong conclusions after watching her reunion with Thorin, and that these people had turned their friendship and tenderness into something digusting.

Dis patted Laurelin on the forearm.

**« They will forget about it as soon as something more interesting will happen in the village, you can be sure of that. »** she said comfortingly.

They were interrupted by Fili's shout as one of his swords flew out of his hands. Kili yelled in dismay, too, while Thorin glared triumphantly at them both. He was tall and fierce and strong, and sweat was now covering his brow.

**« One day you may beat me with a sword, Fili, but it's not today. » **he said with a friendly smiled, before patting both his nephews on their backs. **« Come on, let's go and find you mother, now, before she takes up her own sword and beats us all. »**

Both young Dwarves chuckled, and next moment they all sat at the table. Fili and Kili were rowdy and loud and exuberant, and Thorin's hand instinctively came to rest on Laurelin's.

Dis watched them for a while, her eyes going from one to another as if trying to guess what was going on between them. She didn't say a word, though, but the soft and discreet smile that stretched her fuzzy lips was enough for Laurelin to understand she accepted it, or maybe even rejoiced about it.


	15. BACK IN THE BLUE MOUNTAINS, PART 2

Thorin and Laurelin left Dis' house together, to get back to the forge. They were both impatient to be home, yet it they were constantly interrupted by other Dwarves who wanted to speak to Thorin : the King greeted them all and spoke a few words with them, always polite. He accepted their condolences and thanked them for their support, for their loyalty. He also announced several times that there would be no festivities to celebrate his return, since he came home without his father and he didn't feel like organizing a ceremony when his heart was still grieving for Thrain. Laurelin felt a bit awkward as she stood next to Thorin – not because of Thorin himself, but because she remembered what Lady Dis had told her earlier. Laurelin couldn't help but scrutinize every Dwarf they met, wondering what filthy tales he would tell his friends. The idea that some of them were imagining her behaving like a woman with no virtue made her terribly ill at ease. Yet every time she put some distance between her and Thorin, he just slowed moved closer to her again, with a reassuring smile that clearly told her : don't worry about such things, what they think or say has no importance to us.

After a while, less and less Dwarves came to bother them, and they would walk more freely. Thorin kept asking Laurelin about what had happened in the village, and she always gave him a thorough answer, with as much details as she could remember. It felt as if she had to catch up in one day for those long monthes without talking to him.

When they came home, the first task was to revive the fire. Laurelin had left the house long hours ago, so there was no more than a few reddish embers in the heart it was enough, yet, to start a new fire when Thorin put a stack of dry twigs on them. Soon, crackling flames were hurning, filling the house with a subtle scent of pine sap.

Laurelin still couldn't believe that Thorin was truly back, and at home with her.

_I just hope it's not a dream, and that I won't wake up tomorrow in a cold, empty house._

They sat in front of the fire for a while, enjoying their mutual presence in silence. Then Thorin was the first to speak :

**« I can only imagine how lonely you must have been. »** He said in a whisper. **« All alone in the empty house... At least I was travelling, and I didn't have to face the familiar places we used to share. I'm sorry you had to go through this. And I realized I should have written more letters, but ink and paper were hard to come by, and... » **He sighed. **« I'm sorry. » **he repeated once more.

**« It's fine. »** Laurelin replied with a smile. **« You wrote whenever you could, and I was glad for each of your letters. » **

She stood up and opened a drawer in the kitchen sideboard. Then she grabbed the six letters she had been storing in there, and showed them to Thorin. She had taken great care of them, as if they were a precious treasure, and if they were battered it was only because the messengers carrying them to the Blue Mountains had not been very precautious.

Thorin smiled as he recognized them.

**« Every time I gave one of my letters away, I wondered whether you would get them or not. Some of them men I entrusted them to looked fishy enough. But now I see that you have gotten them all. It warms my heart to see that you have kept them all. » **

**« I... wanted to have them near me. » **She admitted. **«Where I could read them whenever I felt too lonely. Sometimes before going to sleep, I just read them all to give me courage, and to convince myself that you were all right. »**

Thorin pondered her answer for a while.

**« Your thoughts watched over me like a guardian angel. » **He said at last, in a dreamy voice. **« I could never forget you, Laurelin. You can be sure about that. »**

Thorin's hand moved over to stroke Laurelin's as he said those last words. He brushed her knuckles with the tip of his fingers, very timidly at first, but then he gained confidence and covered the young woman's small hand with his, very tenderly. It felt good, so he left it there. Laurelin's hand was small and warm. Unconsciously, Thorin started rubbing her skin with his thumb, and he did so for several minutes before he realized what he was doing then he froze, suddenly ill at ease. But as soon as he stopped moving his finger, Laurelin started caressing his big, scarred hand as if to say – I like it, please continue.

Thorin smiled weakly, still a but uncertain. But Laurelin's touch was pleasant for sure. The heir of Durin allowed himself to relax, and instinctively his thumb resumed stroking the young woman's skin. It lasted a few minutes Thorin didn't talk, but he just enjoyed the moment and the feelings this touch was awakening in him.

Then Laurelin decided to tell him something she had been keeping to herself so far :

**« Sometimes, when I felt too lonely in this big empty house, I wanted nothing but to run away from here and join you in your quest. »** She said softly, as she put the letters back in the drawer. **« I almost did it, several times, in the very beginning when I still knew where to find you. »** The she suddenly lowered her eyes in shame. **« But in the end I didn't have the courage to do it. Just leave everything behind... Travel alone with no one else to rely on... Live like a beggar on the streets... I couldn't. I just couldn't. I suppose I am not made for such an adventurous life. And I also... I alos feared your reaction, when you would find out I had been so rash and reckless. »**

Thorin was quite surprised by this confession, because he hadn't expected her to nourish such thoughts, but at the same time he was touched by her unyielding loyalty. It made him realize how much he counted for her, and knowing that he was important to her – important to that woman he admired and cared for so much – was a wonderful feeling.

**« The fact that you considered joining me means a lot to me. »** He started, taking Laurelin's hands in his and smiling at her. **« Yet in the end... it's a good thing you stayed here. It was the wisest choice, because the places where I travelled were dangerous and lacking all comfort. It would have been like a nightmare, for you. And besides... Joining me would have meant several weeks of travelling alone, which would have been even more dangerous. Knowing that you wanted to do it is enough for me. »**

When Thorin started removing his hand from Laurelin's, she held it back, then she looked up at Thorin, very shyly.

**« I would really enjoy it if you kept your hand here. »** She said in a timid voice. **« I... I still can't belive you are truly back... Sometimes I'm wondering if it's true, or if it's just my imagination making me see the things I want to see... but when I fell your hand on mine, well – it just helps me realize it is truly happening... »**

Thorin smiled amiably, and kept his big hand over Laurelin's smaller hands, both to comfort her and to warm her cold hands. It felt good for him too, to have this physical contact with her.

Silence fell between them for a while, then Thorin continued. His voice was deep and sad, and his eyes never left Laurelin's face.

**« I... When I realized I found never find my father, I was so angry... »** He sighed. **« Angry against fate who made us endure all these hardships, angry against my father who kept eluding me, angry against myself for being unable to help him... It burned me from the inside, day and night, without rest. But the closer I got to home, the better I felt. The pain, the gref, the anger... Slowly it faded away, replaced by other feelings. Hope, eagerness to be home again, and impatience... And I also realized several things... The importance of home... The importance of being reunited with the people I care for... and with you, Laurelin. »** He added, and he started rubbing her hands very softly. **« Knowing that I would be at your side soon help me to keep going... And somehow it made my father's death more bearable. It was still tragic, of course, but I... I don't know, but I suppose I just accepted his death... I now I am ready to go on with my life, and it's definitely thanks to you. »**

Laurelin had been listening to him with rapt attention, enjoying the warmth of his hand on hers as much as the words he told her.

**« I am so happy to be back home, now. »** He said, looking around him at the familiar living room. Nothing had changed since he had left, six months earlier. **« I missed you, and our evenings together in front of the fire. » **He admitted, looking back at her.

Laurelin hesitated for a moment, then she gave him the most sincere answer :

**« I will always be here for you, my King. » **she said with a warm smile.

**« Thank you. »** Thorin repeated. Then his eyes went to the drawer where Laurelin kept the playing cards. **« What about playing a few games before we go to bed ? »**

**« I would love it, my King. »** Laurelin answered with a smile. She got up and waked over to the drawer, but when she wanted to sit back next to Thorin he shook his head and got up as well, with a low grunt of pain as he forced his tired muscles to move again.

**« I can't play like that. » **He said, pointing at his stained and dusty clothes. « I look and smell like a beggar who hasn't seen a bath in months. Do you think the water is hot enough for a bath ? »

**« It should be. » **Laurelin answered. She opened the lid of the kettle, and saw that the water was hot indeed.

Thorin helped her carry bucket after bucket of hot water upstairs, in his bedroom, till the wated in the tub reached the perfect temperature.

When it was time for him to undress, he was oddly embarrassed to do so in front of Laurelin maybe because he hadn't seen her in six months, but more probably because his relationship with her had changed during his absence. He didn't look at her in the same way he did before, yet after a moment of hesitation he just called himself stupid for being so shy and undressed anyways. And since he was so filthy, he washed and scrubbed his skin by himself, without asking for Laurelin's help as he usually did.

In the meanwhile, Laurelin was sitting on a chair, near the tub where Thorin was bathing. Since she had seen him hesitate, she had turned around while he had undressed, to avoid any further embarrassment. She had picked up his worn clothes and was now checking them some were beyond repair and good for nothing but to be turned into rags, but others she would be able to save. She put them aside, to wash and mend them another day. After a while, she started wondering why Thorin didn't ask for her help. Usually, he always enjoyed when she rubbed his back and washed his hair, but tonight he seemed determined to do these things on his own.

For a while Laurelin just sat on her stool and waited, but after a while she couldn't help but look at Thorin over her shoulder. He was showing her his back. She bit her lips as she hesitated. Then she decided it was time to act. Without waiting for him to ask anything, she got up and walked over to where he was sitting in his tub.

Thorin startled as he suddenly felt Laurelin's hand on his shoulders. He hadn't expected her to come, since he hadn't told her anything, yet it was a pleasant surprise for sure. She took the washing cloth from his hands, and started rubbing his tense back, very softly, in big slow circles. Thorin turned his head and looked at Laurelin over his shoulder, then he apologized for being so dirty his voice was strangely shy as he said those words, but Laurelin just smiled reassuringly at him and shrugged.

**« I'm am not afraid of dust and mud. »** She said, and it was true. She didn't feel disgusted at all as she resumed rubbing Thorin's back. She started with his broad shoulders, then she went lower and lower, till she reached the small of his back.

Slowly, Thorin relaxed under her touch. He leaned his head forwards to give her free access to his back, then he savoured the sweetness of this moment. It had been long since he had last felt so good, so relaxed.

Then Laurelin cast away the washing cloth, to wash him with her bare hands. Here again, Thorin startled quite obviously, but once he had gotten used to her touch he enjoyed it even more than he had before. It was her skin against his, her warmth, her contact... It was something both intimate and comfortable. He felt like a baby in the hands of a loving mother : protected, and well cared for, and deeply satisfied. And the fact that it was Laurelin who made him feel like that made everything even better. He wanted it to go on forever, yet after a while Laurelin announced that she was done. For Thorin, it was like falling back into the real world. He sighed, then he stood up and climbed out of the tub. He wrapped himself in the warm towal Laurelin handed him, and dried himself for a long time, enjoying the feeling of being clean for the first time in weeks.

When he was done, he slipped into the comfortable breeches Laurelin had prepared for him.

**« Would you help me wash my hair ? »** He asked, looking at Laurelin.

**« Of course, my King. »** She answered with a smile. **« I will be glad to help. »**

Thorin leaned over the tub, and cringed when he saw how dity the water now was. Laurelin poured clean, warm water over his head, then sue rubbed soap into his long, black hair. He felt her fingers run on his scalp, and he enjoyed this contact just as much as he had enjoyed her fingers on the skin of his back he was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of happiness and well-being. A moan of contentment escaped his lips.

**« It feels good. » **He said simply, because he was too dazed to think about something more elaborate to say. **« I wish you would never stop. »**

Laurelin smiled, and decided to make it last a little bit longer than necessary, for the mere sake of pleasing him. He didn't say anything more, but the young woman sensed she had his full, complete gratitude. She sensed how quiet and serene he now was.

When they were done at last, Thorin dried his long hair the best he could with the towel, and slipped into a white linen shirt. He looked down at Laurelin, with kindness shining in his blue eyes.

**« You're taking much better care of me than I do. »** He said with a warm, friendly smile. Being here with her was all he needed, rightnow, to feel truly happy.

* * *

><p>Several moments later, they both climbed down the stairs again and sat in front of the fire again. They were facing each other now. Laurelin got the cards from the drawer, and Thorin immediately dealt them out they had learned a few games that were interesting enough when played at two, and they were both looking forward to spending the rest of the evenin together. Laurelin won the first game, and Thorin the second they chatted and aughed as they played, in spite of Thorin's recent loss. After a few games, they even burt out laughing over their game, and for Thorin it felt as if a weight had been lifted off his chest.<p>

**« No one else but you could have cheered me up like that, in spite of the grief and the exhaustion. » **He confided, wiping away tears of laughter. And he truly meant it. Never before had he been so sincere. He needed Laurelin and he knew it. Without her, his life would loose all its favor. His happiness was depending on her, now.

Laurelin smiled at him.

**« Are you hungry ? » **She asked, even though they had eaten their fill at Dis' house before going home.

**« I am acutally quite impatient to savor your meals again. »** He said truthfully. **« I've never met a better cook than you. »**

Laurelin nodded, pleased by his compliment, and went into the kitchen to prepare a quick but hearty meal for Thorin.

While she was away, Thorin watched the living room around him. He knew Laurelin hadn't spent much time at home, since she had worked for Balin frow dawn to dusk, yet she had still found the time to pick some wildflowers and to put them into a coloured glass vase. He kept talking to her while she was busy in the kitchen, en she answered in a lively voice while running from one cooking pot to the other.

When the food was done, Thorin invited Laurelin to sit at the table with him they ate dinner together, and resumed playing cards while they were eating. It was a pleasant, friendly moment, and Thorin enjoyed Laurelin's easy companionship more than ever.

**« By Mahal, I missed this. » **Thorin said, pointing at the beef stew with his fork. **« No one cooks beef like you. »**

The meat was tender and melting in the mouth, accompanied by a thick brown sauce and white perfumed carrots. Thorin loved his siter dearly, but her talents when it came to cooking were nothing compared to Laurelin's, and he was glad the young woman had suggested another meal because Dis' food had not been enough for him.

Thorin and Laurelin played cards until late into the night. Laurelin was tired, because she was not used to being up so late, but she had no desire to leave Thorin's company to go to bed. She wanted to enjoy every moment spent in his company.

After while, though, Thorin was the one who gave in to exhaustion.

**« Time for bed. »** He said wearily, as he helped Laurelin clear the cards away. When they were finished, he looked at Laurelin till she ended looking back at him. Then he grabbed one of her hands. **« Thank you for this wonderful evening. » **He told her, squeezing her hand tenderly. **« It's been a very long time since I enjoyed myself like that, and it's all thanks to you. It's... It's so good to be back home. » He sighed, his eyes still on her. « Good night, then... »**

He squeezed her hand again.

**« It's been a very long time since I enjoyed myself like that, too. »** She admitted with a smile. She hesitated, then she decided to use Thorin's very words. **« And it's all thanks to  
>you, my King. »<strong>

**« Every moment spent in your company is worth all the gold in Erebor. »** He said at last. **« Have a good night, Laurelin. May your sleep be blessed with sweet dreams. »** Then he let go of her hand, and started walking towards the staircase.

Laurelin followed him, but once the moment came to part from Thorin and join her own bedroom, she felt very reluctant.

Thorin noticed her reaction, and chuckled softly.

**« To bed, now. »** He hushed her, still laughing **« We will have many other days to  
>enjoy each other's presence, now ! And we both need rest ! »<strong>

**« Good night, my King. » **She said, before entering her bedchamber.

**« Good night, Laurelin. »**

He watched her till she closed the door behind her, then he entered his own bedroom, and he sighed deeply as he slipped into his own bed, between the clean sheets.

_By Mahal, this is good._

But even better, to him, was the procpect of waking up next morning, and to start a new day in Laurelin's company.


End file.
